👅Real Life Hoe Tips👅

Right now, I’m sifting through 50+ applications for a new entry-level position. Here’s some advice from the person who will actually be looking at your CV/resume and cover letter:

‘You must include a cover letter’ does not mean ‘write a single line about why you want this position’. If you can’t be bothered to write at least one actual paragraphs about why you want this job, I can’t be bothered to read your CV.

Don’t bother including a list of your interests if all you can think of is ‘socialising with friends’ and ‘listening to music’. Everyone likes those things. Unless you can explain why the stuff you do enriches you as a person and a candidate (e.g. playing an instrument or a sport shows dedication and discipline) then I honestly don’t care how you spend your time. I won’t be looking at your CV thinking ‘huh, they haven’t included their interests, they must have none’, I’m just looking for what you have included.

Even if you apply online, I can see the filename you used for your CV. Filenames that don’t include YOUR name are annoying. Filenames like ‘CV - media’ tell me that you’ve got several CVs you send off depending on the kind of job advertised and that you probably didn’t tailor it for this position. ‘[Full name] CV’ is best.

USE. A. PDF. All the meta information, including how long you worked on it, when you created it, times, etc, is right there in a Word doc. PDFs are far more professional looking and clean and mean that I can’t make any (unconscious or not) decisions about you based on information about the file.

I don’t care what the duties in your previous unrelated jobs were unless you can tell me why they’re useful to this job. If you worked in a shop, and you’re applying for an office job which involves talking to lots of people, don’t give me a list of stuff you did, write a sentence about how much you enjoyed working in a team to help everyone you interacted with and did your best to make them leave the shop with a smile. I want to know what makes you happy in a job, because I want you to be happy within the job I’m advertising.

Does the application pack say who you’ll be reporting to? Can you find their name on the company website? Address your application to them. It’s super easy and shows that you give enough of a shit to google something. 95% of people don’t do this.

Tell me who you are. Tell me what makes you want to get up in the morning and go to work and feel fulfilled. Tell me what you’re looking for, not just what you think I’m looking for.

I will skim your CV. If you have a bunch of bullet points, make every one of them count. Make the first one the best one. If it’s not interesting to you, it’s probably not interesting to me. I’m overworked and tired. Make my job easy.

“I work well in a team or individually” okay cool, you and everyone else. If the job means you’ll be part of a big team, talk about how much you love teamwork and how collaborating with people is the best way to solve problems. If the job requires lots of independence, talk about how you are great at taking direction and running with it, and how you have the confidence to follow your own ideas and seek out the insight of others when necessary. I am profoundly uninterested in cookie-cutter statements. I want to know how you actually work, not how a teacher once told you you should work.

For an entry-level role, tell me how you’re looking forward to growing and developing and learning as much as you can. I will hire genuine enthusiasm and drive over cherry-picked skills any day. You can teach someone to use Excel, but you can’t teach someone to give a shit. It makes a real difference.

This is my advice for small, independent orgs like charities, etc. We usually don’t go through agencies, and the person reading through the applications is usually the person who will manage you, so it helps if you can give them a real sense of who you are and how you’ll grab hold of that entry level position and give it all you’ve got. This stuff might not apply to big companies with actual HR departments - it’s up to you to figure out the culture and what they’re looking for and mirror it. Do they use buzzwords? Use the same buzzwords! Do they write in a friendly, informal way? Do the same! And remember, 95% of job hunting (beyond who you know and flat-out nepotism, ugh) is luck. If you keep getting rejected, it’s not because you suck. You might just need a different approach, or it might just take the right pair of eyes landing on your CV.

And if you get rejected, it’s worthwhile asking why. You’ve already been rejected, the worst has already happened, there’s really nothing bad that can come out of you asking them for some constructive feedback (politely, informally, “if it isn’t too much trouble”). Pretty much all of us have been hopeless jobseekers at one point or another. We know it’s shitty and hard and soul-crushing. Friendliness goes a long way. Even if it’s just one line like “your cover letter wasn’t inspiring" at least you know where to start.

And seriously, if you have any friends that do any kind of hiring or have any involvement with that side of things, ask them to look at your CV with a big red pen and brutal honesty. I do this all the time, and the most important thing I do is making it so their CV doesn’t read exactly like that of every other person who took the same ‘how-to-get-a-job’ class in school. If your CV has a paragraph that starts with something like ‘I am a highly motivated and punctual individual who–’ then oh my god I AM ALREADY ASLEEP.

ya’ll for real though, if you don’t own a bathtub and wanna do those “soak in apple cider vinegar” things, get a spray bottle (dollarstore sells ‘em) and put 2/1 ratio of water and vinegar and sit in your shower, lean foreword and let the spray hit your back, and spritz your cooch with the mist and let it soak it in a while before you rinse it

Foods that make u taste better

Pineapple 🍍 Cranberries 🍒 Strawberries 🍓 Basically any fruit 🍉🍐🍎🍑 Water (Lots of it) 💦 100% cranberry / pineapple juice no sugar added 🍹

And foods you should avoid 🙅🏽: Meat 🐄 Eggs 🐔 Dairy 🐮 Sugar 🍦🍫🍰🍭 Beer/Wine/Alcohol/Soda 🍷🍻 Coffee ☕️ Smoking 🚬

end of beginning - djo

Losing your virginity tips 🍒 (by me for once)

if you’re getting to the age or point in your relationship where you think you might be ready to start having sex; here are sum tips

1. if you feel nervous or anxious about it at all, you might not be ready. if you’re just doing it because you’re partner is pressuring you, or all your friends are encouraging you, you’re not ready. When you’re ready, you’ll be comfortable with the thought of having sex without having to be coaxed into it

2. Please, please, please use protection, at least one form or another. Especially if you’re a teenager, you probably wouldn’t want to get pregnant, and don’t forget that STD’s exist and can ruin your life

3. Make sure you’re doing this with someone you’re absolutely comfortable with. They will inevitably see you naked and if the thought of that makes you uncomfortable, you’re not quite ready, which is fine too

4. To avoid awkward situations, make sure you have a good time and place with enough privacy. If you don’t want someone to walk in on you or passerby’s to see you, make sure you’re somewhere that’s not possible.

5. Remember that you don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with and that even if you’ve started something and feel like stopping at any point, this is valid and a good partner will respect your decision

6. Ok, now if you’re ready and all of the previous tips are in order, make sure you’re in your best shape. I don’t mean your body or anything like that. Any body is a good body. But I mean make sure you’re feeling confident. Be hygienic, make sure you’re clean and smelling your best and wearing something you feel confident in.

7. Have fun, be safe. Sure, losing your “v-card” only happens once, but it doesn’t have to define you. So if even if you wanted to do this, and nothing went wrong, and you still regret it, that’s okay, you’ll have a million other chances.

Love y’all!! 💘

hoe tips: how to give a fire blowjob 🔥🍆

-i recommend going in with little makeup or no makeup bc your face WILL get wet and messy super quick. if you do plan on wearing makeup, make sure you set that shit with powder puff, and press that shit into your skin HARD and use a setting spray. also wear a super waterproof mascara, bc your eyes will water, and have tissues nearby for after so you can wipe your face. also, try not to eat at least 2-3 hours before so you don’t accidentally throw up. also if you don’t know this person well or don’t know their status use a damn condom.

-tease your partner. start with lots of kissing (or a massage 😋 look here)  while rubbing their dick through their pants. go slowly. dirty talk is good here too. tease them for a while, let the anticipation build up.

-sucking their dick while they’re lying down with your back arched and your ass in the air is super sexy, or you can try being on your knees if your partner is more of the dominant type. when you finally pull their dick out, start off with a simple handjob. then, graze their dick with your mouth, and start long licks from their balls to the tip of their dick.

-dry head is unpleasureable. use LOTS of spit. put their dick to the back of your throat. your gag reflex will kick in and you will gag on their dick, causing you to produce lots of spit. the sound of you gagging will turn them on also.

-start sucking their dick,by using your hands and your mouth. start by gripping (not super tightly,just firm) the base of their dick in your hand(s), then wrap your mouth around the rest, so your lips meet your fist. then move your hands and your mouth up and down in a rhythmic motion while sucking. use more suction going up then going down. do NOT use your teeth.

-now i know we all want to be cute, but you can’t be cute when sucking dick,sorry. be sloppy as hell. lose your inhibition. go all out. 

-sound effects can really help. loud sucking + slurping + gagging + moaning = them nutting faster

-eye contact is important. looking up at them while you suck their dick will make them go crazy.

-don’t forget about their balls either! lightly massage,lick and suck on them as well. don’t do it too hard though, it can be uncomfortable.

-if your mouth gets tired,you can go back to giving them a hand job, or if you’re well endowed in the breast area, you can put their dick between your breasts and titty fuck them. dirty talk is good too. either way be sure to give your mouth a break so you don’t tire yourself out too quickly.

-if you wanna be an extra bitch & deepthroat, use throat numbing spray. you can find it online or in drugstores by the medicine & shit. spray it in the back of your throat beforehand.

-when they nut, you have a few options. swallowing is ideal but if you’re a freaky bitch you can take it to the face or titties. only do this if you know this person is STD free, otherwise just let them cum in the condom.

Right now, I’m sifting through 50+ applications for a new entry-level position. Here’s some advice from the person who will actually be looking at your CV/resume and cover letter:

‘You must include a cover letter’ does not mean ‘write a single line about why you want this position’. If you can’t be bothered to write at least one actual paragraphs about why you want this job, I can’t be bothered to read your CV.

Don’t bother including a list of your interests if all you can think of is ‘socialising with friends’ and ‘listening to music’. Everyone likes those things. Unless you can explain why the stuff you do enriches you as a person and a candidate (e.g. playing an instrument or a sport shows dedication and discipline) then I honestly don’t care how you spend your time. I won’t be looking at your CV thinking ‘huh, they haven’t included their interests, they must have none’, I’m just looking for what you have included.

Even if you apply online, I can see the filename you used for your CV. Filenames that don’t include YOUR name are annoying. Filenames like ‘CV - media’ tell me that you’ve got several CVs you send off depending on the kind of job advertised and that you probably didn’t tailor it for this position. ‘[Full name] CV’ is best.

USE. A. PDF. All the meta information, including how long you worked on it, when you created it, times, etc, is right there in a Word doc. PDFs are far more professional looking and clean and mean that I can’t make any (unconscious or not) decisions about you based on information about the file.

I don’t care what the duties in your previous unrelated jobs were unless you can tell me why they’re useful to this job. If you worked in a shop, and you’re applying for an office job which involves talking to lots of people, don’t give me a list of stuff you did, write a sentence about how much you enjoyed working in a team to help everyone you interacted with and did your best to make them leave the shop with a smile. I want to know what makes you happy in a job, because I want you to be happy within the job I’m advertising.

Does the application pack say who you’ll be reporting to? Can you find their name on the company website? Address your application to them. It’s super easy and shows that you give enough of a shit to google something. 95% of people don’t do this.

Tell me who you are. Tell me what makes you want to get up in the morning and go to work and feel fulfilled. Tell me what you’re looking for, not just what you think I’m looking for.

I will skim your CV. If you have a bunch of bullet points, make every one of them count. Make the first one the best one. If it’s not interesting to you, it’s probably not interesting to me. I’m overworked and tired. Make my job easy.

“I work well in a team or individually” okay cool, you and everyone else. If the job means you’ll be part of a big team, talk about how much you love teamwork and how collaborating with people is the best way to solve problems. If the job requires lots of independence, talk about how you are great at taking direction and running with it, and how you have the confidence to follow your own ideas and seek out the insight of others when necessary. I am profoundly uninterested in cookie-cutter statements. I want to know how you actually work, not how a teacher once told you you should work.

For an entry-level role, tell me how you’re looking forward to growing and developing and learning as much as you can. I will hire genuine enthusiasm and drive over cherry-picked skills any day. You can teach someone to use Excel, but you can’t teach someone to give a shit. It makes a real difference.

This is my advice for small, independent orgs like charities, etc. We usually don’t go through agencies, and the person reading through the applications is usually the person who will manage you, so it helps if you can give them a real sense of who you are and how you’ll grab hold of that entry level position and give it all you’ve got. This stuff might not apply to big companies with actual HR departments - it’s up to you to figure out the culture and what they’re looking for and mirror it. Do they use buzzwords? Use the same buzzwords! Do they write in a friendly, informal way? Do the same! And remember, 95% of job hunting (beyond who you know and flat-out nepotism, ugh) is luck. If you keep getting rejected, it’s not because you suck. You might just need a different approach, or it might just take the right pair of eyes landing on your CV.

And if you get rejected, it’s worthwhile asking why. You’ve already been rejected, the worst has already happened, there’s really nothing bad that can come out of you asking them for some constructive feedback (politely, informally, “if it isn’t too much trouble”). Pretty much all of us have been hopeless jobseekers at one point or another. We know it’s shitty and hard and soul-crushing. Friendliness goes a long way. Even if it’s just one line like “your cover letter wasn’t inspiring" at least you know where to start.

And seriously, if you have any friends that do any kind of hiring or have any involvement with that side of things, ask them to look at your CV with a big red pen and brutal honesty. I do this all the time, and the most important thing I do is making it so their CV doesn’t read exactly like that of every other person who took the same ‘how-to-get-a-job’ class in school. If your CV has a paragraph that starts with something like ‘I am a highly motivated and punctual individual who–’ then oh my god I AM ALREADY ASLEEP.

How to Feign Your Life is Together

Have a signature accessory, clothing article, make up look, or hair style.

Have a fragrance. Make your hair scents and lotions match your perfume.

It’s okay to dine alone. Bring a book or people watch.

Love your hair. Research the best brands for your hair type and use masks weekly.

Your nails don’t need to be fancy, but keep them maintained.

Stay worldly. Know works of art, artists, designers, films, books, politicians. Spend your lunch break reading the paper or a magazine.

Crying is not a weapon. It’s okay to feel your emotions, but never use them as an excuse to avoid your problems.

Jealousy is boring. Love and appreciate others. If you can’t love them, forget them.

Boost others. Flatter others, but don’t deprecate yourself in the process.

Don’t sulk. Don’t let the whole world know your problems. If you don’t want someone to give their opinion, don’t share your situation.

Your life is between you and the universe. Don’t post your personal matters for others to see.

Don’t emotionally blackmail others. They hurt you? Let them know and then move on. It’s between the two of you and not the world.

Cook dinner. Cook dinner and listen to music, the radio, or a podcast.

Treat yourself to candles and flowers. Be your own cheerleader.

Take naps. Take a cat nap on a Sunday afternoon with the blinds open and the fan on high.

Drink your water, eat your vegetables. Take care of your body.

Never have time to take off your jewelry before bed, but always have time to take off your makeup. Your nighttime skin regime is important.

Mystery is beautiful. You don’t need to reveal much of or about yourself.

Never appear other than as you are. Don’t lie about yourself. Embrace who you are at your core.