if you’re getting to the age or point in your relationship where you think you might be ready to start having sex; here are sum tips
1. if you feel nervous or anxious about it at all, you might not be ready. if you’re just doing it because you’re partner is pressuring you, or all your friends are encouraging you, you’re not ready. When you’re ready, you’ll be comfortable with the thought of having sex without having to be coaxed into it
2. Please, please, please use protection, at least one form or another. Especially if you’re a teenager, you probably wouldn’t want to get pregnant, and don’t forget that STD’s exist and can ruin your life
3. Make sure you’re doing this with someone you’re absolutely comfortable with. They will inevitably see you naked and if the thought of that makes you uncomfortable, you’re not quite ready, which is fine too
4. To avoid awkward situations, make sure you have a good time and place with enough privacy. If you don’t want someone to walk in on you or passerby’s to see you, make sure you’re somewhere that’s not possible.
5. Remember that you don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with and that even if you’ve started something and feel like stopping at any point, this is valid and a good partner will respect your decision
6. Ok, now if you’re ready and all of the previous tips are in order, make sure you’re in your best shape. I don’t mean your body or anything like that. Any body is a good body. But I mean make sure you’re feeling confident. Be hygienic, make sure you’re clean and smelling your best and wearing something you feel confident in.
7. Have fun, be safe. Sure, losing your “v-card” only happens once, but it doesn’t have to define you. So if even if you wanted to do this, and nothing went wrong, and you still regret it, that’s okay, you’ll have a million other chances.
Love y’all!! 💘
If you need…
Rest and recuperation:
- take a nap
- sit in the warm sunshine
- cuddle a pet
- take a bath
- go to bed early
- meditate
- forget all the yoga and just lie in corpse pose for however long you need
Self love:
- put on body lotion
- change your clothes into something more comfortable
- wash your hair
- light some candles
- write a love letter to yourself
- list 10 good things about yourself
Reminiscence and nostalgia:
- watch a childhood classic on TV
- clean your room: make it cozy and safe
- care for yourself the way your guardians would when you were a sick child
- do a small task or hobby that you used to love - listen to old music
- play a game from your past
Energy:
- eat a healthy meal
- put on some upbeat music
- drink ice cold water
- change into clothes that make you feel good but aren’t pyjamas
- go for a walk
- challenge yourself to do the things you want to do and reward yourself after
Companionship:
- get in touch with a friend
- go to a public place, like a coffee shop
- say hello to a stranger
- call your mum
- message a long lost friend
- arrange to meet someone you love
- join online groups of people with similar interests
Health:
- do some light exercise
- drink a glass of water
- do some yoga or stretches
- go to bed early
- take a short walk or jog
- eat something healthy and tasty
- clean your home
To express yourself:
- write about how your feelings
- dance to your favourite music
- sing
- put on makeup
- paint or draw
- bullet journal
- write a story, some poetry or a diary entry
- change your hairstyle
Comfort:
- drink something warm
- go somewhere you feel safe
- spend time with safe, loving people
- watch a lovely tv show or movie
- get under some blankets
- if it’s cold, sit by a fire
- cuddle someone or something
- give yourself a little hug
self checks are a very important part of self-care and good mental health! make sure you check up on yourself and do things that help you when you don’t feel so good.
Can you give some blowjob tips? I need to improve lol
Aight get ready to get ur hoe on, this is everything I know. And this is what works for me, so try it out and play around w it see what works for u and whats enjoyable for ur partner and suck his soul outta is body. Remember you can’t half-ass this shit it wont be enjoyable for you or him, you gotta dive right in like the sex god(dess) you are:
Tease him, don’t just jump right in. Make out & stroke him over his clothes, rub and squeeze a bit. Kiss his damn neck, don’t forget his nipples, they sensitive 2 (play w it, lick it - pro tip: a light touch is A+)
kiss your way down, be sensual & shit, guys love that shit; look up @ him when u do, that’s sexy as hell; get comfortable cause I know when I don’t take time to position myself my knees and hips hurt like a bitch, I like sitting/kneeling between his legs if he’s laying down or sitting. If he’s standing its not as bad
I like to stroke and pump him lightly a few times a few times while I try to gather saliva in my mouth. how you want to start is up 2 u. Licking his length or putting the tip in your mouth (i like this one). I like to switch it up tho, so go crazy. Establishing eye contact when u do this is hella erotic too. Kiss his belly (like below his belly button and above his pubic area - if u wanna kiss there thats fine too I don’t cause pubes), kiss his thighs (guys love this too)
People say roll your lips over your teeth (like an old person) so you don’t scrape his weewee but like????? that dont work with me & makes it more difficult, I don’t have much trouble with my teeth. Just keep your lips flat over your teeth (don’t pull your lips up like with a toothy smile) and you’ll be fine.
The 1st 10-15 seconds, I’m just trying to get him as wet as possible with spit (and you can use this to see how much of him you can fit in your mouth) so bounce your head a few times and suck, test how far in you can fit him, get messy and get it wet (as much as you can) guys LOVE sloppy cause it feels much better. If you have difficulty with this, try hitting the back of your throat. If you gag a little it’ll produce more saliva but back up immediately. In my experience, if I’m enjoying myself and getting into it then I produce a lot more spit. If it’s still difficult invest in some lube.
Go fuckin wild. The main thing is to suck on it obv. Bounce your head up and down, use your hand(s) to stroke what you can’t fit in your mouth. Swirl your tongue around while you suck on him. Alternate your speeds, go fast for a few seconds then slow down. And vary your sucking strength too. Sometimes you gotta suck him like its the end of the world and switch it up and do it lightly to tease him. A trick is “hollowing out your cheeks”, you’re basically pulling your cheeks in like when you make a “goldfish face” or when your contour LMAO this makes it super tight - I can’t do this for very long gotta watch out for teeth when u do this tho. It’s okay to take breaks from sucking and take him out of your mouth, just keep stroking him with your hand. And lick his length (eye contact!!)
I know some guys like to face fuck a girl, mine doesn’t really. But if he does and you’re comfortable with it then just relax your mouth and let him do the work. I tend to flex the back of my throat when ths happens or else it’ll hit my gag reflex. Remember to talk about it before hand (usually a guy will ask if he can) make sure you have a signal or something to back off because it can get overwhelming especially if he’s larger and/or doing very hard.
During strokes, squeeze a little tighter when you’re pulling towards the tip (you) than when you’re going towards him. it’s okay to use a tight grip (don’t hulk it) but I found that light teasing touches are gr8 too. Focus on the head, do small strokes on the tip, run your thumb over it. Lightly lick the tip and flick your tongue around and play w it. Take the tip into your mouth and suck on it
Don’t forget about his balls! They’re super super sensitive. When you need a break from sucking, keep stroking his shaft, and lick his balls. Try and take them in your mouth suck on em and swirl them around with your tongue (try taking both if u can u champ; if not one @ a time is good too). But you definitely have to be more careful with them because you can easily hurt him. When you’re sucking on his penis, massage his balls lightly (hella sensations)
okay my finishing move; if he hasn’t come yet that day (my partner and I go several rounds so) this will finish him right off. When you’re sucking him, try to take him as far in as you can that you’re still comfortable with and tense and flex the muscles there. A swallowing motion around his penis, while you’re sucking. This might take some practice to flex it while still sucking so it’s okay to actually swallow, it’ll just prevent you from sucking. If you moan or hum during this the vibrations will make it even better. If you can deep throat him then hell yeah hell yeah, go u (i can’t lmao)
Pay attention to his reactions. If his breathing gets erratic, his grip gets tighter, moan, or buckle his hips when you’re doing a certain move then keep doing it. Observe him and what he likes. It’s really helpful if he communicates, I know certain guys don’t though. So ask him, say “oh you like that?” “this feel good?” I like to keep it playful and joke if I know he’s enjoying it “oh you like that? want me to keep going?” etc. it’ll classify as dirty talk and help guide you to do more of what he likes.
When he’s close, focus on the tip. Usually guys will let you know (if he doesn’t, tell him beforehand to give you a warning) I always swallow, if you can: do it. It’s sexy for him, and less of a mess. Try to swallow while he’s cumming, cause in my experience if I wait and let it pool in my mouth, it’ll be unpleasant it gets messy & leaks when you remove your mouth. While he’s cumming, do light sucking motions on his head, don’t take him all the way in (I angle his penis up towards the roof of my mouth instead of the back of my throat cause if you have a gag reflex then whoa buddy ur in for a surprise. I don’t even have a sensitive one and it made me gag and tear up because ejaculation comes out at a v fast pace.)
If you can’t swallow then try to keep it in your mouth and go to the bathroom to spit it out. Try and take it like a trooper, because if you make faces of disgust it’ll make him feel bad. If you really don’t want him to, then talk about it with him beforehand and come to an agreement, maybe let him cum on you, in your hand, or something. I don’t like doing this because it is really messy, especially if he has a big load (which mine does). My guy and I have an agreement that he can cum on me if we’re in the shower cause it washes right off.
And last thing: not mandatory obviously but it’ll make your life easier. If you have long hair I recommend tying it up in a ponytail. It makes it neater, it’s gives him a good view of what you’re doing. And it’s something for him to grab onto (and pull - if you’re into that).
Have fun, do your best, remember that this takes time and it’s not something you get great at overnight (but if u do then good for u), it takes time. So go out there and make them moan and cuss under their breath with your blowjob skills.
21 tips and tricks to make ur guy crave you, you’re welcome ;)
1. kiss his neck then continue all the way down his body (stomach) till you reach the dick
2. when you get to the penis, take your tongue out and lick from the top (tip) all the way down to the bottom (by the balls), then back up, then put it in your mouth
3. put one hand around the part of his dick that doesn’t comfortably fit in your mouth and use that to help support the bj
4. make sure your tongue is working hard core. remember, the tongue is a muscle so use that mofo
5. don’t get confused by the name “blow” job. you should be sucking. not too hard, not too softly.
6. take your tongue and move it up and press it directly on the tip of the head(very top). Yeah sounds nasty but they’ll die of happiness
7. or take your tongue and circle it around the head, they love that too
8. side note here’s a tip to make it easier to deep throat: hold down your left thumb all the way into your palm, it somehow helps to stop your gag reflex
9. if you place your pointer finger and thumb (use the hand you’re using to help the bj) around your lips like you’re outlining your lips, itll feel like you’re going deeper than you actually are.
10. when you’re ready for your jaw to take a break try this: take both hands and put them stacked around his penis, then gently, key word GENTLY, twist in opposite directions.
11. this sounds weird, but pretend you’re loving it as much as he is. this will make him more turned on, moan while his thingy is in your mouth, the vibrations of the moans will add some good feelings too
12. body temps rise during hookups, so suck a piece of ice before giving him a bj, or even take a cold sip of water in the middle of the process. hell thank you later
13. gross but awesome for guys: gently massage their balls, but be VERY FUCKING CAREFUL because they are sensitive beyong beleif
14. make sure it’s wet, lots of saliva or lube, whatever you prefer
15. occasionally go super deep, as deep as you can go, then go back into the normal flow of how you were blowing him before
16. big fyi: alcohol causes your throat to tighten making it harder to deep throat or even give a bj at all
17. majority of guys like pain while being stimulated so if he’s down for that, dig your nails into his chest or back, or nibble the bottom of his tummy. but test out the waters slowly and make sure hes cool with it
18. don’t hide away under covers, he prolly wants to watch the action ;)
19. when he starts to “finish” go slowly again
20. try this to drive them fucking insane: when you feel them about to finish, stop blowing him and slightly squeeze his dick at the bottom with your hand, then wait a second, then continue.
21. and lastly, try some cool positions: both laying on sides, can also 69 like this or have him on his knees kinda on top of you so he can help move up and down to how he likes it
hope these tips helped at least a little, remember to reblog and give me creds :)
posted by ivegotsomebadintentionss
ya’ll for real though, if you don’t own a bathtub and wanna do those “soak in apple cider vinegar” things, get a spray bottle (dollarstore sells ‘em) and put 2/1 ratio of water and vinegar and sit in your shower, lean foreword and let the spray hit your back, and spritz your cooch with the mist and let it soak it in a while before you rinse it
Day 1: Start reducing screen time at least an hour before you go to sleep. Read a book, do some drawing, take a bath, etc. You’ll sleep like a baby.
Day 2: Start moisturizing your face with SPF twice a day.
Day 3: Start using mouthwash BEFORE brushing your teeth; it helps get bacteria and other microbes off of your teeth more efficiently for a stronger clean👄
Day 4: Take 5 minutes to stretch right after waking up.
Day 5: Start drinking a glass of cold water before you eat breakfast to kickstart your metabolism.
Day 6: Start applying Vitamin E oil to your stretch marks right after you shower daily for smooth flawless skin.
Day 7: Start doing a mini 5 minute work out before your shower: squats, pushups, planks, whatever you like doing.
Day 8: Take a day off from social media to actually enjoy your surroundings🌅🌄
Day 9: Take an epsom salt bath for an overall detox (you can find bags of epsom salt at your local pharmacy).
Day 10: Start the day with a healthy breakfast. Scrambled eggs, a bowl of fruit, some whole grain toast, etc
Day 11: Switch from coffee to tea for a healthier caffeine fix☕
Day 12: Take a break from makeup today. Let ya skin breathe.
Day 13: Start applying SPF to your hands daily👐
Day 14: Go meatless for the day. You’ll really feel the difference in your body/energy throughout the day.
Day 15: Do a face mask today, whether it be a homemade one or that one with the pretty packaging that you always want to do but the time never felt right. Yeah, that one!!
Day 16: Create a “getting ready” playlist, put songs for the mood you want to be in, instead of the mood you are in🎶
Day 17: Four words: SEA SALT SCRUB DOWN. Mix some olive oil and sea salt and you got yourself a bomb ass body scrub.
Day 18: Declutter something today, having a more organized environment will help improve your mood.
Day 19: Go commando for today! You gotta let her get some air.
Day 20: Exercise, it doesn’t have to be intense at all. Go for a walk with your dog, for a jog, even a dance session in your room with your fave playlist🏃
Day 21: Clean your sheets today, especially your pillow case!!! There is all kinds of shit that could be on there rn, you should be doing this every 1-2 weeks.
Day 22: Wake up 2 hours earlier (okay.. 1 hour) Use this time to make your day less stressful.
Day 23: Spend your spare time reading or studying today📚
Day 24: Eat some chocolate; yes seriously. Dark chocolate is ideal but any will do. It’s great for your metabolism and your mood!
Day 25: Try something different with your hair today. Doesn’t matter if it’s just a new style or maybe something big like a new color, or cut. Even parting your hair a different way can transform your whole look💇
Day 26: Beat ya face, dress up real cute and take a bunch of selfies.
Day 27: Start flossing after every meal to avoid plaque building up on your teeth so you can strengthen and protect those pearly whites😀
Day 28: Delete old contacts of people you don’t fw anymore, and unfollow any people you don’t fw on social media. Cutting off dead ends clears your skin✨
Day 29: Splurge on some cute ass lingerie that makes you feel like a queen, whether it be for yourself, your mans, or ya lady. Having sexy lingerie on as you go about your day can boost your confidence for sure
Day 30: Apply a sugar scrub to your lips once or twice a week and moisturize them daily to keep your lips nice and luscious😘
Pineapple 🍍 Cranberries 🍒 Strawberries 🍓 Basically any fruit 🍉🍐🍎🍑 Water (Lots of it) 💦 100% cranberry / pineapple juice no sugar added 🍹
And foods you should avoid 🙅🏽: Meat 🐄 Eggs 🐔 Dairy 🐮 Sugar 🍦🍫🍰🍭 Beer/Wine/Alcohol/Soda 🍷🍻 Coffee ☕️ Smoking 🚬
end of beginning - djo
In Mandy Len Catron’s Modern Love essay, “To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This,” she refers to a study by the psychologist Arthur Aron (and others) that explores whether intimacy between two strangers can be accelerated by having them ask each other a specific series of personal questions. The 36 questions in the study are broken up into three sets, with each set intended to be more probing than the previous one.
The idea is that mutual vulnerability fosters closeness. To quote the study’s authors, “One key pattern associated with the development of a close relationship among peers is sustained, escalating, reciprocal, personal self-disclosure.” Allowing oneself to be vulnerable with another person can be exceedingly difficult, so this exercise forces the issue.
The final task Ms. Catron and her friend try — staring into each other’s eyes for four minutes, with the suggested duration ranging from two minutes to four. But Ms. Catron was unequivocal in her recommendation. “Two minutes is just enough to be terrified,” she told me. “Four really goes somewhere.”
Set I
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
Set II
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
Set III
25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling … “
26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share …”
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
The problem isn’t falling in love, it’s staying in love.
Source: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html