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How to cheat at the Hogwarts sorting quiz!
I don’t know if this been done before but oh well:
Want to be a Gryffindor but you keep getting Hufflepuff? Or maybe you feel like a Ravenclaw but you get Slytherin? Here is how to get the house you want! This is not really cheating, considering which questions you got; also timing but this gives you at least chance to get the house you want.
I’m going to do this house for house; with each question and what percentage you get. Hope this doesn’t get confusing.
Let’s go!
Let’s start with Ravenclaw:
1. Dawn 50%
2. Forest 50%
3. Moon 50%
4. Ignorant 57%
5. Think with admiration of your achievements 63%
6. The Wise (obviously) 67%
7. Wisdom (duh) 70%
8. Fresh parchment 73%
9. The foaming, frothing, silvering liquid that sparkles as though containing ground diamonds. 75%
10. The piano 77%
11. The silver leafed tree bearing golden apples 79%
12. The ornate golden casket. 80%
13. Mysterious handwritten book; perfected cure then student records. 81%
14. Hunger or being ignored 78%
15. Imitated 79%
16. The power to change you appearance at will. 78%
17. Transfiguration or every area of magic I can. 79%
18. Goblins 78%
19. Attempt to confuse the troll 79%
20. Tell Professor Flitwick the truth. 80%
21. Ask what makes them think so? 81%
22. Standing on top of something very high 81%
23. The cobbled street lined with ancient buildings 82%
24. Withdraw into the shadows to await developments... 83%
25. Tawny; screech; brown or barn owl. 83%
26. White 81%
27. Heads 79%
28. Left 77%
That is the most Ravenclaw answers.
Now it’s Slytherin!
1. Dusk 50%
2. River 50%
3. Moon 50%
4. Ordinary 57%
5. I don’t care what people think of me after I’m dead. 63%
6. The Great (obviously) 67%
7. Power (duh) 70%
8. The sea 73%
9. The mysterious black liquid that gleams like ink, and gives off fumes that make you see strange visions 75%
10. The violin 77%
11. The bubbling pool, in the depths of which something luminous is swirling. 79%
12. The gleaming jet black box 80%
13. Student records, mysterious handwritten book then nearly perfected cure 81%
14. Cold, boredom or being ignored 78%
15. Feared 79%
16. The power to change the past 78%
17. Hexes and jinxes 79%
18. Vampires 80%
19. Suggest that all three of you fight 81%
20. You would not wait to be asked to tell Professor Flitwick the truth. 82%
21. Agree, and ask whether they’d like a free sample of a jinx? 82%
22. Being forced to speak in silly voice. 83%
23. The narrow, dark, lantern-lit alley 84%
24. Draw your wand and stand your ground 84%
25. Siamese, ginger, black or white cat. 84%
26. Black 82%
27. Tails 80%
28. Left 78%
And that is Slytherin!
On to Hufflepuff!
1. Dusk 50%
2. River 50%
3. Stars 50%
4. Selfish 57%
5. Miss you, but smile 63%
6. The Good (obviously) 67%
7. Love (duh) 70%
8. Home 73%
9. The smooth, thick, richly purple drink that gives off a delicious smell of chocolate and plums. 75%
10. The trumpet 77%
11. The fat red toadstools that appear to be talking to each other. 79%
12. The small tortoiseshell box 80%
13. Student records; perfected cure then mysterious handwritten book. 81%
14. Hunger cold or loneliness 78%
15. Liked 79%
16. The power of superhuman strength 78%
17. All about magical creatures. 79%
18. Merpeople, werewolves and trolls 77%
19. Suggest drawing lots 78%
20. Lie and say you don’t know. 78%
21. Tell them that you are worried about their mental health, and offer to call a doctor. 79%
22. Waking up to find that neither your friends nor your family have any idea who you are. 80%
23. The wide, sunny, grassy lane 81%
24. Proceed with caution... 81%
25. Common, Natterjack or Harlequin toad 81%
26. White 79%
27. Heads 78%
28. Right 76%
And those are the Hufflepuff answers
Last but not least Gryffindor!
1. Dawn 50%
2. Forest 50%
3. Stars 50%
4. Cowardly 57%
5. Ask for more stories about your adventures 63%
6. The Bold (obviously) 67%
7. Glory (duh) 70%
8. A crackling log fire 73%
9. The golden liquid so bright that it hurts the eye, and which makes sunspots dance all around the room. 75%
10. The drum 77%
11. The statue of an old wizard with a strangely twinkling eye. 79%
12. The small pewter box 80%
13. First nearly perfected cure, mysterious book and then student records. 81%
14. Loneliness and boredom 78%
15. Praised 77%
16. The power of invisibility 76%
17. Secrets about the castle. 77%
18. Centaurs, werewolves and ghosts 75%
19. Volunteer to fight? 76%
20. Tell Professor Flitwick that he ought to ask your classmate. 77%
21. Agree and walk away, leaving them to wonder whether you are bluffing 78%
22. An eye at the keyhole of the dark, windowless room in which you are locked. 79%
23. The twisting, leaf-strewn path through woods 79%
24. Draw your wand and try to discover the source of the noise? 80%
25. Tabby cat or dragon toad 79%
26. Black 77%
27. Tails 76%
28. Right 74%
And that is Gryffindor!
There is the most like answers for whatever house! Hope this information is useful of interesting.
Okay scroll on.
ravenclaws won’t continue studying even when their head feels like it’s about to split open. ravenclaws will take a break, close their eyes, drink tea, and start again after a while. they know the information they study won’t be retained long, so what’s the use of it? they’ll just be wasting time for nothing.
slytherins on the other hand…
Gryffindor: *kicks the “G” off of the “Graveyard” sign* Yeah, Let’s get this party started!
Ravenclaw and Slytherin: Wow.
House shenanigans
Ravenclaw: Norweiga 👏 is 👏 not 👏 a 👏 country!
Gryffindor: cowering under a desk Where are Norwegian people from then!?
Slytherin: recording NORWAY!
House Vines
Hufflepuff performing stand up comedy
Hufflepuff: So, I’ve got a drinking problem.
Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw: light chuckles
Hufflepuff: I’m not old enough to drink, that’s the problem.
Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw: all whooping and cheering
House Vines
Gryffindor walks into class
Slytherin: Aww fuck! See I thought I was gonna have a happy day at school, but then you walked in.
Ravenclaw: What did gryffindor do?
Slytherin: Bitch go and exist.
Gryffindor:...
Ravenclaw: turns to gryffindor Why would you do that?
House shenanigans
Slytherin: pulls out a knife
Hufflepuff: oh no.
Slytherin: uses knife to open cardboard box
Hufflepuff: phew.
Slytherin: pulls out gun from cardboard box
Hufflepuff: oH nO.
House shenanigans
Ravenclaw: Slytherin, someone’s been kidnapped!
Slytherin: I swear to god if it’s Gryffindor-
Ravenclaw: It’s Gryffindor.
Slytherin: SoN oF a BiTcH!
House Vines
Gryffindor standing on the edge of one of the buildings in hogsmeade getting ready to jump.
Slytherin: unenthusiastically Don’t kill yourself.
Gryffindor: Planking on the edge I might!
Slytherin: still unenthusiastically while trying to grab griffindor Don’t kill yourself.
Gryffindor: Hanging upside down from the edge I might!
Slytherin: whilst pulling gryffindor by their feet That’ll ruin the trip, dude.
House Vines
At slytherins birthday party
Gryffindor: walking up to slytherin with a gift Happy birthday biiitch!
Slytherin: So you just bring me a birthday gift on my birthday to my birthday party on my birthday with a birthday gift?
Gryffindor: Happy birthday?
Slytherin: smashes glass on gryffindor’s head
House shenanigans
Hufflepuff: Why are people so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I would just be excited to have a bunk bed.
Slytherin:
Gryffindor:
Ravenclaw:
Gryffindor: I’m gonna to tell them.
Literally everybody: DON’T YOU DARE!!
What’s heavier?
Gryffindor: Got a question for you. What’s heavier? A kilogram of steel? Or a kilogram of feathers?
Time ticks
Gryffindor: That’s right. It’s a kilogram of steel. Because steel is heavier than feathers.
Gryffindor’s Show!
Gryffindor: What do you mean?
Slytherin: They’re both a kilogram.
Gryffindor: But steel is heavier than feathers...
Slytherin: Heh. I know, but they’re both a kilogram.
Gryffindor:...Wha?
Gryffindor’s Show!
A scale holding both a kilogram of feathers and steel stands before gryffindor. The scale is balanced.
Gryffindor: That doesn’t prove anything, because steel is heavier than feathers.
Hufflepuff: I know, but look. They’re both a kilogram. Right? So they’re the same.
Gryffindor: Ok, but look at the size of this. *points to the huge bag of feathers* That’s cheating!
Slytherin: *laughs* No, they’re the same weight!
Hufflepuff: *also laughing* it’s a kilogram!
Gryffindor: But steels heavier than feathers...
Gryffindor’s Show!
Ravenclaw examining the scale.
Ravenclaw: They’re both a kilogram.
Gryffindor: Oh no...oh, no, you, ah...no...
Hufflepuff: You alright?
Gryffindor: *sadly* I don’t get it.
Slytherin: Sorry...
Ravenclaw: Yeah...Don’t worry about it!
House Vines
Ravenclaw prefect: *Singing while bursting into Slytherin’s dorm* Good morning~Good mooooorrrning~!!!!
Ravenclaw prefect: Wake up kiddo it’s Saturday!!
Slytherin: Ugh...Ravenclaw I was out late!
Ravenclaw prefect: *Takes a big slurp of tea* I know!
House Vines
Hufflepuff: I spilt lipstick in your Valentino bag.
Slytherin: Oh! You spill-WaWAwAWa-LIPSTICK In mY VaLeNtInO WHITE bAg!!
House Vines
Slytherin: *to literally everybody else* ThE BaGs uNdEr My eYeS ArE PRADA.
Slytherin: *Laughs menacingly*
Gryfindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff:...
Slytherin: Kill your family.
House Vines
Slytherin: I should’ve left you on that street corner where you were standing.
Gryfindor: *intense pause*
Gryfindor: But ch’ya didnt!
House Vines
Slytherin: *holding a crayon*
Hufflepuff: SLYTHERIN! Is THat A WeED!?
Slytherin: No, this is a crayon-
Hufflepuff: IM CalLiNg ThE POliCe!! *dials 911 in a microwave*
Slytherin: *rolls eyes*
911: 911 what’s your emergency?
X files theme
House Vines
*eerie violin music playing*
Slytherin: Hello Gryffindor.
Gryffindor: Hi Slytherin.
Slytherin: *looks down*
Slytherin: Those shoes look familiar. *smiles coldly*
House Vines
Slytherin: You can’t sit with us.
Hufflepuff: actually Slytherin I can’t sit anywhere. I have-
Hufflepuff: *turns to face the camera that only hufflepuff can see* Hemroids!
House Vines
Slytherin: I’m over with this dumbass school with all these fake ass bitches-
Ravenclaw: *waving* Hey.
Slytherin: *In a sweet voice* Hey!
Slytherin: *under breath* Fucking bitch.
House Vines
Gryffindor: I’m not gonna convresate with you. I’m not gonna invest time-
Slytherin: *stirring tea* I think it’s converse.
Gryffindor: Huh?
Slytherin: Just say talk. *sips tea*
House Vines
Gryffindor: *plays flute*
Hufflepuff: Look! It’s a snake charmer!
Gryffindor: Ey yo snake!
Slytherin: *pauses and whips around*
Gryffindor: You cute as hell.
Slytherin: *blushes* Ssssstop.
House Vines
Voldemort: I don’t understand why you’re mad at me.
Harry: You killed my mom!
Voldemort: Yeah, but then I said “April fools”
Harry: *laughing* Dude!
Voldemort: *also laughing* I got you good!
Harry: You did!
House Vines
Gryffindor: When you drink too much orange juice-
Slytherin: Hey I’m looking for Ravenclaw.
Gryffindor:...I don’t know who Ravenclaw is-
Ravenclaw: That’s me. Hey Slytherin!
Gryffindor:
Slytherin: Hey man, what’s up?
Ravenclaw: Just hanging out.
House Vines
Hufflepuff: I eat Cheerios because they’re heart healthy...and my heart is severely damaged.
Hufflepuff:...
Hufflepuff: So Slytherin if you’re out there-
House Vines
Slytherin: *looking up* Yeah, so he broke up with me.
Ravenclaw: Why are you looking up?
Slytherin: I NeEd TO CrY, But mY FOunDaTIon coSTeD 48 DOLLARS!
House Vines
Ravenclaw: *holds up hermonica* You play it, you get 100 million dollars, but a 100 million people will die.
Slytherin: *plays hermonica aggressively*
Hufflepuff: Slytherin No!
House vines
Hufflepuff: Hey, can everybody leave the kitchen while I get my fourth pudding cup?
Slytherin, Ravenclaw, and Gryffindor:...
Hufflepuff: *a little quieter* I just don’t want you guys to know I’ve...had four pudding cups...
House Shenanigans
Gryffindor: Oh shut up, you know you love me.
Slytherin:
House Shenanigans
Gryffindor: *stands .0001 millimeters outside of Slytherin common room entryway*
Slytherin: *looks up from couch* Get out of my room!
Gryffindor: *smiles smugly* I’m not in your room~
Slytherin:
Gryffindor:
Slytherin: Do you have a death wish?