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Harley Keener - Blog Posts
Hehe 😉
Harley: Why are any of us here, really?
Zoo Employee: I’m asking you, specifically.
Avengers play Cards Against Humanity
Since the last one was well received here's part two
Black Card: You know who else liked ______? Hitler.
Loki: Eradicating the jews
Steve: Mass Genocide
Peter: Veganism
Hope: Nazis
Scott: Bees
Natasha: White privilege
Clint: Chunks of dead backpacker
Harley: Daniel Radcliffe's delectable arsehole
Shuri: Praying the gay away
T'challa: Restoring Germany to it's former glory
Tony: A reason not to commit suicide
Bruce: Auschwitz
Sam: God
Bucky: Poorly timed holocaust jokes
Pepper: Seeing things from Hitler's perspective
Rhodey: Suicidal thoughts
Thor: Vikings
Wanda: It's hard to decide... "You know who else liked veganism? Hitler" is my favourite. Peter wins.
Do you guys want to chose the winners? And yes, there are going to be more of these cards against humanity. Send me other people you want to play too.
Avengers play Cards Against Humanity
Black Card: _____ that's how I want to die
Tony: Alcoholism
Steve: Doing the right thing
Peter: Vigilante justice
Natasha: Pretending to be one of the guys but actually being the spider god
Bruce: Science
Clint: The biggest blackest dick
Thor: Powerful thighs
Harley: Poor life choices
Scott: A fully dressed female video game character
Shuri: The entire internet
Hope: Multiple stab wounds
Bucky: The Great Depression
Sam: A perfectly cylindrical vagina
T'challa: Depression
Pepper: Dying
Rhodey: Being black
Wanda: Being a motherfucking sorcerer
Loki as Czar: '...Being a motherfucking sorcerer, that's how I want to die.'... Preach.
Tony, at Pepper : You're my significant other.
Pepper : Yeah I am.
Tony, at Friday : You're my child.
Friday : Yes boss.
Tony, at Stephen : You're my bitch.
Stephen : Yeah I am- wait, what?
Tony, at Rhodey : My bestie.
Rhodey : Naturally.
Tony, Harley : HA, GAY!
Harley : Fuck you.
*after the Family has been separated for a few years*
Friday : So what have you been up to recently?
Pepper : Leading a revolution with Peter.
Harley : Good for you two! Me, I've joined the mob.
America : *nods* Oh, how cool! That's awesome!
Harley : I know! Anyway, have you heard from the others? Rhodey?
Christine : Happily living as a hermit in the woods. Tony?
Stephen : Wrongfully locked up in an asylum, which reminds me, we need to break him out later. Jarvis?
Peter : Cult leader.
Friday : Yeah, that sounds about right.
the parkner anthem is back in black by acdc and no i don’t take critisism
ok, hear me out. I’m thinking of writing a Love, Simon kind of thing, but with Parkner. I can imagine it really well, but would it be good?
daily dose of irondad part 10!
it’s not really that irondad but it’s been sitting in my camera roll for a long time since I made it
*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’*
MJ: Thanks fam!
Harley: Oh no.
Peter: *cries* I love you too.
Ned: Sounds fake, but okay.
Y/N: *A flustered mess*
Shuri: Can I get a refund?
Stephen: what vegetables do you want for dinner tonight?
Harley: Tomato
Peter: haha well Tomato's a fruit so-
Harley: I hate to break this to you but- nothing's a vegetable. Vegetable is just a term that means you can eat it. In botany, nothing's a vegetable. So yeah, a tomato's a berry, but a carrot is just a root. A- and potato's just a tuber. And like- cucumber is just a melon.
Harley: Melons are fruits, in other ways. You're not going to put it in your fruit salad, though. You're not going to put tomato in your fruit salad.
Peter:
Harley: broccoli? broccoli's a fucking flower, dude. We're eating a flower when we eat broccoli.
Peter:
Harley: Kale is just a leaf. So is lettuce.
Peter:
Harley: nothing's a vegetable. vegetables don't exist.
[ Someone says something 15/18+ ]
Steve: The children are here.
Kate: I'm twenty-fucking-three.
Wanda: I'm russian.
Tony: Peter is from Queens.
Peter: I've got nothing to say abt that.
Harley: I'm much worse then all of you.
Wade: You're not counting me as a child anymore.
Clint: Why the hell we adopted them?
Kate: *blink blink*
Clint: Oh yeah, nevermind.
Bonus
Sam: I thought the hawk girl is like, twelve.
Bucky: How they all ended up here?
Natasha: Since when there's so many kids?
Just finished reading Regret, Recovery, Redemption by teaspoonbooks27
Link
Warning for Rap/Non-Con mentions
12 years ago Tony decided he couldn't be a father. Years pass and Tony learns that he actually is a half decent dad. So when he finds his first son living in squalor in Queens, taking him home seems like the best option, but just as Tony has changed and grown up, Peter has too.
the Continued Awkwardness of being an official "Non-Avenger" Avenger by Anti_Social_Headphones_Kid
Spidey's gotten closer to the Avengers ever since they've returned, and everything seems to be going smooth- his identity is still safe, and he's friends with the Avengers- it couldn't get any better then that, right?
The Avengers on the other hand, have started to love having the Spider around- but their opinions on his identity are getting confusing, to say the least
Peter Parker: “You question how much I love potatoes”
Harley Keener: “Potatoes are nasty”
Peter: “...how DARE YOU”