Latest Posts by strugglingasahuman - Page 2

Seriously... this is just SUPER COOL! Bravo gentlemen. Bravo indeed. hahaha

Pain....

Pain is interesting. It makes people do strange things. It can make folks weird, angry, sad, and many other things. Just like any "animal" when someone is in pain, they may do things, or say things, they wouldn't say if they weren't hurting. What makes it more interesting is that you can't see... pain. You can't look at someone and always know for sure if they are hurting. You can read their angry posts or texts, grumble at their complete avoidance of activities, or wonder what is wrong with them when they deal with their pain by being utterly goofy but you can't always SEE... pain. Just a fun fact to share. Something to think about when someone acts a bit gruff or gives you a dirty look in passing. Might not have anything to do with you. Might have a lot to do with pain... plain and simple. Just sayin.

I am not a ghost.

I don't have a job. I have always had a hard time making money. I will not show you my tits or do sexually charged things with you. I won't constantly stroke your ego. I can't connect you to anyone "important". I won't agree with everything you say or do. I won't laugh at stupidity with you. I don't think life is always easy nor do I feel that easy is always the best idea. No, I won't make sure to maintain a certain "appearance", I don't even wear make-up. While I do understand that money is a "need", waving your net worth at me will not impress me. I strongly believe in effort, learning, and making constant adjustments. I have often put a lot of energy into helping others but I have finally also accepted that I deserve acknowledgement and help as well.

I know. I understand. More than one human has explained that I am simply being too difficult and that's why I can't connect. I get it BUT, I also understand that I'm not invisible. Just because I am not one to conform to common behavior patterns does not mean that I deserve to be treated like I am even less noticeable than the homeless person you happily see as either a problem, or a way to feel better about yourself by donating to the charity case. I am very much alive. I too have feelings. I... am not a monster... or a ghost! I am simply different. I don't want to be medicated or changed so I can be more "normal". I just want to be me, and be accepted as human. Yes, I know... good luck with that. Humans can't even seem to get beyond skin color so why would I expect my list of differences to be accepted? meh... A girl can dream.

Just a couple of today's pretties.

Now THAT looks like a baseball game I would pay to watch but it is nice to know I can watch it on YouTube. Thank you "60 Minutes" for introducing me to it.

Cutie… patootie... agouti? You might know the capybara, but what about its distant cousin the red-rumped agouti (Dasyprocta leporina)? This wide-ranging mammal can be found in forests throughout northern South America including Colombia, Brazil, and Venezuela. Though smaller than its more famous relative, this hefty rodent can weigh up to 13 lbs (5.9 kg). It dines on a diet of fruit, nuts, and seeds. Like a squirrel, the agouti will bury surplus food to save for a later date. But sometimes this critter forgets to come back for its stash, spreading seeds throughout its habitat as a result. 

Photo: Robin Gwen Agarwal, CC BY-NC 4.0, iNaturalist 

Obviously I don't own this picture so credit goes to the creators of the show but I HAD to share because ...... hahahaha I've often enjoyed torturing people with the song but I had NO IDEA they also had a cartoon. Yes... I'm that weird adult that has been letting this play in the background while I do chores since realizing it exists. hahahaha And should you be another weird adult... or just someone seeking fun options for a kiddo, I found the show on the Roku kids and family streaming option. You're welcome. hahahahaha

We live in a world of options. I don't always understand those options but, we definitely live in a world full of them. Here are a couple of today's rather entertaining .... options.

hahaha Okay... I grumbled.. now for the more uplifting stuff. Grumble, complain... then feed the mind and body with healthy happy using some fresh bananas and blueberries in some blueberry banana Cheerios. Cool, refreshing, and healthy.

This... is part of why I get so uncomfortable sometimes. I have always tried, painfully so, to be a positive person. But, I am finding it harder and harder with time to be... positive. Why? The poor behavior that can be found close, out and about, and pretty much EVERYWHERE online, that's why. I mean seriously, the fact that signs like this are even needed is a display of the kind of behavior that makes it hard some days to brush it off and smile. I know it has become the norm to allow your electronics to think for you but dang folks... seriously? From where I'm sitting, we're all doomed but, I still do try... to be a positive person and at least not abundantly feed the ugly, nasty, YUCK that seems to be EVERYWHERE at this point. -sigh-- Okay, I'm done now.

The many faces of loss

I always get so grumbly with humans that think loss is a simple thing. A death, job change, relationship end, and many other forms of loss can have lasting, and often hidden (even to the one dealing with it) effects. So many people focus on the short term handling of the loss, or the lingering obvious issues and seem to think they know how the person should or shouldn't be acting. It's complete ridiculousness. NOBODY has ANY right to tell ANYONE how they should feel, or how the loss impacts them in their own realities. EVERY SINGLE CREATURE deals with each loss in their own ways. Some of the effects can be dealt with quickly and easily, some make permanent changes and will never be fully understood. NEVER.... EVER... let ANYONE tell you that you are somehow broken, or messed up, for how a loss impacts your own thoughts. Those who are trying to help will usually offer support, reassurance, patience, and space. If the person you think is there to help is pressuring you, making you feel like something is wrong with you, or is irritated by how things are effecting you... they are clearly NOT as helpful as they want to believe they are. If someone doesn't understand and is a bit inconvenienced because of your handling of a loss, that... is completely understandable... BUT... if they allow that to become an attitude towards you... THEY are the ones with a problem... NOT YOU! This human experience does not come with complete and foolproof instructions. We each have to figure things out in our own ways, no matter how many others try to tell us they have all the answers. So, if you're out there, and you're dealing with something, and you're feeling a bit beaten.... just remember.... you got this. There are those of us out there that understand it's complicated, it takes time, and USUALLY it's a lot more messy than anyone cares to admit. Just keep picking at it. You'll get where you need to be with it, if you really want to. Believe. ... Much love.

That's neat. Hovering over the name makes it do the metallic rainbowy thing which reminds me of those metallic stickers that were so popular in my younger years. Does it do that on the phone app or is it just for the website? hahaha hmmm Now I'm wondering if they still sell stickers like that? pssh I'm sure they do. Google time! :-)

While I do understand the message they are trying to express, I could not help but giggle as my toddler brain went.... since when did being in a wheelchair become a gender??

And yes, I am aware of how bothered some humans are by signs like this but, because of that very mentality, I appreciate that more places are offering... safe spaces... to perform bodily functions. Bad human behavior comes in all types of packages. Making someone feel unsafe, or unwelcome simply because of their personal (not dangerous to anyone else) lifestyle decisions is not a very nice thing so yes... I fully support spaces like this and the businesses that have them.

Okay so, as I pay more attention I realize that humans seem to like seeing their food online. While I'm not entirely sure how many enjoy viewing the food of others I figured I would go ahead and play along so... here ya go. The current meal includes eggs, potato, tomato, carrot, celery, and a sausage, with a light dusting of a salt/pepper/garlic seasoning blend, cooked with a little bit of palm oil in a frying pan. Ooooh. Aaaaah. Yes, it was very much tasty. Yes, this is a common cooking style for me. And no, I will not be sad if I don't get paycheck level likes on my food photo. Okay, I'm done. Enjoy.

Show me.

I have had "friends", lovers, family, and more prove MANY times over how easy it is to say whatever the person thinks you want to hear but proving that their words are true... well, that's a whole different story. I've seen the attitudes as lies are defended. I've watched the lies change and shift depending on the moment. What I haven't really seen is people being honest, true, and open. So yeah, at this point... if you want me to believe.... show me.

RAWR!

I hope all you humans are having some fun today. Me? Oh, I got to do a yard chore that required the use of a sledgehammer so yes... I am doing quite well today. When one can use a sledgehammer to be productive, it's good mental and physical health... as long as you don't hit yourself that is. hahaha

Confused.

Humans make no sense to me. They destroy everything, including each other and seem to think it's okay. It's like people believe life isn't supposed to be annoying so when it is, they find ways to get a "feel good" no matter who, or what, it hurts. It creates chaos that doesn't need to exist, which ends up being more fuel for people to behave poorly in search of that "feel good". The trail of damage left behind is disgusting and yet, it's like nobody actually understands that, or cares. It really does seem to be all about easy "feel good" even when that only adds to the problems. meh Maybe I'm just missing something but then again, I did label this "strugglingasahuman" so... clearly there is a LOT I "miss". hahaha

“Do more things that make you forget to check your phone.”

— Unknown

DANGER PLANTS!

As everything poofs back into life I am reminded of the battle I had in "my" little piece of the planet. When people speak of poisonous plants... I often heard about giant hogweed and parsnip. What I encountered was a plant that didn't quite fit those descriptions but packed more of a punch than either ever has for me. That plant was hemlock. Now I know.... giant hogweed, parsnip, and most definitely hemlock.... AVOID AT ALL COSTS! If you find them in your yard or somewhere you need to clear... COVER EVERYTHING. Mask, goggles, long sleeves, full pants... gloves, the works. Those plants are seriously NO JOKE. I was lucky and only had a rash on my arm but I won't lie, it was not a nice one, and it stuck around much longer than expected. That was from what seemed like a very quick bump when putting it in the bag to go out. With more research I've learned what all three are capable of and honestly... I don't plan to take ANY chances should they pop up again. I'll be covered head to toe and I'll be burning whatever bits of the base I can't dig out. NOT FUN!

One of the perks of being an adult with no friends is that the liquor shelf can be an unpopular collection and nobody will complain. :-)

Just like those wrinkles, stretch marks, and gray hairs. Own them... you earned them!

"Your scars are proof of your survival."

Real human love. I have seen a lot of folks struggle due to the possibilities in AI art. I understand the work that goes into it but, I also understand the damage it does in other areas of human life. Me personally, I will always aim to support non AI art. Not hatin, just tryin to keep the non computer options alive and well.

Pulled in to the parking garage.... giggled when I saw the creeper van. Pulled up next to it then decided nope, I'm parking directly across from it. Once I did, I had to admit... I wasn't sure if I should fear the driver, or pet the van. hahahaha Kinda cute for a creeper van. hahaha .... To be clear.. no scary driver appeared and no, I did not pet the van. lol

One shot.

There are things in life that you get one chance at. Whether you miss that shot, mess it up, remember it differently with time, or look back and smile, some things.... only offer themselves... ONCE. That first kiss, a first impression, a final we love you, or a visit to let someone know in person that the moment matters. Sometimes, that once in a lifetime moment is especially impactful because of the challenges that come with it. Thing is, when you look back at those moments, and have to face that you missed them, because it was ... difficult... will you be okay with the changes that came with that choice? If you take the chance and it doesn't go quite as hoped, will you at least find comfort in knowing you tried? Whatever your thoughts, just remember, not all once in a lifetime shots, come with a full color brochure. Sometimes, those moments head your way with a subtle smile, a twisted conversation, and even silent heartache. Pay attention, and notice the little things because well... they might be the only sign you get before one of those life changing "one shot" moments.

I don't have a clue how any of this works yet but I'm learning. I could no longer tolerate FB, or any of the other popular social media sites but I want SOMETHING so I'm here. So far it looks interesting so hopefully, this will be the mood lifting inspiration I needed.