I Was Learning DaVinci Resolve Today But Ended Up Working On The Next YouTube Video With CapCut, Because

Very hard researching for the Theater science paper writing about VANYA when Andrew Scott is just there. Just putting out all this characters by himself. Let them flirt, make love, suffer. Sometimes two people cannot act out the chemistry between two characters and somehow Scott manages to play chemistry between the characters all by himself. Live. On stage. Uff..😮‍💨 (in my opinion, VANYA is not good as a Chekhov piece, but it’s genius as Andrew Scott’s one man show, just like Akbar from The Guardian said in her Review)

Review: Anarchism: Arguments for and Against (by Albert Meltzer)

Very tiny book, less than 100 pages. But quite easy to understand for someone who reads stuff in english besides social media content. I did not know some words and there are definitely some things I need to do research on because I did not complitely understood how smth is ment. But it’s a book full of short answers, which in itself is a great concept. If someone needs/wants to dive deeper they can, but if they don’t want/cannot afford it atm they will have some closer to reality picture of anarchism and how a lot of things that are called anarchism actually are none. I am planing to read some things by Black authors on topic of abolition, but this was definitely helpful to find some ground from which I can move forward.

The book is older and it has no mention of genderqueer people (though it has mention of what’s usually called sexual minorities). I did not see anything about Disability as well.

New Video On Youtube

I was writing my theater science assignment and thought, why not use the time? Also, learned a lot of new stuff on DaVinci and CapCut for this video.

Finally re-doing my altar after so many months not getting to it. I miss praying. Sure, nobody needs anything to pray, but last months were very stressful and now finally it becomes easier, so, it’s time to reconnect again. Religion is beautiful when not abused.

My second ever youtube video, which is already so much better than the first one was! So proud of myself, ngl.

https://app.thestorygraph.com/profile/elfi_reads

My storygraph Account✨ it’s created by a Black cis woman (hope it’s true) and should be better than good reads. I really enjoy that people can submit trigger warnings and also upload their books themselves.

Just started Shadow And Bone. I watched some of it via Netflix adaptation, but once I have found out that there is a book I did not want to finish watching. Also, I remember very little if the story, so I almost get to know the characters for the first time.

On topic of books: did you know, that “Breakfast at Tiffanys” is actually about a sexworker? (Idk do we censore those words here?)

It’s so funny to me when some stores have the “there is a Holly Gollightly in every woman” edition of the book with Audrey Hepburn on the cover… I don’t think whoever made this read the actual book. Because no way they mean it because they are sexworkers affirming.

Either ways I will need to read the original one day, but I have some more urgent books to go through first.

Review: Siege and Storm (Leigh Bardugo)

Very intense in my opinion. A lot of new characters, drama, you can feel how lonely and tired the main characters are, it’s great written. Also with more funny sentences because they break the intense atmosphere easier. You know, because the story is SO intense. More diverse Charakters, but I misunderstood some reviews about queer folx being in the story I guess… I have some guesses but I feel like I see queer Charakters just because I want them to be queer, not because they might be. Looking forward for the third book of the trilogy, but will read something else first because yeah. Intense.

In the Summer 2023 I started my jurney of ✨re-wiring my brain ✨ to learn again how to read, how to draw, how to write. How to LET MYSELF do those things. I had a huge blockage in my head for many years due to reasons. You know, trauma alters brains. Also, when you work through Traumata or masking or similar, you might “delete” some connections which leads to #skillregression. Skill regression is a real thing, look it up. And we can sometimes alter it as well by re-learning, by creating new connection. Also, learn something that was “lost” to skill regression. I wish people would research it more, it actually could help so many folx to be able to do things without suffering or do things in general.

So, anyways, since summer 2023 I have been trying to teach myself to read again. I could only read scientific stuff and stuff for my uni (not always, but sometimes) and never finish anything, it was super duber hard labour, my anxiety was yelling and I was trying to concentrate on words in a text while being screamed at by different parts of my brain the whole time. Very tiring. But yeah, it worked, I can sit down and read when the brain fog is not very strong and on some days I can read the whole book in one sitting. Or two books, depending on the size.

So, I just wanted to say, that since then (summer 2023) untill now (March 2025) I have read 38 books of different nature. Sure, some people read 52-60 books a year, but I am not some people. I have issues :) and my Disability is disabiliting 24/7, sometimes more sometimes less. So, I am super proud of myself. I did not believe that it was possible, but it worked. And there is a loooong way to go to learn doing other mostly fun things without feeling like I actually went through an underground passage where everyone is crying, screaming and yelling in fear and despair. That’s how reading felt like 2023 and beginning oh 2024..

(In the last pictures are not the books i‘ve read but I did finished most of them)