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moonsus‌:

“this song is for… my boyfriend. the light of my life. he brightens every gloomy, rainy day of my life with just his smile - and gives me near sunburns when he talks, but it’s okay - i like it,” he stated over dramatically on the small stage of the bar he had begged kian to go with him to. he was leaning past tipsy and much closer to drunk, now. that was clear by how loud he was being, the mic practically unnecessary for the volume of his voice as he spent the next minute proclaiming his love until they force-started the music. he took on singing the very cheesy song ‘i chose right’ from the musical baby. he personally felt like the words perfectly represented his own feelings in their relationship, so much so that his heart felt full of admiration for kian by the end of the song. once it was over, he eagerly made his way off the stage and back over to kian, cupping the boy’s face in his hands and pulling him into a kiss. “okay, all of that is out of the way. i will not be that gross for the rest of the night. i swear. it’s all out of my system.” which sounded like a lie, but for the time being he was attempting to stay true to his word. “are you having fun?” it was followed with moonsu reaching up to tap kian’s nose, letting out a laugh as he did. that was all he really cared about, at the end of the day, and he made it obvious that it was. as long as kian was having a good time, moonsu was, too. he let kian completely dictate his emotions without even considering that it could ever be a bad thing to give him so much control. // @kians

most people would be embarrassed about the situation going down with their significant other, he figures. but not kian. he relishes in the attention and something sort of blooms in his chest at the admiration dripping from moonsu’s words. placing an elbow on the table, he props his chin up on his hand, and smiles at his boyfriend the whole time. he never once takes his eyes off of him. man, he’s really going to hate it when he has to let this one go. “what if i want you to be gross though?” he pouts, grabbing the hand that taps his nose and holding it with a certain fondness in his eyes. he hates to be his biggest fan but, damn, he’s really gotten good at all of this. he barely has to try. “i always have fun when i’m with you.” he states, his smile broadening. and, for once, something that comes out of his mouth isn’t a lie. he really does have fun with moonsu because the boy gives him everything he wants. the only downside to playing up this whole persona is that when they come to bars together, kian can’t just whip out his fake i.d. and get a drink because he’s suppose to be a nice boy who doesn’t do things like that; he’s suppose to play by the book. “it’s kinda loud in here though.” he admits. annoying, is more like it. he hates being around drunk people when he can’t get shitfaced himself. god, he’d love a beer right now. “maybe we could—” he trails off, chewing on his bottom lip, “go somewhere a little more private? quiet?”

seojvns‌:

“i wouldn’t wanna share such a special moment when anyone else,” he teases, but despite the playfulness in his tone, he means it. whenever kian gave seojun any bit of his attention, it felt like a privilege, and he never knew how long it’d last. he assumed that’s why kian left for days at a time. out of boredom. “must be,” he responds with a grin, listening to his words as he continued, agreeing with each word that he said. “i feel bad for the people who choose to let it stop them,” he mumbles in response, thankful that he’s not one of them. “do you ever think you’ll fall in love? like the kind of love that’s in movies?” he questions, the childish question leaving his lips before he can even think about stopping himself. “it’s just,” he feels his cheeks warm, “sometimes i wonder if it’s all made up, or if there really is love like that out there. it’s stupid, i know, but,” and now that he’s started rambling he can’t seem to stop, “i’m really afraid that i’m gonna be alone forever.” his voice is soft, his words barely above a whisper. he shifts a bit when kian questions him. “i don’t know,” he scrunches his nose, “i guess if it were late, like it is now, and no one was around…” he muses, but he shakes his head slightly. “seems risky though,” and if there was anything jun hated, it was getting in trouble. “umm,” he takes a moment to think about it before answering, “probably in a bathroom at a party?  maybe? i’m not… a very adventurous person… in that way…” his words are slow and sheepish. “but, uh, what about you? i bet you have lots of crazy places.”

kian smiles at seojun as he speaks, giving him his undivided attention. “i’m so glad we’re roommates.” he voices. “i really thought i’d end up getting stuck with someone awful, but i got lucky. more than lucky.” he says. but something sort of shifts in the air when the boy asks him about love. kian doesn’t believe in love because it’s never existed in his life and he doesn’t think it ever will. but he can’t just throw out that kind of pessimism when seojun believes him to be this optimistic, nice boy. so, as always, he just tells him what he knows he wants to hear deep down. “yeah, of course.” he whispers with a nod. “maybe it’s childish to believe in such a thing, but i do. i can’t help it.” he explains, reaching over to take seojun’s hand in his own. he gives it a gentle squeeze, sending him a soft look despite the fact that he probably can’t see it. “you don’t need to worry about being alone forever, junnie.” he assures him. “you’re amazing, truly. anyone should be honored to be with you. i mean, you’re funny, nice, cute, compassionate, attentive— you literally have all the qualities that those boys in those romantic films have. except, you know, you’re actually real.” he smiles, giving the other’s hand another gentle squeeze. he lets out a breath through his nose, rolling his eyes playfully, as he pokes seojun in the side. “that’s why it’s fun. because it’s risky.” he points out. “bathroom at a party, huh? how very nineties.” he teases. “actually, i don’t.” he lies, averting his eyes as if he were embarrassed. “i’ve spent my whole life playing it safe. guess it’s hard to get out of that.”

seojvns‌:

“well,” he begins in defense, because he’s not the camping type at all, “i’ve never been. it’s one of those bucket list kind of ideas that i’ve always wanted to do but just haven’t gotten around to?” he tries to explain. the thought of camping with his own parents is enough to make him physically cringe, but as soon as kian mentions the idea of camping with him being an eight out of ten, the smitten expression that’s usually on his face when jun’s with him reappears. “like a horror movie?” he questions, eyes widening at the thought as kian explains exactly why they’d never make it out of the woods alive. “i’m not into girls,” he protests, before correcting himself, “i mean, i am, just not exclusively. i like everyone,” and after the briefest pause he’s explaining himself again, “not, like, everyone, just,” he huffs in frustration, feeling flustered. “i like boys and girls,” he says after letting out a breath, “and i don’t have a double life,” he adds with another huff. “the thought of me doing anything on this table is…” he laughs nervously, “really ridiculous. i’d never,” but never’s a strong word and he’s a weak boy - so to say never was probably a lie, even if he didn’t necessarily realize it. 

“no worries, junnie.” he says, features stretching into a grin, “i’ll take your camping virginity.” and he leaves it at that, turning another page, and pretending like he’s at all interested in what the words say. “must be why we get along so well.” he says, nonchalantly. “i also like everyone. gender doesn’t mean shit to me, kinda stupid when you think about it, you know? like— if you’re lucky enough to find someone who you really dig and who digs you back then why would you let something so trivial stop you? imagine falling in love, but you’re so caught up in the person being the same sex as you that you throw it all away, only to lead a miserable life.” he shakes his head, thumbing at the corner of the page. “what do you mean never?” he questions, head lolling to the side to look at him again. “it’d be fun. i mean, it’s already sort of an adrenaline rush being here when we’re not suppose to so think about what it’d be like to fuck someone in a place that you’re not suppose to. every time you’d step foot into the library, it’s like you’d have your own little secret. i bet people have fucked in here before.” he says, suddenly turning on his side again, the book completely forgotten. “i have a question.” he states. “where is the craziest place you’ve ever hooked up with someone?”

seojvns‌:

when kian scoots closer, jun can feel the nervousness seep in. not in a sense that he’s genuinely nervous - as his roommate, he probably knows jun in a way most don’t. instead, it’s the kind of nervousness that leaves jun feeling a little lightheaded, and he shifts a bit closer anyway. wanting to see the pages was an excuse, but not the reason. “i’d like that,” he says, his tone soft as he considered the thought, and he was naive enough to think it was a genuine possibility. it’s difficult for him to concentrate on planning anything, in all honesty, and planning has never been a strength of jun’s to begin with. he keeps stealing glances at kian when he should be looking at the pages, but his focus keeps slipping. he laughs softly when kian knocks his feet into jun’s, and again once he complains about the quiet. “if you didn’t want quiet, this is the worst place you could’ve picked,” he teases. he barely notices that the page turns, his attention on kian almost entirely now. as soon as he considers jun, and what he wants, he’s thrown off. “oh, uh…” it’s almost as though he’s not asked about what he wants very often. “i think camping would be fun,” he answers, on his side now as he faces kian. “just… getting lost in the woods somewhere,” he adds with a sheepish smile. 

“camping?” he quirks a brow, genuinely interested. “i didn’t take you for the camping type.” he admits, propping his head up with his elbow. “it’s really not all that fun, but the company makes it better. see, camping with my family? worst possible decision. a fat zero out of ten. but, camping with you? definitely somewhere like an eight out of ten.” he teases with a smile. even though it’s almost completely dark aside from the flashlight, kian’s eyes have adjusted and, even through it, he can make out the planes of seojun’s face. “sounds like the setup to an extremely cliche horror movie.” he points out. “one that we wouldn’t survive because, one—” he holds up a finger, “we’re not white. and, two—” he holds up another, “we’re not straight. those would both get us axed in the first ten minutes.” he explains, a certain glint in his eye that’s hidden by the darkness. “or, well, i guess i can only speak for myself. maybe you’re exclusively into girls. i dunno.” he shrugs, settling onto his back again as he reopens the book. “for all i know, you could be living a double life; fucking girls right here on this table in the library.” he says, breathing a light laugh through his nose.

seojvns‌:

just trust me, kian whispers, and seojun does. he trusts him too deeply, willing to follow him anywhere without questioning a thing. he doesn’t voice it, but he’s nervous. even though he knows there’s no one around, he can’t help but glance as kian fiddles with the lock, his heart racing with anticipation and the fear that maybe they will get caught. doing something that felt wrong wasn’t a strong suit of his, but going along with things was. as soon as he was being ushered in first, seojun took the lead, his footsteps cautious as he entered. “you want to get some last minute studying in before we go?” seojun questions in a whisper, a brow raising as he kept his eyes on kian. “yeah, um, it’s kind of the point of a library, to let anyone come whenever they want,” he teases, a slight smile still on his lips.

“yeah,” he breathes in response, and he gets it. the thrill of being there after hours. there’s something ominous about the darkness though, something that leaves seojun unsettled. he watches, but he doesn’t touch anything - mostly because he’s afraid to make too much noise, on the off chance there’s a campus security guard somewhere nearby. it’s unlikely, but his worries get the best of him. he stares, instead of helping, as kian pushes two tables together. as soon as he’s telling jun to come, he obeys, climbing on top as well and lays beside him. “is there something you’ve always wanted to do? or somewhere you’ve wanted to see?” he questions, holding up the flashlight to shine on the book so they can plan their getaway. 

“mhm.” he hums in reply, scooting closer to seojun so the other boy can see the pages as well. “but, since this is a short trip, we won’t be able to do all the things i want. maybe some other time though.” he smiles. “like over the summer or something.” he suggests, flipping the page. his eyes scan the words and look over the pictures, but nothing is really standing out to him. he begins moving his feet back and forth, knocking against seojun’s in impatience, but his face doesn’t read the same. “god, it’s so quiet in here.” he comments. “and, yeah, i do realize how ironic that is considering we’re in a library.” he laughs lightly. he sees a few places close by that catch his eye so he mentally makes note of them before turning the page again. it’s probably rude to do so without asking his roommate because he’s more than likely looking as well, but kian’s selfishness extends to all things. “what about you?” he asks suddenly, flipping around so he’s laying on his stomach. he lets the book close, keeping his place with a finger, as he rests his chin on seojun’s chest. “something you wanna do? somewhere you wanna go?”

☆ — who : @seojvns ☆ — when : february of 2019 ☆ — where : the campus library

“just trust me.” kian whispers, placing the flashlight between his teeth. he shifts his weight from one leg to the other in his crouched position and continues moving the bobby pin around in the lock. it’s not the best tool but, when he hears the faint click, he relishes in the fact that it gets the job done. standing to his full height, he plucks the flashlight from his lips and smiles. “after you.” he says, ushering his roommate inside. it seems kind of dumb, and probably confusing, to be breaking into a place that’s open all the time, but he has his reasons. “i figured, before we set out on our little mini road trip, that we could come here first. and, before you say anything—” he cuts in, making the trek through each of the aisles separating the different shelves, “i know i can technically come here whenever i want.” he says, finally stopping to grab a book.

“but it’s always so busy, it’s frustrating. plus, it’s kinda cool being somewhere you’re not supposed to be, yeah?” he quirks a brow, a small smile on his face that he isn’t sure seojun can even make out in the dark. tucking the book under his arm, kian steps around the corner and begins pushing two of the tables together. once he’s satisfied, he climbs on top of them and lays down on his back. “come.” he instructs, patting the space next to him. “let’s find some shit to do, places to go.” he says as he opens the travel book in his hands. “need you to hold the flashlight for me.” he says, turning his own off.

dashicns‌:

━ ❛ @kians

if there was someone who understood dashi like no other it was definitely kian, they both went through some traumatic stuff as kids but somehow came out of it kicking and screaming. the first time he met kian he just knew something was off with the boy; his smile was a little too bright and his eyes a little too vacant for dashi to believe any of the sweet words that were coming out of his mouth. he knew what it was like to bottle up everything inside and not let anyone ever see a peak of what’s truly inside and to have someone who related to that felt a little good. “kiaaaaaaaan!” dashi screamed as he burst into the others room with his baggie and drinks. they didn’t plan to meet up but the boy needed a break from life and kian provided that. they got to let go and truly be their true selves around each other and it was a nice for a change.

boredom is the bane of kian’s existence; he’s lucky that he doesn’t have to deal with it often. but today is one of the few times that he just has nothing to do. everyone is either busy with classes or work and he’s annoyed because he doesn’t take precedent over any of that. it’s unfair. so, instead of actually doing something productive, he’s pouting in bed; alone. he might as well be watching the paint on his walls peel. fuck it, he thinks, as he reaches down to unbutton his jeans. he can at least jerk off and enjoy a little pleasure to pass the time. but he doesn’t even get to do that before his bedroom door is being thrown open and his name is being yelled out in a deep baritone. he would know who it was from a mile away.

“god, dashi. don’t you ever knock?” he berates, though he doesn’t actually care. he’s thankful for the distraction, for the company. “i was literally about two seconds away from sticking my hand down my pants.” he states, jumping up from his position and snatching the baggy from dashi’s hands. “what’d you bring?” he questions, looking over at the drinks that he’s carrying as well. he already feels more relaxed just in the other’s presence. it’s nice to not have to be anyone but himself, but it’s something that doesn’t happen often. in fact, it exclusively happens around dashian. it almost feels like a breath of fresh air, like he’s finally been saved from drowning. “and please, for the love of god, tell me you don’t have any plans for today. i’m on my deathbed out here.”

anvya‌:

annya finishes her handful of popcorn before answering his question, “i really love clue, it was my favorite. my dad would always win but he taught me his strategies and one time i actually guessed it on, like, the third round and my mom refused to play that game for a solid month.” she couldn’t help but laugh at the memories, soon longing to be back home and spend a whole day playing games and be around her parents. her life may have started off rough but she got lucky in the end to find people who finally cared about her. “i’ll have to make you play with me one day,” she smiles as her fingers trace through his hair before settling on his neck. to bring kian into a tradition she held so dear to her, she couldn’t help but grow a little excited with the idea. what if he came to meet her parents one day, and they got along so well, and soon he was invited to all the game nights and everything was just…perfect. “unless, uh, that’s too childish, of course. probably sounds lame,” she tries to wave it off with a laugh before reaching back for a few more bites of popcorn.

his next statement makes her raise an eyebrow before shaking her head, “you’re not boring at all. if anything, my picture is probably right next to the word boring in the dictionary.” maybe it was her own fault for feeling that way in the first place. there were plenty of times she could have gone out, hit up some random party and gained some regrettable experience, but at least it would be something. she chose to stay in her room and work on her designs, follow the rules and only hear about such experiences through the gossip vine at school. she’s pulled away from her thoughts one more, a horrible habit she does quite often, as kian peppers her with kisses that causes her smile to grow far too wide, soon happily kissing him back. this time, however, she pulls him back in, letting their lips collide for a little bit longer and a little bit stronger. there was no denying how kissing him always made swarm of butterflies fill her stomach, his lips almost like poison that she simply couldn’t get enough of. but soon she’s pulling away because maybe she was coming off too strong too fast… “can i ask you a stupid question?”

something akin to fondness tugs at the remnants of his heart when annya talks about spending time with her family and he vaguely wonders if his eyes ever light up like hers do. he wonders if there’s anything he’ll ever love that much. he finds that his body easily relaxes into her little touches though and he doesn’t even have to force a smile of adoration onto his face as he listens to her speak. maybe there is hope for him after all, he thinks. his brows nearly shoot into his hairline at her suggestion and he’s sort of taken aback. he’s been invited to family dinners before from many other partners, but he’s never once considered it. not until now. his features must betray him in that moment, conveying the fear that he feels, because annya is soon backtracking; she’s soon looking completely unsure of herself. and he hates it. “no, no—” he shakes his head, “not at all. it’s not lame or childish.” he assures her with a light laugh. he’s honored, in fact, but he knows that annya’s family would hate him. the real him, that is. but, then, he soon realizes that he’s jumping the gun and getting worked up over nothing. she’s inviting him to play with her, not her family. he deflates.

he quickly composes himself though (it’s what he’s good at) and beams at her. “if it means anything at all, you’re probably the most interesting person i’ve ever met.” he states. “you’re, dare i say, not like other girls.” he teases, smiling into their kiss. he isn’t one to let anyone truly take the reigns when it comes to his relationships, but he lets her. she moves at her own pace and when she deepens their kiss, he reciprocates happily. he’s debating in his head whether or not he should just go for it when her warmth disappears just as quickly as it came. he hates that he nearly sighs in frustration, but he blames it on him being a young dude. his body isn’t always exactly willing to cooperate. despite that, he’s quick to answer, “anything.” with a nod. “i mean, i’m not sure i’ll be able to answer but i’ll try.” he smiles encouragingly. “and i’m sure it’s not stupid, don’t say that. nothing you say is stupid.” he says, making sure that she has his undivided attention. his breath is trapped in his throat though, unsure of what she’s getting at and unsure if he can even tell the truth.

moonsus‌:

on top of the list of moonsu’s traits, being oblivious was definitely leading him through his relationship with kian. it was terribly naive of him to believe he was as special to the boy as he made him feel, but did he think it was the honest to god truth? absolutely. there was nothing, in his mind, that was leading him to believe otherwise. every word that he heard come out of kian’s mouth was taken to heart, and all of it made him fall more and more into the relationship they’d built. for once, moon felt like he wasn’t too much. in most relationships, moonsu felt like he had to tone down his personality to make the other person comfortable, but he’d yet to have that feeling with kian. that mix had been the perfect mess to completely pull moonsu down under, wrapped around kian’s finger and willing to do whatever he could to make sure he felt as appreciated as possible.

a lot of firsts. the words catch him by surprise, but moonsu doesn’t call it out. maybe he just doesn’t understand the obvious implications behind it. he was a theatre student - it wasn’t like his smarts had gotten him all that far, anyway. “of course it’s all for you… i mean, i’d like half the pizza and some of the wine, if you don’t mind, but the rest of it? all yours.” he nodded excitedly, watching the other boy take it all in. the kiss was enough for the tension in moon’s shoulders to fall - the confirmation that he’d done a good job and made him happy satisfying enough to make him forget the few mistakes that were rolling around his brain. as if kian would look him dead in the eye and say, ‘sure, this is great, but you couldn’t light all the candles? i think we should break up.’ that didn’t stop moonsu from thinking it, however, his dramatic head and heart making things like that seem far too realistic. 

he focuses more on the pizza until the three words fall past kian’s lips, and moonsu is pretty sure his heart just stops altogether. there had been plenty of ways he dreamed of his boyfriend reacting, but a declaration of love hadn’t been much more than something he fantasized happening further down. it was such a stretch - such an impossible reality, really, and yet moonsu took every single word that came out of the other’s mouth and made sure it all went directly to his heart. “you couldn’t scare me away,” he assured after a moment, embarrassed that he felt himself fighting off a threat of tears. no one had ever said that to him, let alone first, and one would think the feeling of it all being too good to be true would clue him in on the truth. instead he was nodding his head and shifting closer to kian, cupping his face in his hands and forcing eye contact. “i’m in this for the long haul,” he repeats back, leaning down to kiss him with far more passion behind the two from before. “i love you, too,” he mutters against his lips, nodding in assurance, because it just makes sense to him. it fits the fantasy world that kian built up for him, and he has no problem completely falling into it. he doesn’t think there should be anything stopping him. “i don’t know how i’m supposed to focus on anything else, now,” he mutters with a small pout, pulling back enough to look down at him again. “i just wanna kiss you… maybe give you the rest of your gifts.”

the reaction that moonsu grants him is infinitely better than anything he could have ever imagined. it’s almost as if kian can see, feel, smell the adoration and love pouring out of him. it’s overwhelming, but he drowns in it. he loves this feeling; he loves being at the very center of people’s universes. and now he can mark step one off of his list. moonsu has already fallen for him whether he’s fully accepted it or not and now all kian has to do is make a home in the spaces between his ribs. he wants the other to not be able to listen to certain songs (whether sad or happy) and not think about him, wants little things like the fountain in the middle of the park to remind him of the times they spent together, and, most of all, he wants moonsu to feel like he can’t live without him. he wants him to swear up and down to himself that he would rather die than be without kian. he wants to kill him in the most legal way possible — by ripping his heart out and stomping all over it. he wants to humiliate him, make him feel worthless, yet, somehow, he’ll still want kian. he’ll hate him, but he’ll long for him day in and day out for months and months, wishing that things could go back to the way they used to be.

when he feels his boyfriend’s hands cupping his cheeks, he melts into the touch, and smiles. it’s genuine, but not for the reasons that it should be. in his head, he’s thinking i can’t wait to destroy you but on the outside he’s conveying i’m so in love with you. and when they kiss again, he does so fervently; but he’s unable to push it a little further before the boy is breaking it. it’s worth it to hear the confirmation of reciprocated love though because he knows moonsu means it. and, despite everything that he is, kian loves to be loved. “the rest of my gifts?” he quirks a brow, curiosity getting the best of him. he leans over a little closer, placing his hand on moonsu’s thigh, and smiles innocently. “there’s no rush, we have all the time in the world.” he tells him. “but i’d love a hint to tide me over.” he says, batting his eyelashes as if he were pulled straight out of a corny romantic comedy. though, he supposes, everything with moonsu kind of feels that way; he definitely has a way with turning the most menial things into something extravagant. it’s an art that kian sort of respects.

“let’s not take too long though, you know i’m impatient when it comes to these things.” he laughs, pulling back to reach for a piece of pizza. but he stops himself and digs his cracked phone out of his pocket. he lines it up best that he can and takes a couple of pictures. “plus, i have a few gifts for you as well.” he grins, scooting closer to moonsu so that their thighs are touching. “say cheese.” he instructs, holding his phone up. he presses his lips to the other’s cheek and snaps a quick shot. he looks it over and hums in approval before setting it off to the side and reaching for a slice again. he grabs two for himself and two for moonsu because he’s generous like that. “can i ask you something?” he questions, though he’s going to anyway with or without permission. “have you ever been in a serious relationship?” he asks, popping the bottle of wine open. “before me, i mean.” he clarifies, sucking some of the liquid off of his hand that had spilled out before pouring each of them a glass.

anvya‌:

“hey now, don’t make fun of my board games,” she giggles before poking his nose. grabbing a few pieces of popcorn, she tosses one in her mouth before feeding one to kian as well. “my dad always talked about the game nights he had with his parents and siblings and how he really enjoyed them, so he kind of passed that tradition down to me and my sibling. i’m sure most teenagers would rather do anything than play boardgames with their parents, but…i dunno, call me crazy, but i actually really enjoyed it.” of course, her feelings for why she enjoyed it ran much deeper than kian would understand. all she ever wanted was for her birth parents to acknowledge her, to simply say hi or i love you, and never got that. with her adoptive parents, they gave her that and more. they made time for her and her sibling, always making sure they reminded the both of them how important they were. because of that, game nights were her favorite time of the week. 

annya hadn’t realized she got lost in her thoughts until she feels kian kiss her, this time a littler deeper before pulling away, causing the girl to pout for a moment before shaking her head, “mm, as fun as that sounds, i kind of like where we are right now. just…being close and talking…” she blushes, simply because they were pretty close physically, and it was the most physical she truly had gotten with anyone. sure, annya had her first kiss in high school, and even let wandering hands fool around but nothing ever went further than that. despite her relationship with kian still being somewhat new, she actually felt more comfortable around him than she did with anyone else before. it was scary, yet almost comforting at the same time. “that sounds wonderful,” she smiles as he talks about california. “sunshine and warm weather all the time? my flowers and plants could have such a better place to grow. does that mean you’ve never built a snowman before? because if you haven’t, we might have to change that asap.” 

it’s around this time in his other relationships that kian would tune out, only nodding here and there in all the right spots to make them think he was listening. but when it comes to annya, he actually is listening. he wants to know everything about her, every little detail, and experience things that no one else has. he’s treading dangerous waters, but he just doesn’t know how to stop; he doesn’t know if he even wants to. “yeah?” he raises a brow, chewing on the piece of popcorn she had fed him. “which was your favorite?” he asks. he has honestly never once in his life played a board game and can’t even begin to imagine what it would be like to sit down with his father and do something so simple. they couldn’t even be in the same house together without wanting to rip each other’s heads off. it tugs on something buried deep within him and reminds him that nothing about his upbringing was normal. and nothing about his life ever will be.

he doesn’t feel sorry for himself though because he’s worked through all that and he’s accepted it. but that doesn’t stop the what ifs from swirling around in his head. “really? i’m kinda boring.” he smiles, watching as the blush blooms across her cheeks. he finds it incredibly endearing, but it makes him wonder. he and annya have never really discussed their past sexual experiences and they also haven’t gone very far together. his endeavors paint a long list, but he’s good at reading people and he has a feeling that hers is much, much shorter. that’s why he has to be careful. he doesn’t want to push her away. he brings his right hand up and tucks a piece of hair behind her ear, chewing on the inside of his cheek. he’s used to playing the part of the perfect boyfriend, but he’s never had to worry about what messing it up might mean. “nope.” he confirms, popping the ‘p’. “i mean, i’ve built a sand snowman but never an actual one.” he explains. “to be honest, i’m not a huge fan of the cold. call me a pussy but i’d much—” he pauses to plant a kiss to the corner of her mouth, “rather—” he places another to the opposite side, “stay—” and finally captures her lips with his own, “right here.”

ofjiwon‌:

jiwon can literally feel the annoyance fill her body as the realization of just who has knocked into hits her. it was no secret that jiwon was a touch person, it didn’t take a lot to set her off. but, when it came to kian ko her annoyance practically radiated off of her. despite being involved in separate sports the pair still have a bit of an athletic rivalry going on, not that she consider being a mere football player anywhere near her level. she is quick to play off the run in taking a few steps back he chest heaving, she’d be lying to herself if she didn’t admit that kian was solid and the collision slightly knocked the wind out of her. the scowl that had already begun to taint her features deepened at his words, the line between her eyebrows deepening especially at the world ‘scrawny’. it touched a nerve with her, her whole track career her size had haunted her. “i’m not scrawny,” she couldn’t help scoff out immaturely as her arms crossed tightly in front of her. it wasn’t her best comeback and she already knew he would rip her a new one for those three words. 

the challenge of a run peaked her interest as her eyebrows quirked up, “you think you a buffoon who plays with balls all day can beat me?” the words come out a feigned sense of disbelief behind them. her teeth grind together at his next words. kian knew exactly how to get riled up and insulting her in the only thing that mattered to her was a sure fire way to do that. her jaw clenched as she took a step closer to him, “clearly you were at the wrong match,” she managed to get out slightly cooler then she expected, “because if you were at my meet you would know i got first in all sprits,” her head cocked to the side, eyes narrowing on him. “i don’t lose,” she slowly after a short pause for the dramatics of it all, “can’t say the same about your last game though,” her lips pursed for moment, “what was that score again?”

he thinks the girl may actually deck him if he laughs at her words, but he just can’t help it. the way she says them is just so hilariously childish and seems to have come straight out of a feel good movie. “there’s nothing wrong with being scrawny.” he assures her. “you just gotta own it. i mean, you kinda rock it ... i guess.” he shrugs. “i’d be more worried about your comeback game cause, i mean—” he whistles, “it’s not doing so hot.” he points out. “did we really collide that hard? next thing you know you’ll be actually being nice to me. maybe we can go for a bite to eat even.” he smiles. their banter is fun and, even though it doesn’t give him the same satisfaction as playing with his other toys does, he still enjoys it. it’s different. in a good way. refreshing even in some aspects. “i can’t be the only one feeling the sexual tension.” he teases.

his smile only widens when she hits him with an icy retort. he knows he’s suppose to be pretend kian around people, but she really brings out the other side of him. that’s not his fault, really. “you can get first and still not be particularly good. just means you’re better than the people you were up against.” he points out. “it just seemed like you were distracted. maybe you got broken up with or something, how am i to know? it was coming from a place of concern, honest.” he says, placing his hand over his heart. when she tries to come back at him with the score of the last game, he can only roll his eyes. “football doesn’t mean that much to me.” he replies. “plus, i scored nearly every point in that game. it kinda goes along with that whole just because you win doesn’t mean you’re the best and just because you lose doesn’t mean you’re the worst. it’s all about circumstance.”

seojvns‌:

as soon as kian wipes at his eyes, jun’s heart races with concern. “i… i wasn’t waiting, i just couldn’t sleep,” a lie to make himself seem less pathetic, but he and kian both know that wasn’t the truth. there wasn’t even a point in lying about it. “but i’m glad you’re home,” he adds, biting his lower lip as he watches kian’s movements from across the room. everything he does - each expression, each movement, jun watches intently. he knows something’s wrong almost immediately by his demeanour. “what happened?” he added, his voice softening, anxious that something bad happened to him. it was strange that jun felt so fiercely protective over kian, given that he was probably one of the last people who needed protecting. 

“you don’t seem fine,” he says in response, frowning at kian. and as soon as jun feels his hand caressing his cheek he can hear his heart beating loudly in his ears. his eyes remained on kian’s as he leaned into the touch. “it’s not even that late,” he protests, but he doesn’t even know what time it is. the only thing on his mind is how he wants to spend any time he can with kian. as soon as he pressed the button on his phone, jun’s eyes glance down at the screen, him noticing the crack immediately. “kian… what happened to your phone?” he asks, feeling a stronger sense of seriousness in his concern now, which is apparent in his tone. 

he follows kian, as loyal as ever, watching him as he removes his jacket and shoes, a frown still etched upon his expression. his worry for kian sometimes seemed unjustified, until moments like this. and then he’s pulled into a tight hug, which jun returns without a second thought, one hand around his waist with the other on the back of his neck as he holds kian against him. “don’t say things like that…” he mumbles in response, his words whinier than intended. “of course i wouldn’t, i care about you… so much…” and even that was an understatement. “who broke your heart? your phone?” he pulls away now to look at kian. 

despite the fact that jun’s not a confrontational person, he feels a sense of anger he’s unaccustomed to. the fact that someone hurt kian… it made him want to hit something. or someone. he places a hand on kian’s cheek, keeping close to him. “there’s nothing special about me,” he says with a sheepish laugh and a shake of his head, “but you,” he sighs, “there’s nothing about you that isn’t special.” and he’s never meant anything as much as he means that. “what do you need?” he asks, because he’s willing to give kian anything he wants.

he never really understood the whole “it’s like taking candy from a baby” quote until he met seojun. and now he gets it completely. it’s just so easy to get the boy exactly where he wants him that kian barely has to put in any work at this point. he falls into his trap every single time and he means it when he says that he’s lucky to have him. the other is so bad at hiding his emotions, too which kian eats up. he loves seeing each one fleeting across his face as kian’s appearance finally catches his eye and the concern grows deeper. he wants to be the center of seojun’s world, wants to be able to call him while he’s on a date or out with his closest friends, and have the boy drop everything he’s doing just to come to kian’s rescue. but he quickly shoves those thoughts to the back of his mind. it’s a little twisted, but he gets off on things like that. and how embarrassing would it be if he got hard in the middle of pretending to be heartbroken? he isn’t sure how he would explain that one away.

the feeling of seojun hugging him back just as tightly and assuring him that he cares about him so much causes kian to smile. but the boy pulls back so quickly that he almost doesn’t have time to slip back into his persona. almost. “just some dumb boy.” he replies, sniffling. “or maybe i’m the dumb boy for falling for his tricks.” he mumbles, looking down at his feet. that’s when he notices that their carpet truly is disgusting. though he doubts it’s from either one of them. the university has probably never cleaned it and now it’s forever tainted with bodily fluids, food, and god knows what else. a hand on his cheek pulls him from his thoughts and he looks up, melting into the touch easily. “please.” he huffs out a humorless, sad laugh. “there’s nothing special about me. i can’t do anything right.” he frowns. “but you’re perfect, junnie. you’re always here for me even when i don’t deserve it. i don’t know what i’d do without you.”

probably be infinitely more bored, for one. “can i—” he pauses, averting his eyes to the floor again, “can i sleep in your bed tonight?” he asks quietly as if he’s shy about bringing it up. he tries to force a blush onto his cheeks, but there are some things that even he can’t do. “it’s okay if you say no. i know you may have someone coming over or something.” he mumbles, toeing at the dirty carpet. “i just, i don’t wanna be alone. i know it’s a little pathetic but ... it’s just been a rough night.” he sighs, chewing on his bottom lip. he pretends like he’s too embarrassed to look at his roommate and turns his attention towards his phone. he picks it up from the tv stand and presses a few of the buttons to see if it still works then tucks it away into his back pocket.

“do we have any ice cream?” he asks, finally looking at seojun again. “i always hear girls talking about how that seems to help them through heartbreaks so maybe i should give it a shot.” he smiles, keeping it closed and small; distant even. “have you ever had your heart broken, junnie?” he asks, curiously. and he actually is genuinely curious. even if only because he could use it against him in the future. he lets his words trail off as he pads his way to his room in search of something to change into. their space is small so it isn’t hard for them to communicate with each other even when they’re in different rooms. grabbing the bottom of his shirt, he tugs it over his head and tosses it to the floor. he undresses slowly to not only give off an exhausted state, but also just in case seojun follows him. “i couldn’t imagine anyone breaking your heart. you’re too sweet.” he says as he undoes the button of his jeans.

anvya‌:

annya was barley following the movie if she were to be honest, but it was something mind numbing for them to watch as they tried to wait out this terrible snowstorm. at least he was with her, the two cuddling close and simply enjoying each other’s company. to her, that was enough. she nods as he leaves to make some more popcorn, her eyes following him for a moment before glancing back at the t.v. sure, she’s had a few relationships in the past during high school, and while they were great, she knew they wouldn’t last forever. the connection she made with them wasn’t as strong as she believed it should be. however, when it came to kian, something felt…different. she was falling for him, quite hard, and suddenly their relationship was starting to reach places she’s never explored before. was she terrified? absolutely, yet kind of excited as well. she’s now starting the rest of her life, and she didn’t mind if she got lucky in finding someone sooner than she thought.

she hums softly into his kiss before shrugging her shoulders, “you’re right, i haven’t really been paying attention.” she admits with a small blush that only worsens with his cute little line, causing her to bury her face into his shoulder for a moment with a quick laugh. looking back up at him, she steals another kiss, or three, before turning off the t.v completely. “hm…well there’s always a few video games we can play. you can’t go wrong with mairo kart, right? or there’s some board games i have some where…” she turns her head to look around for a moment, trying to remember where she put them before facing him once more. “or i can always make you another costume,” she teases with a light laugh before moving to straddle his lap, her arms hanging loosely around his neck as she kisses his forehead, than cheek, than lips once more. “what sounds good to you?”

he slips back into place beside her easily, fitting his arm behind her again, and it’s like all those movies where they claim to be puzzle pieces. it really is like they were made for each other. but kian knows that isn’t true. he was never meant to be happy, never meant to be with someone. he doesn’t deserve it. but she makes him feel like he does. “board games?” he repeats with a quirk of his brow. “are you sixty or five? i can’t tell.” he teases. but all rational thought flies out of his mind when she moves to straddle him and his hands immediately settle on her waist. she just fits so perfectly against him that it should be illegal. he shouldn’t be allowed to have her. especially not like this. but he still takes and takes because he’s selfish. he’ll keep her for however long it takes for her to realize that he’s a monster. “hm.” he hums, eyes closing as she peppers sweet kisses on his face and lips.

“what were we talking about again?” he smiles, pressing his lips to hers a little harder. he doesn’t dare deepen it before he’s pulling away again. and it’s not that he doesn’t want to, but he’s not trying to push her. for once in his life, he’s actually thinking about someone else before himself. surely he deserves some kind of award. “we could just do this? i’m good with that.” he suggests, unable to stop smiling. and not one of the fake ones either, this one is genuine. “or we could go sledding, i guess? i’m not really sure what people do during snowstorms.” he admits. “this is my first one. don’t get much snow in california. or, you know, any other kind of weather besides constant sunshine.” he explains. “tragic, i know. truly a first world problem.” he says, letting his hands fall slightly to rest just below her hips as his thumbs rub her thighs gently.

moonsus‌:

the way moonsu did anything was always so painfully meticulous. he could never do anything halfway, and relationships were the biggest show of evidence that he had no concept of toning down his dramatic displays of affection. it was valentine’s day, anyway - or a few days after, and he found that as a perfect excuse to go all out for kian. the two had been too busy to celebrate the day of, but the delayed celebrations were all the more of a reason to show kian just how special he was to him. the only demands he had made were that kian be at the park at six - early enough that the sun would be setting soon. the surrounding candles carefully placed around the picnic blanket had been the truly painful part of it all. he knew he looked like a fool, rushing around to relight the candles every time the wind blew the slightest bit. it was exhausting, but kian was worth the embarrassment of a pair of old women laughing at him from a park bench for thirty minutes straight. 

when kian finally showed up, it felt like moonsu was on stage, ready for the performance of his life - that performance being making sure that his boyfriend had a valentine’s day date he’d never forget. “hey,” he rushed out, moving forward to kiss his cheek before holding out the single chocolate rose. “this is it,” he said after a moment, nodding his head. “i just asked you to come here so i could give you that. wanna go now? i can think of some way more exciting things we could be doing right now. not that we probably couldn’t do it here, too, but the amount of old people hanging around is kind of a turn off.” with a scrunch of his nose, he waited a few seconds before grabbing kian’s wrist and tugging him towards the actual display. a few of the candles were out again, causing an inner huff of frustration for moon that he did his best not to show - now wasn’t the time to pout over the little imperfections. he’d just pout about them later in private. the blanket was outlined with roses and kiss candies; moon took a moment to admire his own display before gasping as he tugged his phone out, a tiny speaker to the side blasting jazz music. he quickly turned the volume down and led kian to sit. “as for what we’re eating… not the most romantic meal, but…” he grabbed a box of pizza, opening it to show pizza in the shape of a heart. “… pretty good, right?” // @kians

kian hates valentine’s day. really, he hates every holiday but he hates this one the most. he can’t even count how many times he’s had to sit through dumb traditions just because his partner at the time wanted to show how much they loved him. there were even a few times where he got so frustrated with the whole thing that he just broke off the relationship then and there. it always adds a little more sting to break someone’s heart on the day of love. and, honestly, he considered doing that very same thing today. to moonsu. but, at the last minute, he decided against it. he hasn’t had all his fun yet, hasn’t even scratched the surface so, therefore, he knows he has to suffer through another day of pretending like he actually gives a shit about all of this. and he knows he’s acting like a crybaby but, fuck, he really doesn’t want to go. that’s why he takes his time getting there and if moonsu mentions it then he’ll just make something up. and his boyfriend will believe him because kian has never given him a reason not to.

he sees moonsu before the boy ever sees him and he can’t help but roll his eyes. he knows him well and knows he’s probably went way over the top. and while, normally, he would enjoy the attention, he had a long night and he’s so tired that he can barely muster up the ability to smile. still, he does. he beams brightly at moonsu when he bounds over and gives him a tender kiss on the cheek. he slips so easily into the pretend kian that sometimes he wonders if there’s not a bit of the real one in there somewhere. “hey to you, too.” he replies, taking the chocolate rose from his hands. he smells it because, c’mon it’s a chocolate rose, and grins wider. “can’t say i’ve ever gotten a chocolate rose before. seems like there’s a lot of firsts always happening between us.” he quirks a brow. but moonsu is the exact opposite of him. where kian is calm and collected, the other is already freaking out and rambling. he’s nervous and if kian were anyone but himself, he would think it was endearing.

“wow, i can’t believe this—” he trails off, eyes studying the scene in amazement, “is this all for me?” he asks, though it obviously is. “you always outdo yourself, moonsu. i’m so lucky to have you.” he smiles, taking a seat on the blanket then leaning over to press a gentle kiss to his lips. when his boyfriend shows him the pizza, he lets out a laugh full of admiration (because that’s what he’s suppose to do), and gives him another kiss. “maybe it’s not the most romantic meal, but you can never go wrong with pizza.” he states. “i love it.” he makes sure to add before chewing on his lip in thought. “and ... i love you.” he confesses. “i— i know we’ve only been dating for a couple of months but ... it’s been amazing. it’s been so different from anyone else i’ve been with. i’ve never felt this way about someone.” he admits, swallowing hard. “i’m sorry if it’s too soon. i don’t wanna scare you away, but i wanted you to know.” he says, reaching over to take one of his hands in his own. “i’m in this for the long haul. i hope you are, too.”

seojvns‌:

for @kians. ♡

he’d dozed off a few times now while waiting up for kian and was starting to think, in the brief moments of consciousness, that maybe he wouldn’t be back to their dorm at all tonight. it wasn’t surprising, but it was frustrating. seojun didn’t plan his life around kian or anything - he wasn’t that invested, but he liked knowing that he was here and safe. especially with everything that’d been going on lately. was it really that much to ask of kian for him to send him a brief text on the nights he wouldn’t be back anyway? seojun certainly didn’t think so, but maybe kian would disagree. the worst part was that he didn’t have the right to feel so protective over him and, yet, here he was. as protective as ever. 

as soon as he heard the door open, his head lifted, eyes snapping open as all sleepiness he felt previously quickly evaporated. but he still looked sleepy, with his eyes puffy and his hair messy from falling asleep on the couch. “hi,” he said, his voice soft, his eyes staying on kian. he wanted to ask where he’d been, but knew it wasn’t fair to, so he didn’t. instead he stared, hoping for any bit of attention kian was willing to give him - if he even was. “um, welcome home,” he said, pulling himself up off the couch. “are you… hungry? i could make you something to eat, if you want,” he offered, all too willing to do anything that kian wanted. but that was nothing new. he’d jump through hoops all day, if he were asked.

kian does everything for a reason. the way he dresses, the way he smiles, and the way he does his hair always depends on which toy he’s playing with that day. if he can’t get something out of it then he doesn’t do it, period. it wouldn’t be fair for him to put in so much work if he got nothing in return. lucky for him, he knows nearly everything he needs to about his roommate and he definitely uses it to his advantage. spending so much time together in such close quarters has given him the leverage he needs to pull on seojun’s strings a little harder and push him a little farther. and, god, he’s so fun to play with. he might be kian’s favorite. he barely has to do anything at all and, yet, is given so much. it’s like christmas every day. he takes his time walking up the stairs to their dorm, reading over texts that he doesn’t plan on answering, and he even takes a break to catch the breath that he never lost in the first place. it’s just so exhausting being him.

switching to the camera on his phone, he checks his appearance and notes that his eyes are a little red from his activities earlier that night. still, he rubs at them a little more and even touches his eyeball to get them to water before wiping the tears away. he wants to look like he’s been crying. when he’s satisfied, he carelessly drops his phone to the ground then picks it back up again. it doesn’t crack the first time around so he repeats until it does. when he sticks his key in the door, he counts to five, then enters. he isn’t surprised to see that seojun is there, waiting for him, but he pretends to be. “oh!” he says, making a show of wiping at his eyes. “i didn’t expect you to be up.” yes, he did. “you didn’t have to wait up for me, junnie.” he says, forcing a sad smile onto his face. he turns away to lock the door and pretend like he doesn’t want to look at the other.

“i’m—” he swallows hard before clearing his throat, “i’m fine.” he says. “thanks for the offer though, i appreciate it.” he adds, reaching forward to caress his cheek. “you should go to bed.” he states, pressing the button on his phone as he pretends to check the time. but, really, he just wants to make sure seojun sees the cracked screen. “it’s late.” he mumbles, shoulders slumping. he places his phone down on the tv stand then shrugs off his jacket and kicks off his shoes. he pretends as if he’s just going to head for his room then quickly turns and pulls his roommate into a tight hug. “i don’t deserve you, junnie.” he whispers. “i know you’d never hurt me. you’d never break my heart like he did or break my phone just to add insult to injury.” he sighs. “how did i get so lucky with you?”

☆ — who : @anvya ☆ — when : november of 2017 ☆ — where : pugh hall dormitory

kian is in uncharted territory; everything is so new and unfamiliar. a part of him wants to run and never look back, but he can’t. annya keeps him grounded to the spot with some unseen magnetic force. but it’s all just so exhausting. it’s like he’s slipped into his facade, like he’s pretending, without doing so at all. the line between reality and the world he’s created is starting to blur and the cracks are starting to show. for once in his life, he’s scared of how it’s all going to end. “i’m gonna grab some more popcorn.” he says, removing his arm from behind her as he stands from the bed. he just needs a minute to breathe, to calm himself down. all they’re doing is watching a movie in her dorm, something completely normal, and he’s damn near having an existential crisis. grabbing the nearly empty bowl on the bedside table, he makes the short trek to the attached kitchenette and places it on the counter. he manages to keep his hands from shaking as he takes a bag of popcorn from the cabinet and tosses it into the microwave.

when the sound fills the room, he allows his eyes to close and lets out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding. he and annya have been official for a couple of months now after initially meeting at freshman orientation, but it’s so incredibly different from anyone else that he’s dated that he wonders if he’ll even survive it. the most jarring revelation is that this isn’t a game to him for once. he actually doesn’t want to hurt her. and that’s terrifying, as sick as it sounds. when the microwave goes off, emitting the universal beep that signals the popcorn is ready, he pulls himself together and opens the door. his motions are robotic and even though he burns himself as he pours it into the bowl, he doesn’t even flinch. “this movie kinda sucks, huh?” he smiles as he rounds the corner back into the room. in truth, he hasn’t been watching it. he doesn’t even know what it’s about. “if there wasn’t a snowstorm outside, we could’ve actually did something fun.” he says.

he sets the bowl down in its previous place and leans over to give her a short kiss on the lips. “i guess i can deal though if it means spending time with you.” he states, internally cringing. he’s delivered that same line to a million other people, but it feels wrong doing the same to her. at least he means it this time.

ofjiwon‌:

the sweat beaded on jiwon’s forehead as her sneaker clad feet pounded lightly against the sidewalk. practice had ended a few hours ago but per usual jiwon overachieving style she liked to extend her own training for an hour after. in order to keep things interesting she liked to take her final round through the campus’ quad. she was turning the corner around one of the lecture hall buildings when her body came colliding with another. the power behind her run causing a short huff to puff out of her lips, “—fuck,” the curse came out of her lips as she stumbled backwards trying to right herself. it wasn’t till that moment did her eyes land on the person in front of her, “—oh shit, i didn’t hurt you did i?” her eyes moved to scan the person for any obvious injuries. she normally wouldn’t be the type is apologize in a position like this, but she knew the power behind her when she ran she couldn’t have really hurt this person, “you’re lucky i wasn’t practicing my sprints,” she joked lamely.

kian grumbles to himself as the strap of his duffel bag catches on the door. he pulls on it once, twice, three times, before it finally gives way and detaches itself, subsequently freeing him from the frustrating scenario. he can feel the way his features settle into something reminiscent of annoyance almost immediately, but he doesn’t care enough to fix it. he’s tired so his facade is faltering. he’s just lucky that no one is around to see it slip. his brows furrow and suddenly he’s mad at the world again. his muscles are tense and extremely sore from practice which only adds to his irritation and that’s what throws him off completely. it’s the reason why he isn’t focused, why he isn’t paying attention to his surroundings. he’s usually so aware of the things around him so it sort of takes him by surprise when he rounds the corner and is nearly pummeled by another body. the hit is hard and it knocks the breath out of him, causes him to stumble backwards a bit.

he nearly snaps, curses at the offender, but has enough sense to calm himself down. that isn’t who he is. or, at least, that isn’t who he’s pretending to be. he schools his features and forces a laugh out. “as if your scrawny ass could hurt me.” he rolls his eyes, playfully. he and jiwon aren’t exactly friends or anything, but he has to play the part of the nice boy. despite the fact that the two seem to have a rivalry, always trying to one-up each other. “oh yeah?” he quirks a brow, readjusting the strap on his shoulder. “bet i could outrun you.” he says, almost as if it’s a challenge. he knows it’ll get her worked up though and that’s all he’s looking for. pretty little jiwon who wants to be the biggest track star in the world. oh, what he would give to crush those dreams. though he doesn’t actually think he could beat her. “i saw your last match.” he says, contorting his face into a look of disbelief. “wasn’t all that impressive. you can do better so ... what gives? what threw you off your game?”

“Last I was aware, I could come and see to my business with this guild so long as I report myself accordingly to the Guildmaster -- which I’ve done, and that is not you.”

                              @titanxkommandant

                     “What the fuck are you doing, Asstard?”

to be fair , naji's not really a happy anything. he's always felt too much or too little , and even tonight he leans towards the former , awkward and messy in a way that he's hoping she won't find pathetic. the word mopey sticks with him , but he's simply amused , the feeling tugging his lips into a reluctant, lopsided smile he has no business letting mabel see. he swears it's the first time he's smiled all night , but hey , she's always carried a kind of warmth with her that's bled into his gloom. " i'm not grumpy all the time — " i'm definitely not grumpy around you. " — and , believe it or not , the eeyore comment is unoriginal. " naji stares at her reflection for a beat longer than he should , alcohol addled senses fixating his gaze there. he swallows , hard. tentative fingers drift to the door handle , rough thumbs brushing over it before the cold metal finally snaps him out of it, naji’s blinking hard like he’s trying to shake off the fog. " maybe i'll get you that shot when you're done. " before he's encouraged to say another drunken word , he pulls the door closed between them , letting the latch click softly into place before he leans against it. the heels of his palms press into his eyes , the pressure sending his vision dark and filled with sprinklings of stars. he's hoping that now — now that mabel's behind a door, where he can’t see her — he might finally be able to get a grip. 

in  her  own  defense,  mabel  isn't  completely  sure  that  her  pouts  work  on  naji  ;  there's  the  sneaking  suspicion,  yes,  and  maybe  she  weaponizes  it  a  lot  because  she  knows  it'll  work,  yes,  but  she's  never  been  sure.  always  the  gnawing  feeling  that  maybe  he's  just  humoring  her,  insecurity  personified  and  speaking  in  the  most  irritating  little  voice  in  her  head  —  if  mabel  thinks  about  it  too  much  her  stomach  hurts.  cheeks  go  pink  when  she  looks  at  him  like  this,  enough  to  make  her  freeze  for  a  sputtering  moment  before  giving  up  and  ducking  under  his  arm  to  get  in.  push  past  him  (  ignore  the  stumbling,  she  didn't  claim  to  be  sober  )  and  she  won't  have  to  look  too  long.  "  i  don't  even  have  attitude,  you're  just  so  grumpy  all  the  time.  thought  you'd  be  a  happy  drunk,  you  know.  "  confidence  is  restored  and  her  tone  evens  out,  gains  the  little  lilt  typical  of  her.  mabel's  even  brave  enough  to  grin  at  him  from  the  mirror,  "  awww,  you're  being  so  sweet.  f'i  knew  you'd  be  like  this  i  would've  asked  you  for  a  shot  earlier.  "  mabel  contemplates  kicking  him  out,  feels  the  nerves  in  waves  ;  naji's  aura  was  quite  blue  (  or  maybe  purple  ?  )  right  now,  she  wonders  if  he  notices.  "  mm  —  actually,  i'm  fine  !  are  you  okay,  though  ?  you  look  so  ...  mopey.  like  eeyore.  "  ouch.

naji hates that pout. it makes his stomach flip and his chest go tight , that irrational fear of disappointing her always fluttering in his chest like he's holding in an atrium of butterflies. he swears mabel knows that , too , and that's the worst part. he's got half a mind to smile at the way she's standing now — hands planted on her hips , face all scrunched up , small frame still somehow demanding attention in the tiny hallway — but instead he just rolls his eyes again. it gives him a second to glance away , a low, frustrated sound escaping him. " maybe a little. " his gaze dances back to her again , vision a little less hazy with her standing in front of him. " not drunk enough to put up with your attitude , though. " and — " can’t help the face, i guess. " frustration laces the words , and he's not sure why he cares about her opinion as much as he does. naji decides to blame it on the alcohol. " just . . . you're fine. do your thing. " he finally steps aside his hands twisting together in nervous habit. even inebriated he's no good at being careless ( at least , not when it comes to the others ) and so he lingers in the hallway outside the door. " i'll make sure nobody tries to rush you. "

the  pout  is  instant  the  second  naji  opens  the  door.  mabel  takes  a  pause,  splays  her  hands  at  her  sides  and  turns  to  look  at  the  partygoers  around  her  (  who  do  not  care  one  bit,  mind  you  ),  because  surely  naji  isn't  talking  to  her  right  now.  "  oh  my  god  ?  why  are  we  so  touchy  right  now  ?  "  her  features  scrunch  up  in  a  grimace.  "  i  had  to  pee  !  and  that  was  the  first  time  i  knocked  !  you've  been  in  there  for,  like,  ever.  " '  ever  '  meaning  like  five  minutes,  but  time  eludes  mabel  when  she's  drunk.  and  she's  her  fair  share  of  tipsy,  "  what's  wrong  with  you  ?  you  look  drunk.  and  a  little  bit  like  a  serial  killer.  "  you  can  always  count  on  mabel  for  an  uplifting  pep  talk,  clearly.

it's as if he knows to sense the laughter before the sound hits his ears , loud and strong and vivid enough to cut through the life that pulses through the loft. she's always had a way of demanding attention — even from him , even right now — and perhaps that's why they fall into this tug of war : one where she tries to move close and he tries to pull away. it shouldn't bother him , but it does ( she'd like that , wouldn't she ? ) , and he lets his eyes flutter shut as her head falls beside his. he doesn't laugh at her little explanation , just lets out a huff with no definite meaning. " feelin' generous tonight , or did the jungle juice just fuck you up that bad? " naji shifts his weight just slightly , barely a movement at all , like it’s enough to put a barrier between them — even though he knows she'll break it , same as always. he's one to talk with the way the liquor is clouding up his brain already , making him a little less resistant to her casual audacity , fingers tightening around the cigarette as she leans close. naji's pulse quickens — he hates that it does — and he freezes up , like the creature carved out of stone like everyone else makes him out to be. the weight of the tin falls heavy in his pocket , his voice suddenly drying his throat . it drops low , a harsh murmur for just the two of them , barely loud enough to hear over the music. " guess i'm your second charity case of the night. " without waiting for a response, his fingers slip further into his pocket, feeling the cool, familiar shape of the tin. it doesn't rattle the same way it should , and his curiosity finally lets his gaze slide over to find the outline of her face beside him. " do i open it now , or when i get home? "

avoid  her  gaze,  and  she’ll  only  want  it  more.  a  masochist,  no  doubt.  words  sting,  sure,  but  they’re  far  more  amusing  when  delivered  by  someone  who  usually  seems  so  silent  and  stoic.  it’s  as  if  she  has  the  wicked  ability  to  reach  into  his  insides,  twisting  his  nerves  whenever  she  wants  …  and,  staring  at  the  side  of  his  face,  she  wants  now.  shoes,  right.  she  forces  her  eyes  away  from  him,  if  only  briefly,  glancing  down  at  her  feet  before  bursting  into  belly - aching  laughter  —  a  big,  thunderous  sound  that  could  surely  be  heard  over  the  pounding  music.  “  i  told  this  girl  that  my  heels  were  so  fuckin’  uncomfortable,  ”  juno  leans  against  the  same  wall  as  him,  slowly  encroaching  on  his  territory,  “  and  she  said  that,  if  i  wasn’t  gonna  use  them,  i  should  give  them  to  her  instead.  funny.  ”  there’s  a  brief  pause  as  her  amusement  dies  down,  only  a  few  weak chuckles  left  as  evidence  of  its  existence.  head  rolls  back, joining the pair in their rest with a bang.  “  well,  now  that  you’ve  had  your  fun  stabbing  me  a  little,  ”  she  nudges  naji’s  leg  with  one  of  the  victims  of  the  earlier  robbery,  hand  sticking  inside  her  enormous  coat  to  retrieve  her  debt’s  payment  —  feeling  like  she’s  holding  her  heart  between  shaky  fingers.  she  infiltrates  one  of  his  pockets  and  buries  it  in there. deep.  a  secret.  unable  —  or  unwilling  —  to  witness  his  reaction,   for  whatever  reason.  “  got  you  something.  use  ‘em  wisely.  ” 

opening the door had seemed to welcome in the scent of alcohol , and it's heavy enough to make naji's stomach churn. he's already regretting his last drink — and the cigarette that went with it — and now he’s greeted with a familiar face , as well as the sight of blood staining the white of leo’s t - shirt. for a moment, he just stands there , blinking , as if his intrusion is some kind of joke the universe decided to play on him tonight. the other man seems quite drawn to those anyway ( jokes , he means ) and naji's half tempted to roll his eyes at him as he takes in the scene. but he's always been the protective type , and warmth wins out before annoyance can as he ushers leo in through the door . naji kicks it closed again behind them , only after offering the long line outside nothing but a brusque " wait a little longer. " " god , martinez , what are you smiling for ? and what the hell did you do to yourself ? " the fluorescent light flickers again as he dips down to rummage under the sink. it takes him a minute to find and grab the half - busted first - aid kit from under the sink , brown eyes flickering up to look at leo as he straightens himself to his full height again. he wrote off leo as the type to pull stunts like this long ago — it grates on him , but as he pulls out gauze and disinfectant , his usual exasperation sounds like something closer to concern. he tilts his head, gesturing for leo to take a seat somewhere. " whatever. sit still. gotta clean that shit up. "

this was inevitable. he'd been baited into doing a poor man's interpretation of missy elliot's 1,2 step when he'd tripped on his untied shoelaces and went arm-first into one of those ugly, glass coffee tables. it definitely could've been worse. if he hadn't caught himself, he could have cut his face, which as his mother always said, was his moneymaker. instead, he had a thin, but fairly deep, cut on his left forearm. he hadn't even noticed the blood at first. it wasn't until one of the others, white-faced and voice tinged with worry, pointed it out that he felt the warm trail of it down his arm. "shit," he'd said, ruining one of his favorite t-shirts to try and staunch the bleeding and immediately hustled down the hallway to the bathroom.

he cut the line with a few apologies and when he got any complaints, leo simply held up his cradled arm, white t-shirt darkening with each passing second. at least it didn't hurt. he was drunk enough for that, apparently. when he reached the bathroom door, he knocked quickly in rhythm and waited a thirty count before trying again.

when the door does open, leo blinks in surprise at a familiar face and wordlessly holds up his injured arm with a toothy smile. he figures it's a good enough reason to pound on the bathroom door.

naji's body relaxes almost imperceptibly as the familiar voice hits his ears , the sight of major's face clear in his hazy vision after he gets in a few hard blinks. the initial burn of irritation that has him clenching his jaw fades away , replaced with a feeling that's caught halfway between relief and embarrassment. the hand brushing at his temple slips down to rub his jaw , and he rolls his eyes — even in his drunken state he knows it's an affectionate action more than an irritated one — stepping further out into the hallway to join major where he's standing. " man , you scared the shit outta me , " he groans , even though they both likely know ' scared ' isn't the most appropriate word. naji has always been the type to come out fists swinging , and had it been an annoying stranger instead of the bassist , the conversation would've ended in a verbal or physical scuffle. tentatively , and after a minute of trying to make out the label , naji reaches out to take the gatorade from him. it's a sight for sore eyes , practically glistening under the party lights. " thanks , though — couldn’t pay me to touch that jungle juice. four loko was bad enough , maj. "

he shrugs as he twists the cap of the bottle off , hoping the words come off as nonchalant , but there’s an exhaustion somewhere in his voice. " was tryna hide out in the bathroom — " okay , he's chatty now , maybe that'll be a reminder to have fewer drinks next time. " — but clearly that isn't gonna work. know any good hiding places ? "

Sometimes throwing parties felt like being part of the babysitter’s club, or some shit – not that Major had ever babysat in his fuckin’ life! Nobody had ever been desperate enough to hand him a whole ass kid. He didn’t have enough family to make the whole, ‘little cousins running around the trailer park,’ thing a stereotype that applied. Major figured, though, that after seeing some of his bandmates lick down a drink or two, he might be able to put it on a resume. Major feats in daycare – who’d have  thought? 

“Yoooo, what’s all that noise?” His tone is false exasperation as soon as it leaves his lips – lightweight. Fun, and funny, and all that good shit: least he hoped that’s how it was all coming off. Major didn’t wanna overthink it, though; didn’t really wanna think on it at all! So he handed over the bottle of Gatorade he had in his baseball glove of a hand – the only unspiked shit he could fuckin’ find in the fray of the party. “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you, huh? I’m just out here lookin’ out for you, and shit, baby boy.” 

"You get into that Jungle Juice? Cuz, for the record - this is why I tell everyone to bring their own shit. Ain't no party like a rat loft party, because these guys don't give a fuck."

he noticed the staring long ago. how could he not ? it's as brazen as everything else the woman does — sharp , like a silent dare , a challenge in the air like she's looking just to see if he'll offer his gaze back. ( he doesn't. ) instead , naji ignores her for the time being , shadow falling behind flickering lights , half - swallowed by the dark and half - swathed in neon pink. a cigarette burns low between his fingers — should he go outside ? he's deciding — but it does nothing to fight the perpetual scowl that is twisted onto his lips , even as he lifts it up again to take a drag. he's got an air about him that screams leave me alone , and , on a normal day , most people catch on quick. ( it is important to note , then , that he knows juno zhang is not 'most people'. ) her gaze sticks like static , and so does his bleary memory of last night , the wild woman on his doorstep and asking to stay like he's her last resort. less than twenty - four hours ago was when naji learned he can't say no to her , and , already it's proving to make things difficult. he knows this even as she approaches , brash and barefoot , bringing all her wit and audacity with her. the scowl twists deeper at her tone , eyebrows knitting together. the teasing otherwise rolls off his shoulders , but it does something strange , somewhere deep , just enough to make him wonder why she cares to notice what he's doing at all. his eyes fixate somewhere to her left , and he leans back further agains the wall. don't look chaos in the eye , that's not good for you. " hmm. " a noncommital grunt , like he isn't buying into her taunt. " where the fuck did you leave your shoes ? " he pauses again. " you wanna talk about being 'lost', yeah? " the implications of that are clear , but he's not insolent enough to bring up the night before. " or just here for a cigarette ? "

𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐀𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐄, @najiikarim ! 𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 : major's stinky loft.

the  loud  and shitty music  blasting  from  the  janky  speakers  and  sweaty  bodies  slamming  against  her  absurdly  furry  exterior  aren’t  enough  to  pull  her  stabbing  gaze  away from  him  ; meticulous examination  made  all  the  more  obvious  by  the  haze  coating  her  inebriated  brain.  yes,  juno’s  never  been  —  and  never  will  be  —  someone  who’s  subtle  (  because  fuck  that  ),  but  right  now,  she’s  doing  absolutely  nothing  to  hide  the  fact  that  she’s  been  staring,  staring  and  staring  some  more.  he  seems  lonely.  he  saved  you  last  night.  just  move.  and, like  everything  she  ever  does  in  life,  she  follows  the  first  impulse  that  jerks  at  her  bruised  heart.  wants  to  thank  him,  needs  to — it’s  been  a  gnawing  itch  that she  hasn’t  been  able  to  scratch  since  stepping  out  of  his  home  this  morning.  the  altoids tin  box  that she filled  with  four hand - rolled joints burning her  pocket, a symbol of unspoken gratitude. she can’t stomach the thought of not repaying him ... for some reason. kindness for the sake of being kind is a myth, after all. naked  feet  —  she  ditched  her  heels  a  while  back  and  didn’t bother  looking  for  them — carry  her  toward  him in all of her messy glory,  an inevitable curse. excitement  pulses  through  her  veins;  this  is  the  closest  her  prying  eyes  have  been  to  him  the  entire  night. what a thrill. “ lookin’  a  little  lost  there … ”  she  says,  not  meaning  to  mock,  but  her  words  still  have  a  sharp  edge  to  them.  “  never  been  to  a  party  before,  roadie  ?  no  one’s  gonna jump  you.  ”

hi hello here's a little tag drop !

｡:゜᪤｡ open starter — at : break room . ⭑𓂃

Something’s wrong. Maybe it’s the new sugar Clementine got, or is the mug? He should've stuck to his old mug, but he just couldn't find it. Who could he blame then? Emilio, probably, since César saw the preppy asshole eyening the mug with a sort of… desire. Desire to steal.  Drinking the coffee again, César felt the urge to scream. What the fuck is wrong with it? He looked to the left, spotting the first person to walk in the break room. “ I need you. ” He voiced, serious as ever. “ Can you taste the coffee I made and explain to me what the fuck is wrong with it? It’s not as good as it should be. Something terrible happened. ”

# ── ⋆˚࿔ bit of a tag drop kinda thingy.

⚝ LITTLE MORE

This is a mini 3-4 part yeonjun x gn! Reader series of something I thought on the spot!!

Note- yn and the txt grp are already close, this is an established relationship, set in uni, reader has a cat named fifi (who will almost always be present in my smau's!!

Synopsis- yn boasting their relationship with yj on twt, their frnd grp getting pissed off on the tl (time line)

Warnings- fluff, cursing (as usual), taebin at the end, fully smau

All the photos are taken frm twt!!

Part 1: thread 🧵

Part 2: meeting the parents + more

Part 3: i love my bf + more

Extras: posts that i forgot to add 😭/ didn't hv space for

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