Informative - Blog Posts

Sorry OP for butting in but: if you cannot go to the protest in person due to mobility/parental/safety reasons, one role you could play is home base. A home base is a person or multiple people in one space, ideally near to the police station where those who get arrested will get taken, with multiple phones for contacting people, or being the emergency contact for others, and food/water/clothes/meds/bail money for the protesters who get arrested. If they get a call, one person can go and give the arrested protesters whatever they need and bail them out. The space should also ideally act as a safe haven if needs be, for injured, overwhelmed or disabled protesters, and should have multiple rooms for rest and first aid. Anyway, sorry for the long block of text, I just think that this is important. I have acted as part of a home base for many protests, and a lot of people are grateful for the help.

ICE raids are happening.

Any immigrants, no matter how long you have been a citizen of the USA, is at risk of being deported either out of the country as a whole or into what are basically concentration camps. Raids starting in Chicago, Illinois. and spreading to other major cities with high POC and Hispanic populations. The US Immigrations and Customs Enforcement (ICE) and Customs and Border Patrol (CBP) have started raiding homes and families in California.

There are no "protected locations" as of January 21, 2025. Hospitals, schools, and churches are all at risk of being raided, where before these places were deemed safe and off limits to raids.

When it comes to spotting an ICE agent, look for these:

Weirdly neat/well kept hair (shaved heads, side parts, military burs for men; low buns, high ponytails, close cropped bobs for women)

Oversized jacket (long and bulky outerwear makes it easier to hide tools/equipment without being suspicious)

Both hands in pockets

Many undercover agents/cops buy cheap plain clothes off the racks so they aren’t seen in their own clothes. This can make their outfit seem awkward

Sweatshirts with the hood up

Sports apparel (warm up jacket, sweats, etc) with non-sports clothes (jeans, cargo shorts)

Cargo pants/shorts (usually full of items like their badge, flashlight, taser, pepper spray, backup handcuffs, zip ties)

Military or hiking style boots, sometimes chunky sneakers (extra points if none of it matches anything in their outfit)

Outline of a gun in their pants/shirt (easy to see when bending, leaning, or raising arms) (NO NOT SAY ANYTHING)

Overly friendly

Overly inquisitive

“How old are you” and “what do you know about this happening” are both red flags, along with generally odd and personal questions

Don’t fit in

Mismatched pairs in public spaces (usually cops do these things in pairs. They don’t talk to each other or acknowledge each other much, if at all)

DO NOT SAY ANYTHING UNTIL YOU ARE 100% SURE

YOUR BEST BET IS NOT TO SAY ANYTHING UNTIL THE SUSPECT STARTS ACTING OFF AND GETTING PUSHY

COPS ARE NOT OBLIGATED TO TELL YOU THAT THEY ARE UNDERCOVER

COPS CAN AND WILL LIE TO YOU

SCREAM “LA MIGRA” AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS

For protesting:

N95 masks

Respirator/gas mask if you have access to one

Water water water water water (I hate to say it, but disposable one use bottles are best here. If it comes to it, you need to be able to drop and run.) Use for flushing wounds, flushing eyes of tear gas, and of course drinking.

Snacks! You'll be doing a lot of walking and/or running and need to keep that energy up. Trail mix, dried fruit, nuts, granola bars, crackers, jerky/meat sticks, fruit snacks, candy, etc. Think of it like packing your lunchbox for a field trip.

Eyedrops (teargas is a bitch)

Goggles (I bring my old snowboarding goggles)

If you are wearing a t-shirt or have exposed skin, put on fake/temporary tattoos. If you are brought into something and they say you were there, showing a picture of you with the tattoos, show them where that tattoo would be and how there’s nothing there. How would you get rid of a giant flower on your forearm in 2 days anyways?

Wigs fall under the same category as tattoos. The person they're claiming to be you has a blonde bob and you have green hair past your shoulders.It also makes it possible to go with a completely different color without the use of hair dye. This means if they try to arrest you later and try to prove it was you by taking your hair and testing for dye, it won't come back the way they hope. (Thank you @violetrosepetals for this addition!)

Hide your hair. I tuck my hair into my beanie since it’s short. If you have longer hair, try to do the same or tuck it into your shirt. Balaclavas are also a good choice, as they cover both your face and hair.

Power bank

Chargers

Helmet. Any is fine, my personal choice is a skating helmet since they’re rounder and can take more damage, but tactical is also good

Hand sanitizer

Gloves with hard knuckles (tactical gloves). These pack a good punch even if you don't have the correct form. Don't have those? Wrist guards for roller skating/skateboarding work kinda like that too. More of a slapping motion, but still hurt like a bitch. Extra points if they're all scuffed up from use and falls.

Bandanas. Somebody might need one for their face or hair, maybe you need to get dirt off somebody’s face, maybe somebody got injured. They’re great for anything and everything.

Cash (try to stick to cash, your card can be tracked)

Medications if you take them. If you get arrested or happen to somehow be away for longer than expected after the protest, it’s always good to have emergency meds

FIRST AID ALL THE FIRST AID (Tourniquet, Quikclot, chest seal, trauma shears, gauze, bandages, duct tape, and all the usual stuff you’d have in there)

Good shoes. Boots and sneakers are your best choices. Not heels, not platforms, not sandals. Good boots or shoes that won't come off your feet too easily when you run. Steel toed shoes are a great option. Your toes won't be squashed, but also it'll hurt someone a lot more if you start kicking.

Spare socks. Trust me. You can use them to stop bleeding if it comes to it, but also you can put rocks in there and boom weapon. Also if the socks you're wearing get wet.

As much covering clothing as you can handle. Plain jeans, plain hoodie, plain t-shirt, keep yourself as anonymous as possible. Black and baggy is best.

Photocopy of your ID, not your real one.

Sunscreen!

Make sure your clothes have pockets, even if you have a bag. You want everything to be easily accessible.

Do not wear contact lenses. If tear gas is used, that will make everything so much worse. Wear your glasses or go blind. If you have overly unique or identifiable frames, goggles are your friend here. Get some goggles that will fit over your frames, preferably ones that are tinted.

If you use mobility aids, cover defining features. Logos, brand names, colors, stickers, all of it. Take some old plain t-shirt and tie it around your wheelchair’s backrest. Wrap your wheelchair frame in cling wrap, then duct tape, or plain black self adhering medical tape. Cover stickers on your cane or crutches the same way. Electric chair? You have a little more work, but you can do it. Wrap it up. Same idea. Walker? Same thing. Cover. It. All.

If you are bringing a bag, make sure that bag is as plain as possible. No pins. No patches. No keychains. Except maybe a pride flag so people know which team you're playing on.

Scarf or keffiyeh if you have one. They have many uses!

Write a reliable phone number (of someone who is not at the protest with you) on your body. On the off chance you get arrested, that is your emergency contact.

Pocket knife.

Pepper spray/mace/bear spray

if you get tear gassed, shake around first before using water. Most tear gas is more of a powder and water has a high likelihood of just spreading it around. (Thank you @actually-a-bread-loaf for this addition!)

Tennis rackets also work wonderfully for chucking tear gas canisters back at those throwing them. Anybody asks, you're going out to play tennis with friends later. Baseball bats also work! (Thank you @azul-nova-24 for this addition!)

Anything you can throw. Soup for my family.

IF YOU CAN, LEAVE YOUR PHONE AT HOME

IF YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT WITH YOU, TURN OFF LOCATION SERVICES ON ALL APPS AND TURN OFF BIOMETRICS (FACE ID AND FINGERPRINT) SO YOU CAN ONLY UNLOCK YOUR PHONE WITH YOUR PASSWORD

COPS CAN FORCE YOU TO OPEN YOUR PHONE WITH YOUR FINGERPRINT OR FACE ID

MAKE SURE SOMEBODY KNOWS GENERALLY WHERE YOU ARE

If you see a potential or active raid, take pictures and note the time and location. Post online if you can, as well.

You have the right to remain silent. State that you wish to remain silent. Avoid giving information about anybody's immigration status. You have the right to refuse to sign anything before speaking to an attorney. You have the right to refuse searches of your car, your home, and yourself. Schools do not collect a child's immigration status.

I do not want to scare anybody, but this is what life is right now. That man does not care how long you have been a citizen of this country. If you are not a white, cisgender, heterosexual, Christian male, you are seen as less than by men in power. You are not less than. You are a threat to them, and they are scared. Keep it that way.

Even if you're not currently protesting, it's good to know this just in case. Things are happening very quickly, and there is a very high chance of it changing very quickly within the next four years.

Here's the link to my post on what to bring in terms of first aid.

If you cannot attend protests, that’s fine. Do what’s best for you. Even just reposting information helps.

This is an updated version of this post,

Updated January 27, 2025.

Being Bigender- what it’s like.

I know there are already a few posts about being bigender and what it means, but I kind of wanted to make my own so I could share some of my own knowledge and experiences on being bigen.

Bigender: The Definition

Bigender is a gender identity described as being two genders- either simultaneously [both genders at the same time], fluidly [switching between the two] or partially [sort of like being a percentage/amount of each]. It falls under the nonbinary umbrella and is one of the many multigender identities out there, one of the more well known ones in fact [genderfluid probably being the most well known].

Q- Do the two genders have to be “Girl and Boy”?

Absolutely not. This is probably the most asked bigender-related question that I know of, and I’d like for it to be known that the two genders you experience do not have to be binary. A bigender preson could be a combination of a binary gender and nonbinary gender [example: girl and agender] or two nonbinary genders [example: androgyne and neutrois]. Bigender is not defined as only being man and woman.

Difference between Bigender and Genderfluid

Bigender and genderfluid may share some similar aspects, but the main difference is that bigender is just defined as being any two genders, and it’s not a requirement to be fluid between them. Genderfluid is shifting between multiple genders, which doesnt have to be limited to two or only binary genders. These can overlap and can used simultaneously as a label if you wish, but essentially these are very different identities.

Q- If you’re bigender, are you trans? Or half-trans or something? 

Y’know, that’s just up to the bigender/nonbinary individual to decide. I don’t consider myself trans, and for a while I didn’t even consider myself nonbinary. I’m not cis, and I relate a lot to transgender experiences- so sure, I could technically consider myself trans. But it’s not something that appeals to me as a label, so I don’t really use it. You can just be you, and you don’t have to be a part of the trans community or even in the nonbinary community if you don’t want to. 

You can also have surgery/ name change/ go on hormones if you’re bigender btw, it’s alllll up to you.

Presentation

And another thing- no, you do not have to present/dress like both of your genders to be bigender. Or switch between clothing or whatever. You can present however you like- clothing doesn’t dictate your identity in any way. It’s just fabric. Wear it however you want! 

For example, I prefer to only present as masculine.

Q- Do you have to be 50% / half of both genders to be bigender?

Nope. If the genders are not felt simultaneously or fluidly and are instead felt partially each, then the metaphorical “percentage” can be anything. A bigender person may feel 60% one gender and 40% the other, or someone else may be more 70% and 30%, and then sometime they can even be 10% or 90% or even 1% and 99% and etc, etc, etc. 

If the amount of gender experienced can be at any percent, what’s to stop me from calling myself demigender instead of bigender?

[Demigender- feeling partially, but not fully a gender. Common names are demigirl, demiboy, etc.]

The truth is, similar to how [bi]sexual/romantic, [poly]sexual/romatic and [pan]sexual/romantic all overlap, and it’s really up to the person to choose which label they prefer, it’s up to the bigender/demigender individual to choose what they’d want to call themselves, because these terms CAN* overlap as well. 

*ALSO. IMPORTANT. Demigenders don’t necessarily only experience two genders. A few people have corrected me on this mistake- demigenders can also experience more than two or even only experience the one gender they feel the most, without needing another gender to fill up the metaphorical space. It’s just defined as experiencing mostly but not entirely a gender. 

Q- Do you have to have separate sets of pronouns for each gender, or even two chosen names?

Nah. This isn’t a requirement. You can be bigender and have as many or as little names or sets of pronouns as you want, and they don’t have to “match” your genders either. A boy/girl bigender could use only one name and use they/them, or an agender/boy bigender could be using two names and she/her + he/him, or neopronouns, or etc. The combinations are endless, so it’s up to the individual to figure out what they want.

And again, the names do not have to necessarily correspond with your genders by society’s standards- by which i mean you don’t have to have a “boy” name or a “girl” name or a neutral name unless that’s what you want.

They/Them

They/them (at least in the English language) are definitely considered THE neutral pronouns and like the go-to to use for anyone. And they usually are, there’s nothing wrong with that- it’s good to use on strangers, people you don’t know the pronouns of, or people who just prefer those pronouns- all very good situations to use them in! However, I’d also like to point out- as I don’t see it pointed out much- that it is not applicable to those who you know the pronouns of and they don’t include it in their list of pronouns/ express that they don’t like it used on them. It’s not a good way to get around using pronouns you’re uncomfortable with/ don’t want to make an effort to use either. It’s not a good alternative to someone’s neopronouns, or multiple/fluxuating pronouns, or just to use on anyone who doesn’t want them used. Just don’t. 

This applies to every gender identity, not just bigenders. 

Q- If I’m bigender, how does that affect my other orientations? Should I consider myself bi, gay, etc?

Unfortunately, currently popular lgbt+ terms [especially in relation to sexuality or romantic orientation] are not really suited for nonbinary people. There isn’t much of a way to describe our attraction unless you’re pansexual/romantic or aroace, so there isn’t really a good answer to this, other than you’ll have to figure out what sounds best to you. Like, what would it mean for a boy/girl bigender person to consider themselves gay [not just as an umbrella term]? Would they be only interested in other bigender people, or would that mean they like both girls and boys? See, there isn’t really a perfect solution. Personally I call myself asexual and pan grey-aromantic, which means that I feel no sexual attraction and rarely feel any romantic attraction, but if I do it can be to anyone regardless of gender. I feel like this covers me pretty well, so it’s up to you to make do with whatever terminology you have available [or if you want, just make your own]!

What it’s like being bigender

Well for starters, no two bigender people are the same, nor have the same experiences. I am probably the most stereotypical form of bigender- I’m boy/girl, I use he/him and she/her pronouns, and I even have two names, in fact one is a “boy” name and the other is a “girl” name. As much as I’d like to share alternative bigender stories, I can only tell you mine, so keep in mind that this isn’t the universal truth for all of us.

For me, I’m simultaneously both of my genders- I’m not 70% one and 30% the other, nor am I fluid between the two. At all times, I feel 100% girl and 100% boy. “Isn’t that the same as androgyne?” somebody may want to ask [maybe]. Well, no. In the form of a visual, pretend there are two tinted lenses [say, yellow and blue] and stacking them on top of each other makes green, while still being separate physically. Androgyne would be more like just having a green tinted lense, without needing to stack anything.

Anyway, how is it like? My insight to being bigender in the real world is well, kind of uneventful, as I’m extremely closeted and don’t intend to come out any time soon. Most of my experiences happen internally. I sometimes get annoyed that people use only one set of pronouns for me, because although I don’t mind he or she, I would still prefer for them both to be used at about the same amount. [I try to even it out by playing games where I get to choose to have my other pronouns used]. I feel comfortable using any binary-gendered terms for myself [ex: queen, king, brother, etc] and it’s funny to me when people “correct” themselves after saying something that isn’t usually associated with my agab [because I don’t pass]. I can relate to a lot to both female and male experiences. I get uncomfortable when people tell me I’m just one gender [ex: calling me just a boy/girl, repeatedly]. I do have dysphoria, both social and physical. I plan on getting surgery someday. I actually only discovered I was bigender last summer, so less than a year ago. That’s my story.

Canon bigender representation in the media [That I know of]

There is none, lol. Zilch none. Multigender people often get thrown under the bus when it comes to any rep, and the most we get is the occasional genderfluid character [Magnus Chase, Adventure time, some animes]. Although, I guess you could consider BMO from adventure time bigender, as BMO has fluctuaites between she/her and he/him pronouns in the show [but I think the writers confirmed BMO as genderfluid, not bigender]. And Marco Diaz from Star vs the forces of evil HAS been sort of coded as bigender, but in the newest season the writers seem to have completely butchered that and it’s kinda a train wreck right now so. Idk. Anyways, even if this was official confirmed-by-the-creators canon, then they still stick to the stereotypical binary bigenders and although that’s very relatable to me, I’d like to see more diverse bigen characters. So that’s my insight on that.

If anyone knows of any actually canon bigender rep then hit me up lmao, I’d really love to know about it. I might make a list.

Q- How can I write a bigender character?

Read everything above, so you at least have some standard knowledge about it. If you have additional questions, my ask is always open and you are also free to message me privately. I’ll be glad to help anyone out who has trouble with this, or anything bigender related really.

Only SOME of the other multigenders that are similar/relate to Bigender [for those who may want to know more]

Trigender- Like bigender, but experiencing three genders instead of two

Polygender- experiencing multiple genders but not all.

Pangender- same thing but as all genders [this however, does not include genders that aren’t within your experiences, because there are some genders that belong to indigenous groups and cultures and more that can only be used by those who belong in those groups. Pangender has gained some controversy because of this, so remember that it never includes anything one can’t claim.]

Demigender- feeling partially but not totally a gender.

Genderfluid- being fluid between genders [can be any genders, any amount of them and for any amount of time]

If you feel like I need to change anything about this post, then I’m open to suggestions/criticism as I’m never satisfied with what I write and am willing to make changes as needed! 

Sex stuff you probably won’t learn from fanfiction and/or porn:

Erotic fic and porn can be a lot of fun! But if you aren’t being provided with adequate sex ed through other channels (comprehensive sexual education, frank and open discussions with trusted adults, etc.), turning to fanfic and porn for your understanding of sex is gonna leave some major blindspots and may leave you with some unrealistic expectations. While there’s nothing wrong with these kinds of erotica, they are fictional and tend to leave out a lot of the more realistic, human parts of sex - they serve a great purpose, but that purpose isn’t primarily educational. The following is an incomplete list of some things you should probably know about sex that a lot of fic and porn tends to leave out:

It isn’t always super hot or super sweet. Sometimes it’s super silly. Or sometimes it’s sort of mundane and you’re both simply scratching an itch. That’s fine too. (Hell, sometimes you’re talking about comic books while boning and your partner is laughing that you’re getting REALLY ANGRY about spider-man while they’re going to town on you.)

You will probably not climax at the same moment. It’s a sweet idea, but extremely hard to coordinate, and if all your concentration is going into coming at the exact same moment, you’re probably not enjoying yourselves as much as you might. 

Sometimes bodies make weird, goofy noises. Squelching, slapping, air-escaping, un-sexy noises. It’s okay to laugh at this. 

Hell, it’s okay to laugh during sex in general.

Sometimes you fart. Sometimes you fart while someone is going down on you and it is embarrassing as hell. This isn’t the end of the world. Embarrassing body things happen. Heck, sometimes, with anal, there’s a little poo. You get over it.

Sometimes sex is… kinda bad? This doesn’t mean it’s assault, or something traumatic – sometimes it’s consensual but just kinda bleh and not what you hoped for. The best thing to do (if you’re talking about sex with a partner and not just a hook up who you can not call back) is talk to them about it. Figure out what went wrong, what you enjoy and what you don’t, and communicate what techniques you do and don’t like. Also don’t be afraid to stop someone in the middle of the sex act you’re not enjoying and offer guidance on how to help make it good for you too. (Side tip: masturbation makes great research into what you personally do and don’t enjoy sexually)

You won’t enjoy every sex act. Not every body is wired to find every thing pleasurable. You might find anal does nothing for you. You may find g-spot stimulation just makes you really anxious that you’re about to pee. You may not enjoy giving or receiving oral. You’re not broken if you don’t like something that every pornstar or smutty fanfic protagonist seems to have earth-shattering orgasms from. Everyone’s got nerve endings in a range of places – it’s quite literally, different strokes for different folks.

On that note, not all orgasms are earth-shattering. Sometimes it just feels warm and nice. That’s fine too. 

Sometimes, if you’re neutral on a sex act and your partner loves it, you can suck it up for them, and they’ll suck up something they’re not crazy about for your pleasure in return. But communicate preferences with each other! Know that when a partner does that thing you love that they don’t get much from, that it’s an act of care, and vice versa. 

Falling asleep in each other’s arms right after wild passionate sex seems really romantic, but dried and crusty fluids are gonna be a bitch in the morning. Also, after sex, you should both (regardless of your equipment) go pee to clear out the urethra of any gunk or bacteria to reduce risk of a UTI. 

Putting a towel down on the bed before sex means you don’t have to sleep on wet funky sheets. (it’s also verrrrrry useful for period sex if you or your partner menstruate.)

A lot of people don’t like dirty talk, or rough sex. Always ask first. (Fanfic on the whole does a better job than porn at showing communication, but a lot of it is still highly fictive on this point)

PROTECTION PROTECTION PROTECTION. Use condoms, dental dams, etc. not just to prevent pregnancy, but to reduce risk of STIs. (Yes, even couples with the same genitals who don’t need to worry about pregnancy).

Lube is great and very important, but random goopy things around you are not good lube. Random oils especially, since oil doesn’t flush out well and can trap bacteria inside the body – oil-based lubricant also degrades condoms. Use lube specifically designed for intimate purposes. Water-based and silicone-based lubes help sex feel really good!

Bigger isn’t necessarily better. A lot of people with vaginas don’t enjoy the feeling of being repeatedly punched in the cervix by a monster cock. Some people enjoy a larger size when being penetrated by an appendage or toy and some don’t.

Bodies are hairy. Genitals are hairy. You may get a pube stuck in your teeth at some point. If your partner is WAY fuzzier than porn ever led you to believe they’d be, well, that’s normal. 

Not everyone loves the taste of ejaculate. Sometimes it’s nasty (flavor tends to vary from person to person depending on their diet, but sometimes you just really don’t like it no matter what. Some of us hate the taste of peanut butter. People don’t always like things). It’s okay not to swallow, or to request a penis-having partner warn you so they don’t ejaculate in your mouth (in fact, it’s polite for them to do the latter). 

If you’re gonna have shower sex, get one of those rubbery mats for the shower floor that gives you traction, because otherwise it’s super embarrassing to call for an ambulance while dripping wet and naked because you slipped and accidentally broke something and your partner got a concussion while you were trying to bang in the shower. 

Moaning and screaming wildly during sex is fun but it will make the neighbors in the apartments adjacent to you hate you. Make choices accordingly. 

Huh. The more you know.

An Enamel pin information Carrd for anyone whose looking into making them or who just wanna learn more about them! Made by me :3

Enamel pins

Enamel pins

Enamel pin explination

Oh my word the amount of times I’ve gotten “are you available for commission?” commented on art that I posted 2 seconds ago. Instant red flag for such a quick reply.

Also check out the pages of anyone who tries to commission you through tumblr! If they have 0 posts or reblogs that’s an instant sign it’s an empty bot acc

Stay safe from scammers!

Hey guys let me tell you about advance fee scams

I hope y'all are familiar with these in this day and age, especially my artists out there, because they're incredibly common.

About half an hour ago I posted a drawing and tagged it #artists on tumblr, and very quickly received this comment.

My scam radar went off immediately, due to the generic blog name and lack of any emotion in the comment, but I decided it might be an entertaining venture so I dmed them. They asked for a drawing "of these", and sent me a random selfie. I got the details and told them it would be $15, and they promptly offered me $300. At this point I know it's a scam, but I play along for funsies and give them my paypal. Shortly, they send me this image for "confirmation" (I blocked out my email)

And they began to insist that I checked my email. I looked in my spam folder and found the following email.

This is fake. This is not a thing. And the "you're to refund the $200.00 back" is the scam. They send vaguely official-looking emails at you to "prove" that they sent you the money, then have you send them $200 (or however much the scam is for). Then, surprise surprise, you're out $200.

I continued to play along for a bit, and in the second email "Paypal" told me that I had to refund the $200 before they could "credit the $300 to my account", along with these lovely threats.

And yeah, it's silly. But it's not silly if you don't know and get scammed. So. Spread, please! And thank you very much to @mlaurel for the opportunity to get these screenshots.

AO3 has been scraped, once again.

As of the time of this post, AO3 has been scraped by yet another shady individual looking to make a quick buck off the backs of hardworking hobby writers. This Reddit post here has all the details and the most current information. In short, if your fic URL ends in a number between 1 and 63,200,000 (inclusive), AND is not archive locked, your fic has been scraped and added to this database.

I have been trying to hold off on archive locking my fics for as long as possible, and I've managed to get by unscathed up to now. Unfortunately, my luck has run out and I am archive locking all of my current and future stories. I'm sorry to my lovelies who read and comment without an account; I love you all. But I have to do what is best for me and my work. Thank you for your understanding.

Read books guys

I'm telling you. Read books. There's an entire world of dead useful knowledge contained. There are so many books that have a TON of useful information while also being easier to read than textbooks.

Listen, I know the internet's gone to pieces. Misinformation is practically the only thing you can be certain of with any search engine.

But books.

I mean yeah, there are books that are inaccurate. Or outdated. But for the most part, if someone cares enough to compile so much information on a subject together into a book, they care enough to make sure it's right. After all, it's not so easy to edit it like a blog once it's published. They're not spending so much time and labor putting together random units of information they stumbled across on the internet. They're doing this with genuine research and careful time and knowledge.

Let me emphasize one more time that there are so many books with real information that are NOT COLLEGE TEXTBOOKS (though those can be incredible sources of information too!). There is real information out there in very easy to process formats if you're willing to open a book and thumb through the index, table of contents, or even just all the pages.

...I mean, it does require us to care a little bit. It's certainly not as fast and convenient as a quick internet search. But it is so much more reliable, and if you care to know more about a subject I think it's important to care enough to get some solid information about it and not just a once-and-done.

Side note, did you know the Dewey Decimal System has a number for everything? Actually everything? Want to pick up a book on crochet or leatherworking? Dewey's got you. Learn about moths? Yup. Politics? Public speaking? Languages? Writing? Architecture? Librarians have master's degrees specifically so they can help you find things in the DDS (and also for other reasons but ya know).

very informative

ive been rickrolled twice today

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

Blah? Blah.

Oxford apartments neighbor speaking about Jeffrey Dahmer

One evening in June of 1990, I held my first conversation with our neighbor who lived across the hall. I introduced myself to him as Vern and he introduced himself to me as Jeff.

He appeared to be very polite as he and I stood in the hall in front of our apartments. He stated he was leaving to go to the corner store to buy a pack of cigarettes and when he saw I had a pack in my shirt pocket he asked if I had a cigarette I could spare.

Of all the times I had seen this guy he was always casually dressed in faded jeans, a flannel shirt and casual shoes. He wore glasses and his hair was cut medium length always looking well groomed. He had the appearance of a college student or someone who had been to college. He was clean shaven and had boyish look.

I guess the word I would choose to describe my impression of him is intelligent, highly intelligent. He had a slim built appearing to be 6 feet tall, weighing maybe 165 pounds. I'd guess his age to be 30 or 31 years old.

Through the times that I'd see him our conversations would mainly be small talk about my car, my job, the weather, his job and the building or something of that nature. He always appeared to be soft spoken as we would stop in the hall on his way in or out of his apartment.

Never did he give me any impression that he had hang ups about living in a dominantly black building or living in the neighborhood which also was dominantly black. As time went on Pam also had begun to have small conversations with him. She also thought that he was pretty pleasant to talk to. We were neighborly with all the tenants living in the building.

Being that I was the only black man at my place of employment and Pam being raised in Madison where blacks were few, neither she nor I had a problem with him being white. Our typical conversations went something like this whenever we would talk to each other in the hall.

"What's happening?"

"Hey Vern, not much."

He would notice that I would be just getting in from work most of the evenings when we'd see each other...

"How was your day?"

"Not too bad," I'd reply. From earlier conversations in our passing, I had informed him that I was a Draftsman. He like-wise told me he worked 3rd shift at a chocolate factory downtown and that he's been employed there for a couple of years.

"Do you have to punch in tonight?"

"Yeah, got to pay rent."

"Talk to you later," I'd respond. His reply was... "yeah, take care."

There had been various other conversations and I must admit talking to him made me feel appreciative of our small conversations. I felt sad for the guy living alone, never seeing him associate with anyone or have friends visit him at his apartment.

Amongst all of the tenants in the building Jeff stood out the most, not only because he was white but to me because he never had visitors or a girlfriend which to me appeared strange but not the type of out of the way strange. He was always alone.

He didn't own a car therefore, his means of transportation was the city bus. After becoming acquainted with him, we'd see Jeff standing on the bus stop or getting off the bus walking towards the apartment building.

He appeared to be weird to the other tenants but I never thought of him as such because of the fact that the area where we lived was nothing but a danger zone and keeping to himself was a safe thing to do. It was not safe for anyone walking that didn't fit in.

It was no surprise to see Jeff wearing his light gray jacket walking at 9:00pm through someone's backyard or taking a short cut through the alley headed towards the Oxford Building. He'd walk among dope peddlers to have them approach him and ask him "you looking..?" "You straight..?"

Meaning do you want to buy drugs but He would either shake his head negatively or ignore the peddlers all together.

He would be approached by addicts trying to con him in any way possible for money and women working the streets would confront him with offers of sexual pleasures for money but he would ignore them all.

I recall once telling Pam that I thought he had a lot of heart to live in this area. He never showed any sign of being fearful, he didn't have a kick ass type of attitude. It was more of an "I don't bother you and you don't bother me" type of attitude.

In June there was a series of burglaries and apartments in our building were broken into. Everyone was on lookout for any strangers walking through the halls. The police were called and they questioned everyone that lived in the building to see if anyone may have seen anyone or knew anything. Two apartments were broken into and everyone in the Oxford Apartments had high concerns about the break-ins.

The tenants began to look out for each other's apartments when the tenant was away. I had two of my nearest neighbor's phone numbers and I had also given them our number to inform each other when we were going to be out of our apartments. Our neighbor Jeff had gotten a phone but said he had it for only a week or so because he couldn't afford the bill.

"Hey Jeff, we're starting to look out for each other's apartment due to the break-ins. Give me your telephone number so that we can call you to just let you know when we're not going to be in so that you can keep an eye on our apartment."

"Vern, my phone was turned off because I'm having a hard enough time paying my rent and feeding myself, so there's no reason to give me your phone number. I do however intend to get a burglar alarm for when I'm away at nights working. There's no way I can afford to have my stuff ripped off and there's no real security around here that I trust."

"Yeah, it's getting pretty tough around here." I said.

"Yeah Vern I know what you mean. Any news about the guys' stuff that was stolen?"

"None! You know how that goes."

"Well I'll talk to you later."

"Sure Jeff, later."

Extract from Vernell Bass’ book “Across the Hall”, chapter 2. If you’re interested to know more support the author and get the book!

The Dahmer Case and The Cannibalism Topic

“Cannibal” was the adjective used by media to refer Dahmer the most as they learnt of the man’s gruesome acts. It was synonymous of terror and horror at that time, the name of Jeffrey Dahmer echoed not only in the city of Milwaukee but also around the entire world. It was unusual to hear of a criminal who eat his victims, it was a shocking news, and the name of Jeffrey Dahmer was remembered under the name of "The Milwaukee Cannibal”. But what was behind this name? What did it mean for Dahmer and where's cannibalism come from?

Jeffrey Dahmer in 1991

The Cannibalism for Jeffrey Dahmer

The cannibalism act didn’t occur immediately but it happened later with his sixth victim Raymond Smith (aka Ricky Beeks). Jeffrey Dahmer just moved in his new apartment in Milwaukee, at 924 N. 25th St., and he was ready to live by himself after leaving his grandma's house. It was already some years that Dahmer decided to attend gay clubs, where he frequently had encounters with strangers for one night stands. It was 1990 and Dahmer already doped and raped many boys, killing five of them too. But it was starting to not be enough, Dahmer was unsatisfied and he needed more. Cannibalism presented itself as a "simple" next step for Dahmer: after experiencing gay sex, to then having an unconscious body on his hands, on wishing to preserve all that pleasure, and seeing the people as objects, cannibalism subsequently followed as a inevitable action.

Dahmer's desire was to keep people with him, to do not forget the experiences he had with them. The previous attempts as doping the person or seeking for a corpse were a way to feel people close to him at his complete availability for Dahmer, motionless. He thought about the next step: "I began to feel that I needed more of a rush. I thought to myself, I want more. I wanted to keep this one, but I wanted him in me. I wanted him to become a part of me. That's when the idea of eating part of his body occurred to me." (- s. Grilling Dahmer). Dahmer's act wasn't a way to feel more evil or powerful, this was an action of a man who wanted to feel his victims closer. It happened again on his act on cutting and wearing the victims' skin, he wanted to become one with them, wrapped on their skins. At the end he also had the idea of "creating" living zombies willing to follow his orders and to stay with him forver.

The first article ever published on July 23, 1991, on The Journal, written by reporter Anne E. Schwartz, the first and only reporter to come to the scene visiting Dahmer's apartment.

Public’s Take on Dahmer’s Cannibalism

Predictably, people's reaction to Dahmer's cannibalism was shock. Local Milwaukee citizens didn't expect something like Dahmer's case to happen, Milwaukee was a pretty quiet city in Wisconsin where nothing like that ever happened. Soon the morning after Dahmer's arrest, Oxford apartments were already printed in the first page of The Journal, and Jeffrey Dahmer's case was already in people's mouth.

The most concerning, disgusting and shoking element on the case was surely the cannibalism, as already expressed before. At the beginning the cannibalism was an unverified uncertain information, and the reporters had to confirm it by looking at the confession, but soon after that it quickly became a first page topic. Dahmer’s cannibalism was printed on the first pages of newspapers, aimed at shocking people even more. For this reason journals of that time looked for the most unconcerning news, making fake news at times as well. Cannibalism became a topic of so much discussion, almost distorted, the main Dahmer’s case object to be so overused that journalists kept inventing fake news just to shock people even more. They made Dahmer appear like a sadistic monster who felt pleasure when eating all his victims, while the story was quite different as expressed in the paragraph before. Even Dahmer himself had fun with these kind of articles: “Isn't it amazing what they come up with?” he said.

(1)(2)Two articles taking about Dahmer’s cannibalism. (1) Courtesy of jdapt213. (3) Dahmer showing the fake news in court, 1992.

Specialists talking about Dahmer's cannibalism

Psychiatrists and experts tried to give an explaination on Dahmer’s cannibalism. Writer Brian Masters develops an interesting point when talking about infantile play, of parents pretending to be animal ready to devour them and the kids responding to be ferocious cannibal animals. Dr Morrisons also says: "Jeffrey Dahmer was not the only individual who was a cannibal or bit his victims, using his teeth as a weapon. If you remember about infancy, if we go purely psychologically, the only way an infant interacts with the world around him is to touch, feel and teeth, and this is a way that babies explore their world with their mouths. That’s what they use, that’s how they relate to the world. What is evident in all the serial murders is this trait of very oral or mouthing or biting or eating, ingesting, which is very infantile. But it seems a way in which they can be with their victim.”

Even through sexual acts, mouth is an important way to express love. Activities as biting or oral sex rekindle the childish instinct where loving and eating are bounded together. “The adult who prefers oral sex above other sexual experiences indicates an infantile need for nourishment, a wish to recreate the moment of being mothered.” Brian Masters writes. If we look back at Dahmer’s infancy, we notice some early behaviours which indicates some connections to his cannibalism. As already expressed before, cannibalism was just a consequence which came after as Dahmer’s needs continued to evolve. Yet Dahmer always had a lack of social skills, he had difficulties on creating bounds with other people and he was often so isolated. His father Lionel was out bacause of his job, while his mother Joyce struggled with her mental health. Jeffrey found himself alone with the mother's unconscious body some times, there it might have been the moment where he put his hear on his mother's chest to check if her heart was still working, action which was subsequentially repeated with his classmates in highschool and later with his victims. People always left, he was alone, and his lack of social bonds brought him to be even more introvert. Eating an individual is the deepest connection a person can ever get, it removes the feeling of alienation since the victim will live inside them forever and become a permanent part of themselves.

Jeffrey Dahmer's drawing project on creating a shrine where to put his victims' skulls and skeletons, a place to remember and collect his thoughts (Dahmer - 1993 interview).

Cannibalism in history and religion

In modern society cannibalism is almost seen as a taboo, something vile and inhumane. However, this isn't an exact definition, and cannibalism is deeply rooted in our origins. During Europe’s Age of Exploration distant people were often portrayed as cannibals, almost rapesented as bestial creatures. Instead, during 20th Century, the figure of the cannibal was studied more, the new approach wanted to explain more of this behavior, inserted into a certain context. The reasons that lead people to a person could be multiple: a warrior could eat the heart of his opponent to feel more powerful and take his power; a person can eat a relative body to express love and grief for the loss; or again some people can eat a human body as a necessity to survive.

The firsts reports on cannibalism can be found in ancient Greek times with the epic poem The Odyssey by Homer or Histories by Herodotus, but anthropologists suggest that cannibalism dates back to prehistoric times. Moving on, the discovery of cannibals by Cristoforo Colombo in America made people question about the topic on Christian doctrine of the resurrection for example. For that reason Christianity is probably the best example to take in consideration: one fo the most diffused religion in the world, the tenet of paganism, has a mystic ritual of "eating and drinking" the flesh and blood of Christ. For love, the person can be ate, based on this religion. In other cultures, the Iroquois and Fijians ate the flesh of their defeated enemies in order to absorb their power; for peoples of Papua New Guinea ate the heart or brains of their deceased elders to honour them; In medieval and modern European culture the practice of eating human was prevalent for religious or medicinal purposes. About medicinal purposes again, Chinese compounds included human organs as well as nails and hair, while, in early Greece, human blood was thought to treat epilepsy.

The Sons of Pindorama, Cannibalism in Brazil in 1557 as described by Hans Staden. Gravure de Théodore de Bry, 1562.

Cannibalism around the world

Dahmer was obviosly not the first criminal cannibal, names as Albert Fish, Issei Sagawa and Andrei Chikatilo are still remembered for their crimes and their cannibalism. As said before, the reason of cannibalism change based on the person and his deeds- the cannibal Armin Meiwes (aka Rotenburg Cannibal) ate 20 kilograms (44 lb) of human flesh of his victim, after that this last one agreed and wanted to be slaughtered, for sexual pleasure; Joachim Kroll (aka The Ruhr Cannibal) had a practical view and consumed his victims’ meat to save on his grocery bills, because meat was expensive. Albert Fish, on the other hand, eating the meat of the victims was like a trophy and liked to describe how the kids tasted to their parents.

Today, cannibalism among the population is rare, but still exists. Because of poverty, people living in Olinda slum are usual to consume human meat. Otherwise, there are tribes and cultures where cannibalism is still present. In Western New Guinea there’s a tribe called Korowai, whose tribesmen believe mysterious deaths are attributed to a demon, and their duty is to consume the dead’s meat in order to take revenge. In Fiji (previously named “Cannibal Island”) was famous for cannibalism, even if now this practice almost died out in the recent years. In India there’s a sect of Indian Monks called Aghori, whose few remaining members are used to drink from human skulls and cover their body in burnt human remains. There are also rumours of some cannibalism acts happened in The Democratic Republic of The Congo, Cambodia, Nuku Hiva and Liberia.

In animals cannibalism is common as well, mostly in invertebrates and fishes, but it occurs in other animal groups too. The filial cannibalism (usually when the young can’t last much because is sick, deformed or the mother can’t provide enough food, it becomes nutrient for the parent) is present in major species as leopards, African lions, Tonkean Macaques and fishes. The infanticide (males killing infants who aren’t theirs) is present in North American red squirrels, lions and chimpanzees. The matriphagy is when the mother is ate by the infants, another cannibalism form diffused within insects and arachnids. At last but not least, cannibalism can be diffused way earlier with eggs. The Burton’s Mouthbrooders carry their eggs in their mouths, and sometimes more than three-quarters eggs are been ingested. The female sharks instead, carry hundreds on eggs inside them, while they’re mating with multiple male sharks. Inside the womb, developing sharks will eat the unfertilised eggs and their siblings, leaving at the end only two unborn sharks, each one for each uterus.

(1) Tadpoles eating another tadpole, picture by Georgette Douwma, Nature Picture Gallery. (2) Korowai tribesmen, picture by Kristian Cabanis.

Sources: The Shrine of Jeffrey Dahmer; Grilling Dahmer; Monster: The True Story Of The Jeffrey Dahmer Murders; Britannica; Anthroencyclopedia; Jeffrey Dahmer trails on Court.tv; NBC; The Sun; National Geographic.

Jeffrey Dahmer was a terrifying person and no one should forget that

Because of the Dahmer Netflix series, always more people approached the case and informed themselves by reading books or following old interviews. Jeffrey Dahmer’s figure is been brought back and became subject of discussion worldwide again after 30 years. He became a trend topic but it has also aroused much criticism, especially from the families of the victims.

But Jeffrey Dahmer was different, he was a unique type of serial killer, and this is the reason why he made people feel so fascinated. His crimes were gruesome, horrible and extreme, something that the human mind struggles to understand, yet Jeffrey Dahmer wasn’t a sadistic psychopath and he felt some kind of remorse too. At the end, he also wanted and tried to help victims’ families he felt sorry to. He’s indeed a man who surprised people with his behaviors and so many people came close trying to figure him out. But like a double-edged sword, some people’s response isn't all puppy dogs and rainbows.

Jeffrey Dahmer in 1991 in his first court appearance - via The Milwaukee Journal

People felt close to him, after the news broke out many people find themselves to feel for Jeffrey. It’s not a very big new news, the most infamous serial killers always found out themselves having “groupies” often assisting at their trials, or people writing to them stating how similar they felt. In the worst occasions, it was a case of Hybristophilia.

In modern days the same thing is happening and it’s too easy to forget the man’s abhorrent crimes. Too easily people tend to minimize the eerie of the acts, making appear Jeffrey like a wounded victim as well. Jeffrey suffered for some things too, and had a couple of mental diseases. It was undeniable that he too was a human being and displayed of human emotions. “Humanising” a serial killer is not a bad thing, it makes us realise we don’t have a monster but another person. Defining a criminal “monster” or “devil” only help us to dissociate from him, not considering him “one of us”. It makes us feel safer, having a demoniac entity to point the finger to, but the sad truth criminals are humans as well. Jeffrey was human.

Jeffrey Dahmer during Inside Edition interview with Nancy Glass in 1993.

But in the other side, some people tended to overemphasize the man’s problems too much, and made him become a new victim. But Jeffrey Dahmer was a murder first of all and took the life of 17 innocent people. He was selfish and careless, he saw people as objects for his own sexual purposes and he disposed of them when they were no longer needed.

“Reflecting on the invitation, Jackson remembered how he and Dahmer were outside on the rear landing. Dahmer on the steps going upstairs to the second floor while Jackson was below. Dahmer starred straight ahead, transfixed, never looking at Jackson when he extended the invitation.”

- From ‘Monster The True Story of Jeffrey Dahmer Murders’. Writer Anne E. Schwartz describes the meeting she had with a Oxford Apartments tenant Doug Jackson

Jeffrey Dahmer was aware of what he was doing, and even if he knew it was wrong, he allowed himself to act how he wanted. His modus operandi was the same: inviting the person at home, drugging them, raping them, killing them, using the corpse how he wanted to then disposing the body. Jeffrey Dahmer was responsible for the following crimes:

Serial murder

Rape

Child molestation

Sexual assault

Sexual harassment

Public nudity

Necrophilia

Cannibalism

Jeffrey Dahmer victims. From left to right: Steven Hicks; Steven Tuomi; James Doxtator; Eddie Smith; Oliver Lacy; Matt Turner; Ricky Beeks; Richard Guerrero; Ernest Miller; David Thomas; Joseph Bradehoft; Curtis Straughter; Errol Lindsey; Anthony Hughes; Konerak Sinthasomphone; Anthony Sears; Jeremiah Weinberger

“Konerak, colloquially known as ‘Khum’ or ‘Kolack’, was a friendly, high-spirited youngster who did not make enemies. The next evening, Saturday, 25 May, he went to a party at Crystal Palace with Laotian friends. On Sunday morning he took a shower at 10 a.m., then went downtown. That was the last time his brother saw him. The brother was called Somsack; for Konerak Sinthasomphone was about to be the second member of this immigrant family to fall into the hands of Jeffrey Dahmer”

- The Shrine Of Jeffrey Dahmer

Jeffrey’s first victim was named Steven Hicks. It was 1978 and Jeffrey was just 18 years old. He found himself alone at home and decided to take a ride with his car. It’s when he met Steven, a hitchhiker, and together reached Dahmer’s house to have some fun. June 18 1978, the last day Steven Hicks was seen alive, his parents were waiting for him to come home to celebrate his dad’s birthday. Dahmer killed him because he didn’t want to let him go, he tried to dispose the body throwing the parts from a ravine he knew but when a police office stopped him he decided to spread the rests on the yard behind his house. After 9 years he tried to behave correctly trying to moderate his impulses, but in September 15, 1987 he fell again and Steven Tuomi, a 24 years old man, became his second victim. Dahmer put him in a suitcase and disposed of the body at the grandma’s house. Following these two killing accidents, many more would follow, and Dahmer would eventually surrender. He gave in to his impulses, making a total of 17 victims, among which two were minors of 14 years old of age. In between of the years before the homicides arrest, Dahmer was arrested for other crimes as indecent exposure, disorderly conduct and sexual assault of a 13 year old boy, Somsak Sinthasomphone. After that he was followed by probation officer Donna Chester, they had to meet twice a week, and even if Dahmer was a cooperative client, he never expressed himself about the crimes he was committing and he didn’t seek for help. He continued to commit his crimes, drugging and raping attractive gay men he found, killing some as well. He kept rests of the victims, reducing what was left to three black garbage bags, and so from a day to another a human being was wiped off the face of the Earth. And more he continued, less careful he became, turning himself into a killing machine. He lost his job, he was going to loose the apartment as well, but he was only interested to follow a sexual pleasure, trying to find more boys to carry home. He wondered around the place unstoppably asking from a man to another to come to his house, when the escape of Tracy Edwards followed and Dahmer was subsequently arrested.

From left to right: Shirley Hughes, mother of Tony Hughes; Catherine Lacy, mother of Oliver Lacy; Dorothy Straughter, mother of Curtis Straughter

“One of his workmates, Richard Burton, was driving with a friend when he saw him standing on a street corner and gave him a ride. Dahmer said he wanted to get out of Wisconsin and go to Florida. Burton wished him luck, and he got out. To his friend, Burton said he thought Jeff had ‘lost it all’ – no job, no friends. A little later he spotted him again talking to a black man at a bus-stop.

On 21 July, after dismembering the body of Joseph Bradehoft, he was wandering around the Grand Avenue Mall where, in two separate incidents, he propositioned Hispanic men with the invitation to earn money by posing for pictures and watching videos. They were Joseph Rosa and Ricardo Ortiz. Both refused.

The events of 22 July depict a mind at once unfocused, listless, and delirious, unhinged. Dahmer got up late, in the midst of his human debris, and went out for a beer. Sopa Princewill accosts him in the corridor with a 40-ounce bottle, and warns him that he may not last until his lease runs out at the end of the month – he may be evicted sooner because his place smelt so awful. He listens, but does not react in any noticeable manner. He goes downtown and is walking along 3rd Street near Wells Street at 2 p.m. when he sees a black man sitting on a sidewalk bench. This is twenty-year-old Ormell Holmes. He asks Holmes if he wants to earn $50. What do I have to do for that? asks Holmes. Pose for pictures and drink some rum. Holmes indicates that he is not interested in that kind of thing, and Dahmer moves on. He approaches another man in the same street, with the same result.

He now goes to his favourite haunt, the Grand Avenue Mall, and has some fast food. He is seen there at 3.30 talking to a man on one of the benches. A little later, he asks a sixteen-year-old black boy called Anderson to come home with him and watch movies, and his offer is again declined. At 4.30 Dennis Campbell, who works at Milwaukee’s famous German restaurant, Karl Ratzch’s, is in the Mall with his girlfriend Julie Weyer, and goes to the men’s room on the first floor. Having urinated, he is drying his hands on a wall dryer when the door opens and a scruffy white man with several days’ growth of beard walks in and stands behind him, then moves beside him. There is no long preparatory choreography. The white man says straight out, ‘Do you want to make fifty dollars real quick?’ ‘Doing what?’ says Campbell. ‘Come to my apartment and watch videos.’ ‘I don’t think so,’ says Campbell, and the man, whom he thought ‘weird, creepy and very unusual’, says, ‘O.K.’ He told Julie about it afterwards and she laughed.”

- The Shrine of Jeffrey Dahmer

Jeffrey Dahmer and the question of the “inside”

Jeffrey Dahmer, 1978

The hernia operation

In the year 1964, the three/four year old kid Jeffrey Dahmer, complained due to a pain in the groin area. The doctors found out he suffered from a double hernia, and soon after that he got operated. The recovery isn’t been easy for the kid, the pain was a lot and he even asked if they cut out his penis.

The operation is been traumatic indeed. He was very little, left in the hands of the doctors who he didn’t even know. He was left in a unfamiliar place where strangers operated him in a very private part, while he was immobilized, unable to react, while doctors could see the inside of him. As much as this is the procedure and doctors simply did their job, this was a huge trauma for Jeffrey Dahmer to digest, and it’s when he lost trust in doctors.

The corpses

Jeffrey Dahmer had this morbid fascination towards dead bodies. It was since the early adolescence he went looking for roadkill, dissecting the dead animals he found on the road. He cut them up all along the stomach, from neck to the groin area, exposing the internal organs, to then end preserving the bones.

In the adult age the dissection shifted on human corpses. At first it was born as a necessity to dispose the bodies, but then Dahmer found pleasure on cutting them, exposing the organs. He was attracted by the inside and he loved to place his hands between the innards and feel them. Like in the adolescence years, he preserved and kept the bones of the victims.

A withdraw man

The eldest son of the Dahmer family has never expressed his feelings but kept all to himself. The difference between the two Dahmer brothers was big, while David Dahmer was an extrovert, charismatic and successful boy, Jeffrey was an introvert, quiet and locked up man. He didn’t talk with family, he’d rather preferred to express himself in other ways like his brother remembers “[Jeff] never learned to be open with his feelings of frustration . . . he went out to the forest by himself and cut down trees for firewood.” (The Shrine of Jeffrey Dahmer). Indeed he felt lot of anger but yet he kept all inside.

When his mother was taken to an hospital due to her mental health, Jeffrey blamed himself for his mother’s illness and wanted to keep the house calmer as possible. He didn’t want to be a trouble and so made himself isolated. His father instead, tried to make him exit from his isolation. He tried to made the son interested in sports or hobbies, but none of that resulted successful. But it was the father himself who apparently made the son so withdraw and private, teaching him how to control his emotions and be quiet. But both father and mother didn’t give him too much attention at the end, they decided to ignore the signals thinking it was just the way Jeff was and there wasn’t nothing wrong at all.

“A little private world”

As the puberty came Jeffrey Dahmer realized his thoughts and sexual desires weren’t sane and normal at all. He started fantasizing about lifeless bodies he could explore while they were still, he even targeted a jogger hoping he could hit him with a baseball bat to make him unconscious. Adding to that he knew of his sexual orientation, but knowing he wouldn’t have meet the favor of his family he kept this secret to himself.

When he started to accept the thoughts, he put everything together and called the place where he kept them “a little private world”. It was a metaphor he used to describe his welcomed lifestyle where he was free to live and act how he wanted. At job or with his family he hid the thoughts and acted normally while inside of him he had a whole horror world he exposed only in gay bars or indoors his home.

I extended my hand.

"My name is Pat, and I'm the detective that will be investigating your case.”

The suspect looked bewildered but meekly placed his limp hand in mine. I directed him to take a seat, and he obediently sat in the corner chair.

“You're not going to let them hit me anymore, are you?"

These were the first words out of his mouth, and they came almost pleadingly. I assured him by my manner, voice, tone, and general approach that I was not there to fight, argue, belittle, or harm him in any way. He seemed to think I was in charge and had authority over the uniforms, and I let him continue to think so. From now on, he would only be talking to me, and fighting was not part of the program. For the first time, I really took stock of the guy. A hint of barely controlled hysteria was evident in his voice. The smell of alcohol was more than noticeable. His eyes were glazed and his speech slightly slurred. He appeared to be desperately trying to contain himself and talk straight.

“What's your name?" I asked, opening the interrogation.

"Jeff. Jeffrey Dahmer" he replied.

-Grilling Dahmer, Chapter 2.

Drawing note: this is been my last work about Dahmer’s case, I made it some time ago. As always, I’m a bit sad we don’t have enough materials about Det. Patrick Kennedy and Jeffrey Dahmer, and so I decided to recreate a moment again. At first it was born like a painting test, with a specific light analysis, to then decide to recreate a elevator moment with the two. I thought about the scene as if it was almost a series shot, how you can see from the canvas format, light study and the text below. I can’t hide I still feel a bit reluctant on posting this because I don’t want this drawing to be read as a Dahmer glorification/fictionalization or whatsoever, I only wanted to document an happened scene. Again, like my previous Jeffrey and Patrick piece, I ask you to do not repost/save the picture anywhere, reblogs are only allowed here on tumblr since reblogging comes from my blog directly and with it my artist’s statement is present. Please be respectful or your post will be shut down immediately. Thank you!

Why Netflix’s Dahmer Sandwich Scene Unlikely Happened

Netflix’s “Dahmer -Monster: The True Story of Jeffrey Dahmer” is been a true success worldwide and it collected more than 1b hours views, becoming the #3 most popular TV (English) on Netflix (#4 considering the Non-English TV top). Besides the show portraits the events in a pretty faithful way, there are some differences and inaccuracies, and one of the most famous (and one of the creepiest) scenes is one of them.

During the episode 7 “Cassandra”, Dahmer (portrayed by Evan Peters) goes visit the neighbour to excuse his behaviour which caused some complaints from the tenants, offering the woman an handmade sandwich. The tension of the scene comes from the doubtful content of the ingredients, making the spectator think that it isn’t animal’s meat but human’s. But did this really happen? (Un)fortunately, as much this scene blows people’s mind and it’s so much discussed, it’s most probably a fake.

What are the reasons why it’s considered a fake?

At first it goes in contrasts with Dahmer’s modus operandi. He would have never risked to get caught offering other people a sandwich. He mostly kept everything to himself, not showing a hint of his macabre actions to other people. He installed cameras and alarms into his apartment and he barely had contacts with the neighbours. He met and spoke with Bass spouses sometimes, where they visited each other’s apartments at times, but they never had a close friendship nor they knew each other very well. He wouldn’t have risked it all doing this gruesome “joke”.

At second the cannibalism act, as grisly it is, it was a very deep deed for Dahmer himself. It was a projection of his needs, the next step of feeling someone near to him. It was a process who brought him to consume the meat based on an extreme personal feeling, which he couldn’t share to anyone. It wasn’t an action of a psychopath or a sadistic act to feel more evil and twisted, but an intense desire to keep someone with him as much as possible, having their meat connected to Jeffrey Dahmer himself, to become “one” (source - Jeffrey Dahmer confession). He didn’t kill for fun, but for his own (sick) necessities, and so the sandwich action couldn’t belong to his persona, but he simply couldn’t share it.

At last but not least, the source is not been confirmed, nor it’s been denied officially. Pamela Bass, Jeffrey’s neighbour, claimed she ate one of those sandwiches and that Jeffrey was used to cook for people at Oxford apartments. Her ex husband, Vernell Bass, denied everything saying the ex wife made this story up as the case blown up, explaining Jeffrey didn’t even cook for himself, and if everything was real, he would have never accepted a meal from a neighbour whose house stank terribly at first place. But until today it’s only Vernell’s word against Pamela’s, and no one really intervened clearing everything up, not even the same Jeffrey did.

Tribute to P. Kennedy, G. Palermo, P. Dietz and M. McCann for their job

Detective Patrick Francis Kennedy

Detective Kennedy is the one who led the Dahmer’s interrogation with detective D. Murphy and the attorney W. Patrickus. Better known as “Pat”, he decided to follow his father’s and great-grandfather’s steps becoming a policeman, turning himself a detective in the crime division later after moving to Milwaukee.

He received the order to go to the Oxford Apartments, and proceeded with the arrest of the suspect Jeffrey Dahmer. Subsequently he led the interrogation and, thanks to his endearing personality, he succeeded on creating a bond with the serial killer himself. With a mutual trust, he spent lot of time with Dahmer for several weeks getting a full confession, for then attending and testify the man’s trial.

After years, Pat went back to the academy and later began teaching criminal justice at two Wisconsin institutions. He also joined various documentaries about the Dahmer’s case, as the most notorious one “The Jeffrey Dahmer Files” - came out in 2012. He even wrote a book telling his experience (it was called “Dahmer Detective” at first but then it changed to “Grilling Dahmer”).

Pat died in 2013 because of an heart attack at 59.

“I can’t say that I really did, because when I looked at Jeffrey Dahmer, what surprised me the most during the six weeks I talked to him was how very much like you and me he really was. I had breakfast with him, I had lunch with him, I would bring the paper in, showing what the people were saying about him. And it sounds weird that we became friends but we were kind of friendly. We were friends.” - P. Kennedy, 2012.

Doctor George B. Palermo

The psychiatrist George Palermo (whose real name is Giorgio Benito Palermo) was born in Tarquinia, an old city in Italy, and he graduated in Medicine and Surgery from the University of Bologna in 1951. After moving back and forth from Rome to Wisconsin, he came back as a Professor of Criminology at Marquette University.

During Jeffrey Dahmer’s trial psychiatrist G. Palermo was called to offer an objective assessment of the defendant’s mental state. He took stand on 6th February 1992, where Dahmer pleaded guilty to the murders but claimed he was insane, a claim that was shot down by Palermo at trial. Palermo is been one of the few people who irritated and made Dahmer laugh, shaking him out of his stone-like stand.

Palermo served on the faculties of schools around the world and wrote books and scholarly articles, and lectured in places like Russia, China and Japan on a subject many might find revolting. He also liked visiting galleries in Rome because he was an art lover. On October 22, 2005, the Mayor of that time Alessandro Giulivi conferred on him the honorary citizenship of Tarquinia.

George died in 2016 at age 91.

“He looked as if he was used to it, that the courtroom was no hostile environment as far as he was concerned, and that he would get this over with nice and quickly. He was relaxed, urbane, smiling, often joking, slightly superior in manner, friendly and patient. He was patently a nice man and an amusing companion who would make a splendid dinner-guest.” - The Shrine of Jeffrey Dahmer.

Doctor Park Elliot Dietz

Differently to his physician father and grandfather, Dietz is a forensic psychiatrist, criminologist and he also has consulted for television shows as Law & Order, Law & Order: Los Angeles and Kiss The Girls. He even published books called “Autoerotic Fatalities” and “Psychotherapy and the human predicament: A psychosocial approach”. He’s known for forensic psychiatry and for his expert testimony in high profile criminal cases.

Dietz was hired by the prosecution to evaluate Dahmer's claim that he was "guilty but insane", and so he spent 18 hours with him. He spoke with Dahmer, they watched Dahmer’s favorite movies and porns together, and Dahmer talked with him about the shrine. During his two days of testimony, Dietz held the trial professionally going through every one of the fifteen counts of homicide with a view to deciding in each case whether Dahmer knew right from wrong at the time of the offence and whether his actions betrayed a capacity to conform to the law if he had wanted to.

Park Dietz is also president and founder of Park Dietz & Associates, Inc. and TAG - Threat Assessment Group, Inc. The first is an association of professionals in the psychiatric and forensic field. The second is about educating institutions and individuals about the prevention of violence.

Today the psychiatrist P. Dietz is still alive at age 74, still working.

“Dr Park Dietz made his appearance in the witness-box on Wednesday, 12 February. It was immediately apparent why he was saved until the last, for there was about him an aura of unassailable proficiency. He was alert, meticulous, fastidious, precise, patiently prepared to suffer the task of explaining difficult concepts to the untutored. Like a reluctantly cynical professor, he had learnt that you have to speak slowly if people are to grasp your meaning, and you have to use simple words.” - The Shrine of Jeffrey Dahmer.

Attorney Edward Michael McCann

E. Michael McCan was both attorney and politician, an he prosecuted numerous high-profile cases during his tenure as district attorney. He went to Milwaukee after he studied and graduated in Detroit and Cambridge, and he served as a prosecutor working under district attorneys, handling criminal appeals heard by the Wisconsin Supreme Court.

McCann is a catholic moral man who was asked to obtain the conviction of Jeffrey Dahmer in 1991. After two weeks of the trial, McCann delivered his closing argument for the prosecution, describing Dahmer as a sane man, in full control of his actions, who simply strove to avoid detection. He argued that by pleading guilty but insane to the charges, Dahmer was seeking to escape responsibility for his crimes. Once again, McCann defeated Boyle’s defence, and Dahmer was ruled to be sane and got his sentence to life imprisonment.

Unfortunately in the last years McCann was in the middle of critics of political, social and economic nature, and so he abandoned the scene in 2007. Following his departure from office in January of that year, McCann joined Marquette University Law School, where he became a Boden Teaching Fellow and adjunct professor of law. Today he’s retired and he’s living quietly at age 87.

“Opposing him would be the District Attorney, Michael McCann, a kindly, compassionate man who felt the burden of his duty to represent the community and give expression to their outrage. He was thorough in preparation, remorseless in presentation, and only appeared unforgiving. He was a deeply moral man whose passionate advocacy reflected his outrage and did not have to be contrived.” - The Shrine of Jeffrey Dahmer.

Drawing note: I started sketching this art with Pat, as I saw his unique, even goofy, appearance. He looked like a Pixar character, so I decided to draw him in my style to have some fun. I didn’t plan to make a whole drawing with multiple characters at first, but then I sketched Palermo as well since his appearance was so cartoonish too. At the end I decided to amplify the canvas so I could add two additional characters and I decided to include Dietz and McCann. These four are the involved people of Dahmer’s case who hit me the most, and I decided to dedicate them a drawing. I don’t mean to minimize the gravity of the case with this drawing, I don’t want to treat it like a tv series making fanarts out of it, but instead it wants to be a tribute for their amazing job during the case, in my personal own artist way. I don’t mean to offend/disrespect anybody with it. If this causes troubles or unease to somebody, I won’t think twice and I’ll delete it right away. Thank you for reading!

Jeffrey Dahmer and the relationship with animals

Unlike other serial killers, Jeffrey Dahmer never found interest on harming or torturing animals. In fact, abusing animals since childhood it’s an important factor which may link to future violence towards humans. However, hurting animals wasn’t under Jeffrey Dahmer’s radar.

“We’d go out and play in the fields, run around, she was a good dog to have.” -Jeffrey Dahmer

Childhood:

Since he was a kid he showed interest in animals, having a goldfish and a turtle as pets at only 18-months-old. The mother, Joyce, remembered those moments with affection, affirming the kind relationship his boy had with the animals: “Jeff was so very gentle with the turtle”.

He also had a cat, Buffy, during the time the family was living at Pammel Court. Unfortunately, due to the father’s job, The Dahmers had to move in Bath, Ohio, and they had to be sell Buffy. It was at that time, at age 7, that Dahmer was given a puppy to help distract him from the recent move. He named the puppy Frisky, she was a lovely black and white dog, and Jeffrey was very close to her.

Also around that time Jeffrey’s brother, David , was born. He loved his brother, yet he loved his dog more, as Joyce recalled: “…More adjusting for Jeff, but he loves Davy and is good to him. Frisky comes first in his heart, though. They really romp and play”. Jeffrey spent time playing and running out the camps with the dog.

Jeffrey Dahmer and a cat, possibly Buffy

Around age two or three, a curious fact had happened. His father was riding his bicycle with Jeffrey seated on the handlebars, when Jeffrey spotted what looked like a ball of dust (in the eyes of Lionel). Curious and pointing at it, Jeffrey encouraged the father to come closer, when Lionel noticed it was a baby nighthawk which had fallen from the nest. With Jeffrey’s urging, Lionel took the little bird at home and raised it with Jeffrey on his side. At the beginning they nursed it feeding it a mixture of milk and corn syrup, to switch with solid food later once the bird became strong enough. It almost became a pet, and a name was given: “Dusty”. “It was almost like a pet. It would come back when you called it, eat out of your hand and stuff like that.” Joyce said. When the bird grew and became stronger, it was ready to be released. It was Lionel who cradled it and took it outside, and when he opened the hand the bird flew away. It was a delightful moment, and all the three members of the family were happy.

Around age seven or eight instead, the first violent act of the child showed up. Jeffrey developed a certain fondness for the assistant teacher at school, and so he decided to give her a present. It was an innocent child gesture, a naive gift, but significant for little Jeffrey. He caught a bowl of tadpoles in a stream nearby a school where the family was used to go, to give them to the teacher as a sign of affection. Unfortunately after some time he would’ve found out the bowl was given to his friend Lee. He felt betrayed and as a sign of revenge he sneaked into Lee’s house garage (where the tadpoles were kept) and killed the animals pouring motor oil into their water.

“It stood about as tall as this table, short fur, looked like a Doberman, real friendly dog. My dog was chasing it into the street and this car came by and both dogs were together, right next to each other, and that car slammed into the big dog and just missed mine by that much. Boy, did I feel lucky.”

Dahmer remembering an episode with Frisky and the dog of his neighbours

Adolescence:

During adolescence he focused on his single hobby, started years before. At first he began watching and starring animals, such as snakes, toads, crabs, turtles, fish and wild rabbits. When living in Bath, Ohio, Jeffrey spent a great amount of time in a hut next to the house, collecting rests of animals. There was a skeletons collection, with the rests of squirrels, birds and chipmunks, and there was a jars collection with insects inside in formaldehyde. He even had a graveyard outside where he buried the dead animals.

However, his interest grew more and more, and it evolved in road-kills interest: he picked up dead animals in the streets, which were invested by cars, bringing them home. He was interested on the “mechanics” of the inside, and he wanted to know how it “worked”. He cut them open down the front, exposing the innards. Still, none of the animals were alive during the process, as he picked up dead creatures specifically. He usually found foxes, opossums, cats, raccoons and dogs. One of the dogs he found was very large, and after he brought it home as his usual, he waited for the skin to rot off to collect the bones later then. Another one was a Beagle, and after examining the insides, he grabbed the skull of the creature, putting it on a pole. Curiously, another time again, a chilling fact occurred, when he kidnapped a dog of a neighbour with the intent of killing it. He didn’t find the courage to do so after watching at the dog, and so he freed it. There’s also been one time in school where he stole the feral pig from the biology laboratory, taking it home and once in the garage, he removed the skin and flesh and kept the skull of the pig.

When in highschool, Jeffrey Dahmer shared a friendship with a certain Jeff Six, another student of the Revere High School. The friendship wasn’t deep at all, and it required no specific commitment. It was with him that Jeffrey spent some time in his car. Unfortunately, Six had a weird sadistic habit which Jeffrey didn’t like at all. While on the road, if a dog was spotted, Six would speed up to hit the animal. “His big thrill was to find a dog that was walking in the road and speed up real fast and hit it. It just amazed me. In one day he went through four dogs. How many dogs just walked into the road in front of him . . . He’d speed up real fast and just tick them off.” Dahmer said subsequently. One time in particular marked Dahmer quite a lot, when Six hit a little puppy, and when the latter looked back and Dahmer noticed his terrified eyes, he insisted to stop the car so he could go away, sickened by these acts.

The dog’s skull on a pole

Jeffrey Dahmer never killed an animal himself. It is frequently the case that people who grow into multiple murderers have evolved from sadistic children, and cruelty to animals in childhood is a common characteristic shared among them. Dahmer’s case is different in this regard as in most others. He displayed no cruelty, and was not interested in watching an animal suffer or react to pain.

- The Shrine of Jeffrey Dahmer

Adult life:

When living with his grandmother in West Allis, Wisconsin, he took care of the grandma’s cat, Jody, who liked. Jeffrey expressed his love for cats even with his neighbours, Vernell and Pamela Bass, when he saw their cat on their apartment. “He was very impressed when he saw our cat walk out of the bedroom picking her up and saying he liked cats a lot.” Vernell explained. Douglas Jackson, downstairs neighbor, also stated he was used to see Dahmer in the backyard smoking cigarettes or drinking beers surrounded by cats, which followed him wherever he went.

As he moved in his own apartment in Milwaukee, Apt 213 at 924 North 25th Street, he allowed himself to get a fish tank. It was a 30-gallon aquarium bought from The Fish Factory, a fish shop where he would usually wander around admiring the variety of fishes there, from their colours to their shapes. He was so fascinated indeed, so much that when he got caught they found books about fish care in his apartment. “It was nice, with African cichlids and tiger barbs in it and live plants, it was a beautifully kept fish tank, very clean . . . I used to like to just sit there and watch them swim around, basically. I used to enjoy the planning of the set-up, the filtration, read about how to keep the nitrate and ammonia down to safe levels and just the whole spectrum of fish-keeping interested me.” Dahmer said. He was so enthusiastic about trigger fish and puffer fish as well. He reminded the time when he saw the puffer fish in the store with enthusiasm: “I once saw some puffer fish in the store. It’s a round fish, and the only ones I ever saw with both eyes in front, like a person’s eyes, and they would come right up to the front of the glass and their eyes would be crystal blue, like a person’s, real cute.”. This was a very precious hobby for Dahmer, and after his arrest he would recall his aquarium moments with nostalgia, missing them.

Jeffrey and Jody at grandmother’s house in 1990.

“The cat's doing fine. She always wants to be brushed."

Jeff nodded.

"You know how she likes that."

"Yeah."

"She's always trying to be brushed," I said. "Remember how you used to do it?"

He stared at me silently.

- Excerpt From A Father's Story

Sources: The Shrine of Jeffrey Dahmer - Brian Masters; A Father’s Story - Lionel Dahmer; Across The Hall - Vernell Bass; Step into My Parlor - Edward Baumann; My Friend Dahmer - Derf Backderf

Grilling Dahmer - Chapter 18:

“I concentrated on the man himself. The most surprising thing was how very much like me and other regular people he was. In between sessions or during lunch, I pulled out the daily Milwaukee newspaper and read aloud what was being reported. Dahmer perused the latest info on the case, and we discussed other current world events. He was intelligent and articulate, pleasant and polite at all times. The give and take between us went so smoothly that anyone observing would conclude that we were friends. He displayed all the normal human emotions of love, fear, anger, and loneliness during these conversations, and it was only when we returned to his deeds that a distinct "other" personality emerged. Sitting erect and emotionless, he slipped into a trance-like monotonous state as he described the horror of his actions, his blue eyes glazed over and lifeless. Only then did I feel the chill of evil. It was extraordinary.”

Extract from “Grilling Dahmer” book. Fanart by me.

If you’re interested to know more support the author and get the book!

! On a personal note, I always found the relationship between the two men fascinating, and I’m a bit sad we got nothing of Dahmer and Kennedy together, so I decided to draw a moment of the two together. “If we don’t have any photos of the duo, then I’ll create one by myself”, that’s what I told myself. However, I ask to be respectful with this drawing of mine, since I’m still reluctant about posting it. I feel like drawing something about this case can be very delicate, I don’t want to be disrespectful in any way and mostly I don’t want to glorify Jeffrey Dahmer. If you don’t mind, I ask to do not save/post this somewhere else in other socials without my consent. Let’s keep it here and let’s consider it as a “journalistic” piece, since my intent was to document a specific scene which happened. Hope you can understand, thank you!

Jeffrey Dahmer’s murder crime scene:

The twenty-inch bar that Christopher Scarver used to beat Jeffrey Dahmer to death.

The crime scene photograph of the bathroom of Columbia Correctional Institution where Jeffrey Dahmer was killed.

On the morning of November 28, 1994, Dahmer left his cell with other two inmates to conduct his assigned work detail. At approximately 8:10 a.m. Dahmer was discovered on the floor of the bathrooms of the gym suffering from extreme head wounds: The inmate Christopher Scarver beat him to death hitting him with a bar. His head had also been repeatedly struck against the wall in the assault. Although Dahmer was still alive and was rushed to a nearby hospital, he was pronounced dead one hour later. Dahmer’s official decease was set shortly after 9 A.M.

Source: Monster: The True Story of the Jeffrey Dahmer Murders, book by Anne E. Schwartz

𝐃𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂 𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄

↳ 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘁/𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽

↳ 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗱𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲?

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗺 ‘𝗱𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲’ 𝗶𝘀 𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗮 𝗰𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘃𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗺. 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝘂𝘀𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗮 𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗴𝗮𝗽 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝘃𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗺 𝗶𝘀 𝗱𝗲𝗽𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿. 𝗗𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺 𝗼𝗳 𝗽𝗵𝘆𝘀𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹, 𝘀𝗲𝘅𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝗼𝗿 𝗽𝘀𝘆𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗮𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗲.

𝗙𝗼𝗿𝗺𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗱𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲?

𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝗮𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗲

𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗶𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗲

𝗵𝗼𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗿-𝗯𝗮𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝘀𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝗮𝘀 𝗵𝗼𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗸𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀, 𝗳𝗲𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗲 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗮𝗹 𝗺𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 (‘𝗳𝗲𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗲 𝗰𝗶𝗿𝗰𝘂𝗺𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻’) 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗰𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗮𝗴𝗲.

𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗮𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗯𝘆 𝗮𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗿 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿, 𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗹𝘂𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝘀𝘆𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗮𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴.

𝘃𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗺𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗱𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲

𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗮𝗿𝗴𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗽 𝗼𝗳 𝘃𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗺𝘀. 𝗛𝗼𝘄𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿, 𝗺𝗲𝗻, 𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗿𝗲𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗲𝗹𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗹𝘆 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝗹𝘀𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝘃𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗺𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗱𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲. 𝗗𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗼𝗰𝗰𝘂𝗿𝘀 𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗹𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝘀𝗼𝗰𝗶𝗲𝘁𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗽𝗼𝗽𝘂𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗽𝘀. 𝘃𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗺𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗱𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲

𝗔𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝘂𝘀𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗱𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗯𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀. 𝗙𝗼𝗿 𝗲𝘅𝗮𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲, 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗻𝗼 𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗽𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘀. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗶𝘁𝘂𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗲𝘀𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘂𝗹𝘁 𝗶𝗻 𝗮𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗲.

↳ 𝗮𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗰𝘀

𝗢𝗻 𝗮𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗲, 𝗻𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗹𝘆 𝟮𝟬 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗿 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝘂𝘁𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗽𝗵𝘆𝘀𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗮𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆 𝗮𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗨𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗲𝘀. 𝗗𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿, 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗮𝘁𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝟭𝟬 𝗺𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘄𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗲𝗻.

𝟭 𝗶𝗻 𝟰 𝘄𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝟭 𝗶𝗻 𝟵 𝗺𝗲𝗻 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗽𝗵𝘆𝘀𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲, 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗰𝘁 𝘀𝗲𝘅𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲, 𝗮𝗻𝗱/𝗼𝗿 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘀 𝘀𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝗮𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝗷𝘂𝗿𝘆, 𝗳𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀, 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘁-𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘂𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗿𝗱𝗲𝗿, 𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘃𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗺 𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗶𝗰𝗲𝘀, 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝘀𝗲𝘅𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘀𝗺𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲𝘀, 𝗲𝘁𝗰.

𝟭 𝗶𝗻 𝟯 𝘄𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝟭 𝗶𝗻 𝟰 𝗺𝗲𝗻 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲𝗱 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺 𝗼𝗳 𝗽𝗵𝘆𝘀𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗯𝘆 𝗮𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿. 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗹𝘂𝗱𝗲𝘀 𝗮 𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗿𝘀 (𝗲.𝗴. 𝘀𝗹𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗽𝘂𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴) 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝘀𝗲𝘀 𝗺𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗯𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗱 "𝗱𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲."

𝟭 𝗶𝗻 𝟳 𝘄𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝟭 𝗶𝗻 𝟮𝟱 𝗺𝗲𝗻 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝗷𝘂𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆 𝗮𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿.

𝟭 𝗶𝗻 𝟭𝟬 𝘄𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗿𝗮𝗽𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆 𝗮𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿. 𝗗𝗮𝘁𝗮 𝗶𝘀 𝘂𝗻𝗮𝘃𝗮𝗶𝗹𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗼𝗻 𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗲 𝘃𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗺𝘀.

𝟭 𝗶𝗻 𝟰 𝘄𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝟭 𝗶𝗻 𝟳 𝗺𝗲𝗻 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝘃𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗺𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝘀𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗽𝗵𝘆𝘀𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 (𝗲.𝗴. 𝗯𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗯𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴) 𝗯𝘆 𝗮𝗻 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲.

↳ 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝗮 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱/𝗳𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗺𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝗻 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽?

𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗲𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵𝘆: listen to the persons story without jumping to, problem-solving or offering them “silver linings.”instead of offering your advice, acknowledge their pain and how difficult their situation must be to go through.

𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗯𝗲 𝗷𝘂𝗱𝗴𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗹: someone in an abusive relationship, may already be dealing with feelings of inadequacy, as well as shame. Asking questions like “why don’t you just leave?” Can push your friend/family member away, in a time when they need you the most.

𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗮𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝘀: if you find it hard to not be judgmental, don’t worry you are not alone but, no one ever intends to get into an abusive relationship and, you can’t always spot an abuser right off the bat. It can be very helpful to learn the dynamics of domestic violence, the power and control the abusers have over their victims, which can make it difficult and dangerous for the victims to leave.

𝗮𝘀𝗸 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻: asking them how you can support them, is a great way to show the victim you are there for them. Abuse can make a person feel powerless, so letting them know you trust them to do what’s right for them, a loved one saying that can help them gain some power back.

𝗯𝗲 𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴: a victim of abuse is most likely already overwhelmed, the idea of leaving can be even more overwhelming. Having knowledge about resources for them to get additional help, when they are ready for it, your best bet is to slowly and step by step encourage them into leaving.

𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳: as selfish as it sounds, you need to make sure your okay during this type of situation. A lot of people don’t understand that, watching someone you love and care about being abused, can take its own emotional toll on you. Make sure you know your limits, it is okay to set boundaries and look for support of your own.

↳ 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗮𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀

𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗱𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲?

𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗰𝘀 𝘄𝗲𝗯𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗲

𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗱𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲? ( different website than the first)

𝘀𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘁 + 𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗺 𝗲𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗮𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝘄𝗲𝗯𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗲

𝘀𝗲𝘅𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝗮𝗽𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺 (𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗽𝗽) (𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗮𝗯𝘂𝘀𝗲)

Things that will make your computer meaningfully faster:

Replacing a HDD with an SSD

Adding RAM

Graphics cards if you're nasty

Uninstalling resource hogs like Norton or McAfee (if you're using Windows then the built-in Windows Security is perfectly fine; if you're using a mac consider bitdefender as a free antivirus or eset as a less resource intensive paid option)

Customizing what runs on startup for your computer

Things that are likely to make internet browsing specifically meaningfully faster:

Installing firefox and setting it up with ublock origin

adding the Auto Tab Discard extension to firefox to sleep unused tabs so that they aren't constantly reloading

Closing some fucking tabs bud I'm sorry I know it hurts I'm guilty of this too

Things that will make your computer faster if you are actually having a problem:

Running malwarebytes and shutting down any malicious programs it finds.

Correcting disk utilization errors

Things that will make your computer superficially faster and may slightly improve your user experience temporarily:

Clearing cache and cookies on your browser

Restarting the computer

Changing your screen resolution

Uninstalling unused browser extensions

Things that do not actually make your computer faster:

Deleting files

Registry cleaners

Defragging your drive

Passively wishing that your computer was faster instead of actually just adding more fucking RAM.

This post is brought to you by the lady with the 7-year-old laptop that she refuses to leave overnight for us to run scans on or take apart so that we can put RAM in it and who insists on coming by for 30-minute visits hoping we can make her computer faster.

no piece of teen media has ever accurately depicted the quiet psychological warfare of bullying. bullies on TV are always dumb brutes and not the evil geniuses of emotional manipulation that they are in real life. being given a wedgie and having your lunch money stolen is nothing in comparison to a classmate quietly creating a taboo against speaking to you that they intend to enforce against all the other kids. it’s nothing like continuous cutting comments from people you thought were being nice to you. that way that the work of one kid can make you feel like every person on earth silently hates you and that you are dirty, disgusting, worthless, creepy and useless. that you can have friends but many of them will not speak to you at school for fear of the social consequences on their end. how that damage lasts in any social setting for the rest of your life

i keep trying to phrase a post as like a helpful tip for people who like worldbuilding but. i have to be honest with myself. it is not a helpful tip because no one asked for it. i just want to rant about kinship terminologies.

.

I’ve never seen this before. This is legit interesting to watch

TW Spider

💥 Fridge Magic: Vinegar 💥

Magical Properties of Vinegar:

Planet: Saturn 🪐

Element: Fire 🔥

Energies: Purification 🌸 Protection 🛡

This is a summary from Scott Cunningham’s Wicca in the Kitchen (read my review here✨). I’m gonna be making summaries form his book for easy access for myself and maybe you’ll like them too!