I Don't Know About You, But Why Does No One Think About This? Rampart Spent Months In An Imperial Labor

“They glossed over ezra finding out how the war ended” I wanna know who had to tell Thrawn that not only did the Death Star get destroyed exactly how he said it would, but the empire turned around and built another one that got blown up again

This is the Best Shit I've seen today 🤣

Post-SI Class Story

Kallig: did you kill Thanaton?

Amala: yes

Kallig: did you become a Darth?

Amala: you know what, I did

Kallig: get a seat on the Dark Council?

Amala: that too

Kallig: given me grandchildren?

Amala: …no.

Kallig, banging pots and pans together: THEN GET TO IT, GO GO GO

“Portraits, Commander & General of the Republic army.”

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So a quick Jean singer seargent study quickly snowballed into me wanting to do a bunch of these so I’m starting off with the favorite boys.

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I needed this

𝕕𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕒 𝕤𝕙𝕠𝕣𝕥 𝕠𝕣 𝕤𝕞𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕤/𝕠 ⋆*･ﾟ𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕓𝕒𝕕 𝕓𝕒𝕥𝕔𝕙 + 𝕔𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕒𝕚𝕟 𝕣𝕖𝕩

➼ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ☆ ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ꜱʟɪɢʜᴛ ɴꜰꜱᴡ, ɪᴛ'ꜱ ᴀ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ꜱᴘɪᴄʏ ɪꜱ ᴀʟʟ ɪᴍ ꜱᴀʏɪɴɢ.

⋆ ★ ɪ ꜰᴇᴇʟ Qᴜɪᴛᴇ ᴏʙʟɪɢᴀᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴀꜱ ɪ ᴀᴍ 4’11 ᴀɴᴅ ᴄᴀɴɴᴏᴛ ɪᴍᴀɢɪɴᴇ ʜᴏᴡ ꜰᴜɴɴʏ ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ɴᴇxᴛ ᴛᴏ ʟɪᴛᴇʀᴀʟʟʏ ᴀɴʏᴏɴᴇ ɪɴ ꜱᴡ, ᴀɴᴅ ꜱɪɴᴄᴇ ᴍʏ ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ʙᴏʏꜱ ᴀᴛᴍ ᴀʀᴇ ꜰᴜᴄᴋɪɴɢ ɢɪᴀɴᴛꜱ ᴄᴏᴍᴘᴀʀᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ ɪ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴀᴅ ʙᴀᴛᴄʜ+ʀᴇx ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀ ꜱʜᴏʀᴛ/ꜱᴍᴀʟʟ ꜱ/ᴏ! ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ʟᴏᴠᴇʟʏ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ

➼ ᴛʜɪꜱ ꜰɪᴄ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀɪɴꜱ ɴꜱꜰᴡ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ. ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ 18+ ᴅɴɪ

⋆ ★ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴏɴ ᴀᴏ3 ⋆*･ﾟ ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ ꜰᴏʀᴍ

Hunter

Despite being the only one out of clone force 99 who’s the average clone trooper height, he still is immensely taller (and broader, to be frank, excluding that little slutty waist) compared to you.

It strokes his ego quite a bit

Maybe a bit more if you like to point it out.

It ties into any sort of praise you shower onto him, really. If you tell him all about how tall and big and strong he is, you’re practically begging for him to pounce on you.

Hunter’s just whipped for you like that.

Despite that, he finds your height to be really cute.

It’s not everything he likes about you, of course, but it just ties it all in; it's just an aspect he adores sometimes.

He tries not to do it anymore because he wants to be helpful, but occasionally he’ll sit back and watch you struggle to reach something high up. The grin that spreads across his face could lift the entire galaxy’s spirits.

If you realize, you put a hand on your hip and pout.

“Really?”

He hides his red face and shakes his head.

“I’m sorry, mesh’la. You just looked so cute.”

When you huff again he reaches for the object you were trying to reach and hands it to you like it was a delicacy on a silver platter.

Whenever you're in a position like that, where your chests almost touched and he looked down at you, you enjoyed going on your tip toes and pecking his chin affectionately.

“I’m adorable, aren’t I?”

Tech

At first, even as you start a relationship with him, it is simply an objective fact about you.

He’ll make slightly offhanded comments about it, but you know he doesn't mean any harm when he says them.

“I should probably handle this instead since it would be easier for me to complete. Considering our heights.”

“Please don’t climb over the shelves, dear. You might hurt yourself.”

Eventually, the comments stop, you don’t really know why.

You do realize though he will always offer help in a situation where you are vertically challenged and his comments aren’t meant to be demeaning.

The height difference between you two, however, shifts from a focus on your height to his.

Tech knew that you gained a sense of enjoyment from the contrast in appearance, but didn’t realize how much you liked it.

And you liked it a lot.

Something about Tech completely towering over you while ever so slightly asserting his intellectual superiority rubs you in all the right places.

You tell him about it, and he tries his best to nod it off. Emphasis on tries.

He subconsciously begins trying to catch you in positions where he’s physically overwhelming; dwarfing your body into his and enveloping you into him wholly.

He doesn't notice hes doing it, but you do; oh you do.

You won't point it out. Both of you get off on his little power trips.

Wrecker

Let’s be real, this man has a raging size kink.

Of course, even if you’re average height or above, you’re minuscule compared to Wrecker. But man, if you’re short, petite, etc.? Wrecker is GONE. Deceased. Done.

He simply will never be able to get over how cute you are.

And maybe you feed into it as well.

Call him ‘big guy’ or give him that doe-eyed look like you’re in awe of a giant overtop you and you won’t walk for the next week.

He gets just a tad bit feral.

Sometimes, he finds it more comedic.

Like when you topple over trying to reach something on a high-up shelf.

You’ve become quite embarrassed about always needing assistance from Wrecker, especially because of all the teasing you’ve gained from his brothers.

So despite him always being fully willing to help at any time, you get a little too flustered for your liking and try to do the tasks yourself.

And yet, this doesn’t solve your problem. You continue to fall straight on your ass every time.

His laughter fills the entire ship.

“I must’ve turned invisible” he toddles over and opens his arms out wide. “Your footstool is right here!”

You can’t help but facepalm.

Other times, he finds it arousing.

Like when you press up against his stomach and chest, your chin resting up so you stared at him with wide eyes.

His whole body could completely swallow you whole in those moments.

How could he not get a boner?

BONUS: You’re small enough to huddle up on his lap and fit your entire body onto him with your arms loosely wrapped around his neck. Yes, those are the best cuddles. Yes, you both fall asleep instantly.

Crosshair

I'm sorry, but if you didn't think Crosshair was gonna tease you, he’s not your man.

On a day he's being especially pesky, every other sentence that comes out of his mouth is commenting on your height.

Crosshair loves seeing you frustrated, he thinks you look cute like that. He's like a schoolboy in that way, but don't say that. He’ll get all pissy and refuse to talk to you for a few hours.

Yep. Definitely a whiny schoolboy.

Will use the top of your head as an armrest and won’t protest if one of his brothers captures a photo of you two in that position.

Even if you're sitting next to each other he’ll find an opportunity to prop an elbow on your shoulder or head. it never fails to make him chuckle darkly to himself.

But if you ask him to help you reach something high up, he’ll do it wordlessly. Save the teasing for after.

if you blush furiously and scold him, he’ll only smirk and if no one else is around, give you a peck on your forehead.

“Can’t stop myself, doll.”

Won't offer help with any vertical challenges despite him being much taller. He’d like to, but in his head, he still thinks that he’ll come out too soft.

He might do it wordlessly and swiftly, even if you don't ask. Perhaps that's his way of showing love.

Echo

He won’t comment on it. Not for a while at least.

This man has had his fair share of body insecurity, and he isn’t so sure if your height is one of yours. He won’t risk that, he cares far too much about you to hurt your feelings inadvertently, or accidentally trigger any association with bad thoughts about yourself with him.

You’re the one to first bring it up, in fact.

It came out when you had started to get a little tipsy at Cid’s, and were talking about the batch’s physiques.

“And Echo, I know there’s wrecker over there but…” you cradled his face and looked up at him with awe, more adoration than he’d ever felt in his life. “You’re just so big and tall… and strong” with your last word, a small, whimpered moan followed.

Oh, if you were only sober enough to notice how his codpiece rubbed against your stomach harder than usual.

Sure, you got some shit from the boys for it the day after when you sobered up, but you didn’t regret saying it.

Finally, you got out of your head and told Echo how much you loved your height difference.

He stumbles a bit at first with your confession, but once the two of you go to continue doing something else, you notice how his chest puffs out just a little bit more and his shoulders are more squared up.

He always used to help you when trying to reach something high up before, but after that day, every time he does it feels so… purposeful.

It kind of is (he’d never admit it though).

He just can’t get your comment out of his mind.

It’s almost feral how kindred his need gets when you look, feel so much smaller than him.

But he’d never say it.

Actions, however, always speak more than words when it comes to Echo.

Rex

Rex is such an act of service guy, c’mon

He’s the kind of guy to always clean up after himself always if he’s around at your place. Does all the gross, menial tasks in the kitchen. If you fall asleep watching something, he’ll turn it off and carry you to bed.

He’s just such a gentleman, you can’t convince me otherwise.

So of course, if you’re more, ahem, vertically challenged than most, he is there.

He’s not the type to hold off on helping you out, like Hunter or Crosshair, but he might make a couple quips after or just randomly through the day.

“You’re so cute like this.”

“Aw, cyare, ‘m sorry you need my help. Can’t imagine living like this every day.”

It's hard to get mad at his comments, though.

Not when he’s always there the second you need him.

Though, when the two of you are more… intimate, the size difference comes into play more.

He doesn’t really have a size kink like Wrecker does, but Rex would be lying if his dick hasn't throbbed seeing the way his hand completely covered yours while going to town.

But he’s just so sweet about it; you’ve seen the way he looks at you in moments like those, with pure awe and revel, it makes you feel so loved and protected.

He could never make you feel otherwise.wise.

CLONES STOMPING ON CRUNCHY LEAVES FOR THE FIRST TIME

on his first r&r to coruscant, cody abducts fox and takes him to the botanical gardens because he knows that his vod’ika won’t have stomped on a leaf and that simply cannot be borne for a second longer

(fox schedules patrols to cycle all of the guard through the gardens. big security risk, those leaves. gotta stomp ‘em.)

I know its been said before but like Sith Obi-Wan trained by Dooku? More powerful than Vader just not in the same ways, regardless of if he was raised from childhood as an apprentice or picked up a while into having Qui-Gon as a master

Yeah he'd be traumatised but he is anyway so why not make him a Sith apprentice as a treat

He'd be civilised, he'd be intelligent and dear christ he'd be fucking lethal [also he'd be a massive fucking whore I mean that man could get anyone]

Also Dooku being exasperated and resigned to Obi-Wan's slut behaviour "Grandpadawan, do they teach such behaviours in the temple or did your friendship with Vos lead you to be like this?"

Obi-Wan wearing the most revealing outfit possible, Dooku just fucking sighing in the background and trying to cover him with a spare robe

Retouched an older sketch and played with every single layer mode available

There isn't any context really

Are you kidding me? This is the cutest shit I've ever seen 😭

Do you think papa mando would let baby yoda chill in his helmet when no one's around

Now this is The Negotiatior

Soresu Negotiations

“Get help,” Palpatine said. “You’re no match for him. He’s a Sith Lord.”

Obi-Wan turned to look at the Chancellor. “...yes?” he said. “But he’s also something else – something I’m surprised you’ve forgotten.”

“What?” Palpatine asked.

“A politician,” Obi-Wan replied, turning back to Dooku.

Anakin groaned, then sat down.

“Here we go,” he said.

Palpatine blinked, looking from Anakin to Obi-Wan.

“...what do you mean, Anakin?” he asked.

“This happens sometimes,” Anakin replied. “How do you think he got his nickname?”

“Count,” Obi-Wan said, at about the same time. “It’s occurred to me that I never actually found out what the Confederacy wants.”

“Isn’t it a little late for this?” Dooku asked. “We have been at war for several years.”

“True,” Obi-Wan conceded, readily. “The war having started on Geonosis, because of tracing back your clone army which we… appear to have appropriated, mostly because you did it in our name. But that’s how the war started – not your objectives.”

Dooku was silent for a moment.

“I assume some semblance of a point will be emerging,” he said, eventually. “If you could be so kind as to provide it?”

“Wars begin for all sorts of reasons,” Obi-Wan replied. “But how they end… they end because a mutual settlement has been reached. And it’s occurred to me that I don’t know what you’d want out of a victory.”

He spread his hand, the one not holding the – unlit – saber. “It’s not the conquest of the Republic, I can tell that much. If the CIS annexed the Republic, what you’d have would still be the Republic, just under a different name… it’s not the Republic without the corruption that’s been causing it problems, because most of the corruption in the Republic was – was – the big industrial concerns like the Techno Union, Commerce Guild, Trade Federation. But you seem to have taken all of those off our hands, and they provide essentially your entire military so I don’t think anyone else could honestly believe that either.”

“I wouldn’t expect a Jedi to understand,” Dooku replied. “The Confederacy’s member systems have concerns relating to over-centralization.”

Obi-Wan stared at him for a long moment.

“...no they don’t,” he said.

“I hardly think you can have earned your reputation as a negotiator, Kenobi, if you are so willing to be insulting,” Dooku said, archly.

“That’s not what I mean,” Obi-Wan replied. “I mean… yes, now the Republic has an army, though really it’s actually the Jedi’s army and we’re simply letting them borrow it, but four years ago the Galactic Republic was proverbially incapable of doing anything. It took emergency powers for the Chancellor to get the Republic to authorize having any kind of military whatsoever – and the only one available was the one you ordered. That’s not over-centralization.”

He drummed his fingers on his ‘saber. “And I note that I overheard Nute Gunray insisting on the head of Senator Amidala – literally, in those words – as his price for signing a treaty. But I still haven’t heard an actual answer. What does the Galaxy look like if the Confederacy wins?”

Dooku frowned, and after about three seconds Obi-Wan glanced at the Chancellor.

“Didn’t you discuss this at any point, your excellency?” he asked. “Count Dooku doesn’t seem to have thought about this.”

Palpatine blinked.

“...he’s a Sith Lord,” he repeated. “Shouldn’t you be fighting him?”

“It’s called diplomacy, Chancellor,” Obi-Wan replied, before returning his attention to Dooku. “Grandmaster, are you seriously telling me that you never thought about what you would do if you won?”

Anakin checked his comlink, for the time, then the ship trembled slightly.

“Artoo?” he asked. “Can you tell those ships outside to stop shooting at us and give us a wide berth? This could take hours and I don’t want to find out if my name’s literal.”

“Hours?” Palpatine repeated.

“He’s rolling,” Anakin replied, rolling his eyes. “Like I say, I’m used to this.”

He rummaged in a pocket of his robes, taking out a miniature toolkit, and began disassembling his lightsaber. “I’m pretty sure I can retune these crystals to give two stable configurations which it’ll snap between, that should give me a length toggle instead of a single adjustable length…”

“Are you taking your lightsaber apart?” Palpatine hissed. “What if you need to fight?”

“It’s okay, Chancellor, I’ll get about five minutes’ warning if the negotiations are going downhill,” Anakin replied. “That should be time to put it back together again…”

Palpatine looked up to Obi-Wan, who – sure enough – was still going.

“...of course, a separate but related issue is what it’s going to be like afterwards,” Obi-Wan said. “In principle the Republic and the Jedi Order could probably accept the existence of Sith so long as we actually knew who they were and they weren’t trying to destroy us. It’s the fact that the first Sith we met in a thousand years tried to run Anakin over and cut Qui-Gon’s head off as an opening move that’s soured us towards them a bit… but are you really going to be content as someone whose whole job is to die for Sidious?”

Dooku stared at Obi-Wan, baffled, then glanced at Palpatine and Anakin.

“What do you mean?” he asked, forcing his gaze back to Obi-Wan.

“Sidious is your Master, we know that much,” Obi-Wan replied. “Partly because you told me yourself. But has he ever put himself in danger? Or has it all been you dealing with Jedi like myself and my apprentice? Putting yourself out there, in danger, while you do exactly what he says?”

He smiled slightly. “A Jedi would accept that, but you’re a Sith – you’ve said so yourself. Sith are self-interested. What do you think your new master is getting out of the situation? Because if you don’t know, it’s got to be something and it’s probably something he doesn’t want to tell you.”

“My master is quite willing to put himself in danger,” Dooku said, then clamped his lips shut at a frantic mouthed shut up from Palpatine.

“Real or feigned?” Obi-Wan asked. “Do you think he wouldn’t manipulate you? He’s been doing it to everyone else – you’ve said it.”

Dooku’s brow furrowed.

“But we’re getting off topic,” Obi-Wan said, turning to look at Palpatine. “Chancellor, what about this as a starting point? Your emergency powers were granted to resolve the crisis, and I’m sure you want to abandon them as soon as possible… so why not take away the whole reason why the individual systems in the Confederacy had problems with the Republic to begin with? Freely allow the departure of any system which wishes to do so, under the emergency powers legislation; enact a progressive tax, one which hits the Core worlds harder owing to their greater ability to pay, to sustain a carrier based navy able to hunt pirates more effectively than conduct occupations or orbital bombardment, and have the navy established on a sector-federal two-level model?”

Palpatine stared at Obi-Wan for at least ten seconds.

“...he’s a Sith Lord,” he said, yet again.

“Oh, shut up,” Dooku replied. “You’re a Sith Lord and I don’t see you doing anything constructive.”

Obi-Wan glanced at Palpatine.

“...you know,” he began. “I’m quite sure you’d need to note that on your financial disclosure forms, your Excellency.”

He turned sideways, so he could see both Dooku and Palpatine at the same time. “What was the point of this whole abduction, anyway?”

“As it happens, I was supposed to kill you,” Dooku said. “It’s the only way to turn Anakin to the Dark Side, if you’re out of the way.”

“Huh?” Anakin asked. “Is something up? I’ve almost got the crystals realigned.”

“This plan looked a lot better this morning,” Palpatine muttered.

“It’s not as hard as it looks,” Cody admitted. His hand tightened around Obi-Wan’s: he didn’t mean the footwork.

“A good partner makes a great difference.”

Obi-Wan turned his cheek into the weathered ridge of Cody’s knuckles: a roll of sensation, like the deck pitching with a wave. Cody didn’t think he was talking about footwork either.

for @elwenyere’s pirate AU | dream version and sketch under the cut