And I Let Go.

Lost.

Sometimes, I can't help but feel lost. What am I doing with my life? Where am I going? Heck, I even get literally lost with directions all the time. Life is all about changes. How you respond and adapt to those changes shows you what kind of person you are. Or so I've been told. I think a person is made up of many strengths and weaknesses, and all of them define each and every one of us beautifully. So regardless of what we determine as "success" in life, I think as long as we are happy with who we are, who cares where we are going, or what we'll be doing next. Let's just take things slowly, day by day. Living in the moment.

Talking to Strangers.

It's been about a week since I've gotten back to reality. While on my trip, I met some very kind strangers. It was my first trip on my own, and I relied heavily on Google, Yelp, and the kindness of strangers. Some of these strangers led me to the most amazing sites I would never had stumbled across if I continued to blindly follow my tourist map. Some of these strangers also informed me about the most delicious, low down places to eat as well. The thing about trips is that they get your mind off of the stress back home. One thing I didn't expect was to help a stranger relieve some of his current stress since he was at home, not on a trip like me. That moment when what I said turned on the lightbulb in his own thoughts. I could see it not only all over his face, but in his eyes as well. He also started to cry. He then exclaimed, "how is it that a young girl like you could realize all that now when it's taken me almost a lifetime to realize what you just told me?" That thought resonated with me. I don't think it's fair to say I picked up on some life thought easier than he did. I just think everyone has their own experiences and will naturally have different life lessons that come on their own schedule. So the moral of this long story? Don't be afraid to talk to all strangers. You never know who will help you or who you can help in return.

So delicious.

Time.

Time is a funny thing. We both love and hate it. There are days and moments when we wished the time would go by faster (for instance, while we are waiting at the DMV). However, there are moments when we wished time could stand still or go slower so we could cherish that moment longer.

Sleep, where art thou?

Look like my insomnia is back tonight. I haven't had bad cases since college, but when I get really stressed I just can't sleep. It's not like I'm even actively thinking about things. Maybe it's just all in my subconscious but it's enough to keep me up. I tend to worry. A lot. I know it's not a good thing, but it's in my nature. Someone used to tell me that I worry too much, but he admired that aspect of me. I never understood why. Why would overthinking and excessive worrying ever be a good thing? Did he not know I have a crazy strict conscience, where things literally eat at me? (True story: I get stress ulcers when I stress.) So whenever something doesn't go the way I planned or I'm anxious about something, my head and body goes into worry mode. To anyone reading this: don't be like me! Don't stress over the little things. Everything happens for a reason. If things don't go the way you wanted, just give it time. Maybe it will go your way after all. Just don't give up. Don't lose faith. With that said, I'm working on following my own advice. Everything will be okay!

Thousands of Times.

I think you’ve crossed my minds thousands of times today. I won’t say millions because I try my best not to think of you. It’s like my security blanket got ripped away. From spending all day talking with you, knowing everything about you, what you’re doing, what you’re feeling... to nothing.

I guess we’re strangers now.

All that’s left is just a feeling of loneliness.

Of extreme sadness.

Who do I turn to now?

http://iglovequotes.net/

Hardship.

They say life becomes richer after hardship, that you get tougher, your heart grows stronger.

But what if I don’t feel those things?

I’m just grateful to have survived that hardship. But I’m still trying to figure out the lesson that hardship presented. Why did I have to go through that? How have I grown from it? Am I tougher or just more guarded now? Is my heart stronger or more wounded?

Confrontation.

Is it better to wait it out to see what happens, or is it better just go outright and ask what's going on? What if the timing isn't right and you just messed everything up? Is it necessary to know right this instance, if nothing is really wrong? Or does the fact that the curiosity is eating at you enough to make you push for an answer? Or maybe it's just a waste of time to bother. Maybe it's all too late and the changes have already been made. And who are you to alter what's already happened?

Bridges.

"It takes both sides to build a bridge." But does it only take one side to burn it down?