obitouchihabackshots

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Jensen Ackles Ass Equation 2.0

Abstract

I propose that a more accurate ass equation is y=-3.4088928e-019*x^9+6.9052649e-016*x^8-5.7819655e-013*x^7+2.5915691e-010*x^6-6.7602807e-008*x^5+1.0534899e-005*x^4-9.7423168e-004*x^3+4.9830296e-002*x^2-1.0748233*x+2.0046681e+002 (for 0<x<472). While an ugly equation, it works much better than the original Jensen Ackles Ass equation. A full copy of this paper (that includes the appendix) can be found here.

Definitions

The original Jensen Ackles Ass Equation: y = -(sin(x^(1.7/6)+4)+(1/x))+10 (for 1<x<12) [found here]

Most common Jensen Ackles Ass Equation picture:

Jensen Ackles Ass Equation 2.0

I decided to try my hand at deriving a Jensen Ackles Ass equation because the original equation uses a sine function, where in data analysis a polynomial function is typically used in non-repeating situations such as this one.

Upon further investigation, I found that I am unable to generate a graph of the original equation (in radians or degrees) that remotely resembles the desired shape. My failure is shown below.

Figure 1 - sin(degrees) in pink, sin(radians) in yellow

I don’t mean to belittle LiveJournal user Potthead’s work on the original equation – without it and their work I may never have begun this crazy quest – I simply mean to emphasize the need for a new/better equation.

As far as I can tell, the red line in the most common Jensen Ackles Ass Equaiton picture was drawn on by hand, because no equation I’ve gotten near can match it exactly.

With that in mind, I first used MATLAB and function “getpoints.m” (see appendix) to record the multiple data points along Jensen’s back/ass as shown in figure 2.

Figure 2 - Data points represented by blue “x"s

I then tried to fit the data to a 4th order polynomial because it has 3 obvious points of inflection. This result was acceptable, but the dip for the lower back was woefully misplaced. The next best order of polynomial is 6th, but that was still not ideal. A 9th order polynomial yields the best results. The 4th and 9th order polynomials can be seen in figure 3. All equations were acquired using appropriate variations of “find_line.m”.

Figure 3 - Comparison between 4th order and 9th order polynomial functions

The equation returned by “find_line.m” is as follows: y=-3.4088928e-019*x^9+6.9052649e-016*x^8-5.7819655e-013*x^7+2.5915691e-010*x^6-6.7602807e-008*x^5+1.0534899e-005*x^4-9.7423168e-004*x^3+4.9830296e-002*x^2-1.0748233*x+2.0046681e+002 (for 0<x<472).

Now, I am aware that I should have stuck with a 4th order polynomial because upper back/lower back/ass curve contains 3 points of inflection, but I decided that my main goal was to draw pretty pictures and not to be a perfect data analyst.  The lovely 9th order curve can be seen in figure 4. Further proof that this is a robust equation can be seen in figure 5 where it is accurately rendered by my graphing calculator.

Figure 4 - A pretty picture

Figure 5 - The booty

Acknowledgements

Potthead for their initial contribution to the mathematical study of Jensen Ackles.

Tommy for his advice on data analysis and not thinking I’m completely insane.

Jackie for providing peer review and not thinking I’m a crazy person.

P.S.

I’ll do more of these if this is appreciated. Feel free to submit pictures.

Tripping in Sabaody

Updated My bat-family fan designs for my imaginary animated show ! ! 🧍🧍🧍

Ages shown are not meant to be accurate to canon = ]! ! !

oh team natsu how i love u

I’ve been sketching dumb valentines in between work tasks, so thought I’d finish them in colour for fun. I could definitely use some typography lessons, lol…

I was half asleep writing Signal, but the next morning I thought it was funny so I kept it. :P Anyway.

download them here / commission your own! :)

oh team natsu how i love u

Hc that Tom deliberately pukes on Tord when he’s drunk

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Red Robin uploads a TikTok from the safety of a roof saying "watch him go!" As Red Hood keeps trying to drive his bike against the current. A big wave comes by and he's slowly dragged downhill. The caption reads "don't drive during floods".

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Signal makes mirages of sharks in the water to scare the shit out of any criminals. Oracle uploads the recordings with Benny hill as background music. Bludhaven escapes the worst of the storm and Nightwing sends pictures to the group chat patting the barely wet concrete just to rub it in. He still slips on a puddle and eats shit, Barbara sends that to the group chat.

Instead of "Looked", consider

glanced

peered

gazed

stared

watched

observed

examined

scrutinized

surveyed

glimpsed

eyed

beheld

inspected

checked

viewed

glanced at

regarded

noticed

gawked

spied

Batman: Urban Legends #22

They’re everything to me, your honor

Kakashi Week 2024.

Day 8: Sky.

Continuation of this.

@kakashiweek

Hi 👋, My name is Mohammad, and I’m reaching out in a moment of desperate need. I’m a father of three young children living in Gaza, and we are caught in the midst of a catastrophic war. Our home is no longer a safe haven, and the future here seems increasingly uncertain. 💔

I’ve launched a fundraising campaign with the goal of raising $40,000 to relocate my family to a safer place where my children can grow up in peace and have a chance at a brighter future. 🕊️🇵🇸

Unfortunately, my previous fundraising efforts were abruptly halted when my account was terminated without explanation. However, I remain determined to keep fighting for my family’s safety and well-being. 🫶

If you could take a moment to read our story, consider donating, or simply share our campaign with others, it would make an incredible difference. Every act of kindness, no matter how small, brings us one step closer to safety and a new beginning. 🙏

Thank you for your time, compassion, and support. ❤

https://gofund.me/fd1faea2 🔗

Please spread this! Donate if you can!

Everyone is so weird about people who cry easily. Fellas, is it evil and manipulative to *checks notes* have an involuntary stress response?

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happy national impersonate your favorite vigilante day to those who celebrate

Part 2

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(｀＾´ )🌟

Kakashi Hatake 🪷🍃

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