Latest Posts by nose235678 - Page 4

This is amazing and a few of these made me almost tear up! Thank you @norroendyrd for making my whole day! I love how you wrote these! If you do a fic like this, imma cry!

I was bored on my way to uni, so I decided to mull over some fake banter between Asala (the elf-blooded teenage daughter of one of my Qunari Inquisitors, Taashath Adaar) and the companions, should she tag along on missions.

 ***

Asala: So you’re like the Qunari-Qunari, are you? All right and proper?

Bull: [chuckles] Oh, I am seldom proper, kid. But yes, I follow the Qun.

Asala: You know, my Da’s not that different from you.

Bull: [grunts disapprovingly]

Asala: No, but you see: you’d think he’d be able to do anything he wants without you Bennies watching over him? Well, nah! With a face and horns like those, you can only be a merc, and nothing else! It’s like a role - only instead of the Qun, it’s assigned to you by humans, and you can never escape! You can’t be an artist, or a baker, or a tailor… Did you know that my Da is actually great at making lace? He…

Taashath: Asala!

Asala: Fine, fine… Shutting up.

Bull: [thoughtfully to himself] Bennies…

***

Cassandra: When I was your age, I had already spent many years training as a Seeker.

Asala: Is that why you are so uptight? Jealous that I get to have fun and you didn’t?

Cassandra: [disgusted noise] My point is that you could at least try learning to be more disciplined. Your father worries about you; it… it distracts him from his duties.

Asala: Yeah, well, so do you, but you don’t see me prattling to you about discipline, yeah?

Varric (if in party): Hah! Good retort, Braids!

Cassandra: I… I don’t know what you mean… How could I possibly…

Asala: Go discipline your cheekbones, Lady Seeker. They are too distracting.

***

Vivienne: If I were you, my dear, I’d spend less time around that Sera character.

Sera (if in party): She’s not a baby, yeah? She can pick whatever friends she likes, with no help from bossy bitches like you!

Vivienne: All those… unseemly pranks, races around the keep in the middle of the night - and you are picking up some of her mannerisms, too! That is quite unbecoming for the Inquisitor’s daughter.

Asala: But I swear I saw you smile when I did that thing to Cullen!

Vivienne: It was… mildly amusing, yes - but that is not my point, darling.

(If Sera is in party) Asala and Sera together: No breeches!

***

Asala: Hey, can I poke you for a moment?

Solas: Not in the literal sense, I hope?

Sera (if in party): Aww look, Master Egghead is still upset about the tadpoles in his mug!

Asala: No… I just thought you might look at this for me. It’s, um, a bracelet - but I can’t put it on cuz my wrists are too big, so I wear it on a chain like an amulet of sorts. It belonged to my mother.

Solas: It has… Elvhen writing on it.

Asala: Sure it does! My mother was an elf!

Sera (if in party): Eww, I knew you were part elfy, but I never figured you’d be hold-on-to-weird-junk sorta elfy!

Solas: And I suppose you want me to translate it for you? Very well. I shall examine it when we are in a quieter place.

***

Sera (if she was in party during the previous banter): Hey, ‘bout last time. I… I sorta take it back and all. You are all right, even with the elfy junk bits!

Taashath: You make it sound like she should be ashamed of her mother!

Sera: Whoah, don’t go all red-eyed on me!

Asala: Da, she didn’t mean anything by it.

Sera: Sure I did! I meant s'all good!

Taashath: Hmph. All the same, think before you talk next time.

Vivienne (if in party): Sometimes you are impossibly demanding, my dear.

***

Solas: That inscription on your mother’s bracelet - it is a prayer to Mythal. I translated the whole text and sent my notes up to your quarters.

Asala: Oh, thanks Egg… I mean Solas. After all these years, we’ll finally know what it means! Even my mother herself could only make out a couple of words. Right, Da?

Taashath: Yes. Most of the folks in Liliel’s alienage could barely read common, let alone the language of the ancient elves.

Solas: That is… Most unfortunate.

Sera (if in party): Ya know what’s unfortunate? Going this long without food! I think I’ll go shoot a ram or somethin’.

***

Asala: You know, Blackwall, the way you go on, I could make a sport of dangling off a cliff to see who runs faster to catch me, you or Da.

Taashath: Don’t even think about it!

Blackwall: Your safety is not a joking matter!

Asala: Ugh, why do you never loosen up around me? Is it something about my face? My voice? Me being taller than you?

Blackwall: You are the Inquisitor’s child. My first duty is to protect you.

Asala: This child is seven-bloody-teen years old, thank you very much.

Blackwall: I thought your father said you had only turned sixteen recently.

Asala: I’ll get back on that when you’re less boring.

***

Asala: Hey Bull, are there singers under the Qun? Or writers?

Bull: That what you wanna be, kid?

Asala: Yeah, kinda… But have you ever seen a Vashoth singer anywhere?

Bull: Can’t say I have. Unless you count drunken singing in taverns.

Asala: Do you think the Qunari Tama… things would have picked the right role for me? The role that matches what I wanna do with my life?

Taashath: Don’t put any ideas into her head, Bull!

Bull: Wasn’t going to, boss. Like I said, the Qun is not for everyone. That teenage rebellion thing your kid likes doing - probably wouldn’t end well.

***

Varric: These poems you write, Braids - they are pretty good.

Asala: Wow, really?

Varric: You actually make the words rhyme without making the whole thing seem like one of those grating kiddy songs.

Asala: Hah, I don’t suppose there are too many kiddy songs about gravestones and doomed lovers and such.

Taashath: About that… I could never get why you have to make all your stuff so dark!

Varric: She’s a teenager, Floofy. Writing dark poetry is part of her job description. But unlike some teenagers, she is actually good at it.

***

Cassandra: I… I happened to be passing by when Varric was looking at your last poem, and accidentally glanced over his shoulder.

Asala: Oh? So now you’re gonna tell me that poetry’s undisciplined too?

Cassandra: No, I just… Why did that woman’s husband have to die?

Asala: So she’d mourn him and break the reader’s heart?

Varric (if in party): Don’t bother, Braids. The Seeker only accepts happily-ever-afters.

Cassandra: That is… the most ludicrous reasoning I ever heard! Besides, she had plenty of opportunity to come to his aid in that battle! If she had flanked the enemies that he had engaged…

Asala: She isn’t based on you, you know. Because that would mean her hubby’s based on Da, and I can’t kill off my own father!

Cassandra: [disgusted noise]

***

Dorian: I hear you made quite a scene at the execution site.

Asala: Hah, I sure did! Shame you weren’t there to see it!

Dorian: I deemed drinking myself witless to be a far more pleasant pastime than watching your father cut off my former mentor’s head.

Taashath: Dorian, we’ve been over this.

Dorian: With you, yes. But not with the girl. She deserves a personal thank you for standing up to a certain valiant leader.

Asala: I am great at that. Years of practice.

(Some time later)

Dorian: I wonder… What exactly did you say to change his mind?

Asala: Well, Da ranted on and on about how your hooded friend turned me into a dead chunk of red lyrium in the bad future, and how hurt and angry he was. And I said, 'So now you know how he is feeling!’. And then Da made this droopy face he is making now and…

Taashath: Will you two please change the subject?

Dorian: Very well. Pray tell me, young Asala, what are your sentiments towards grapes?

***

Cole: Flowing, rhythmic patterns, cryptic but beautiful, how does he do it? You… You really like the way I talk?

Asala: Of course I do! It’s like you’re brimming over with poetry all the time!

Cole: I just try to sort through things I hear. It’s hard sometimes, when people are so solid and are hurting too loudly. I… may not make a lot of sense.

Asala: Hey, I don’t make a lot of sense either! We can start a club!

***

Blackwall: And then he said: but at least the turkey still has its tail!

Asala: Hah, finally! I knew you were not completely hopeless! What a great un-boring story!

Blackwall: It’s from my old army days.

Asala: Huh, I thought army humour would be dirtier.

Blackwall: It is. I had to censor it somewhat so your father wouldn’t kill me.

(Some time later)

Asala: What about Grey Warden humour? Is it dirty too?

Blackwall: Well… The thing is, by the time I joined the Wardens, I had lost some of my boyish penchant for amusing tales.

Asala: Too bad… Well, army humour it is, then! Do I get to hear the uncensored version when I turn eighteen?

Taashath: Asala!

***

(After the cutscene where Dorian tells Taashath that Felix died)

Dorian: It was you, wasn’t it?

Asala: Salt sprinkles on Josie’s chocolate? Yeah, it was me. But I only added a little!

Dorian: No, I mean that poem on Alexius’ desk. The one about the man who planted a tree and then, when it withered, remembered how he had sat in its shade? He told me about it this morning.

Asala: I have no idea what you’re talking about! Trees! Shade! I’d never write such sappy nonsense!

Dorian: You brought the man who almost destroyed the world to the verge of tears. That is quite an accomplishment, young lady - and I say that as an incredibly accomplished person myself.

***

Asala: So… You and Da - did you do the bnb thing or what?

Cassandra: Bnb? What manner of teenage jargon is this?

Asala: Oh, you know… Birds and bees.

Cassandra: Birds and… Oh! Oh, I see!

Taashath: Asala, leave the Lady Seeker alone!

Asala: Still Lady Seeker, huh? So I guess you didn’t do it… What’s stopping you? I mean, you have the hots for each other - it’s sooo obvious!

Taashath: Asala, stop this - or so help me, when we return to Skyhold, you’re grounded!

***

Cole: Woke up from a nightmare again. Demons, calling, clawing, constricting; Uldred’s eyes, bottomlessly black, suddenly not two but a dozen; Meredith bathed in crimson. And then - soft, soothing, shimmering, rainbows dancing over his bed. It had been so long since he started the morning with a smile.

Taashath: What are you talking about, Cole?

Asala: We put shards of coloured glass into the holes in Cullen’s ceiling. Now they both protect him from the rain and give off pretty light!

Taashath: Wait, have you been climbing the roof?

Cole: She didn’t fall. She didn’t die. Today is another day when she didn’t die.

Asala: Yeah… Thanks for this cheery thought, Cole.

Cole: It wasn’t me. It was your father.

***

Dorian: The books I ordered from Tevinter have finally arrived.

Asala: Does this mean you’ll give me a lesson tonight?

Dorian: Of course. You already have those Orlesian volumes, don’t you? Southern historians are biased against Tevinter; our historians are biased against the rest of the world… It will be educational to pit them against one another.

Asala: And fun!

Taashath: Wait, did my daughter just call learning fun?

Dorian: Why the tone of surprise? What did you try to teach her?

Taashath: How to run a merc company.

Dorian: Well, there you have it!

***

Asala: Um, Cassandra… If you hesitate about Da because of me - please don’t.

Cassandra: Because of you?

Asala: Yeah, like… If you worry that I’ll hate you for stealing him and replacing my mother and all.

Cassandra: Nothing could be further from my mind! Even if my relationship with the Inquisitor wasn’t strictly professional!

Asala: Well, in case it ever stops being 'strictly professional’ - I don’t even remember my mother. Da raised me alone. And I actually think it’d be good for him to have someone in his life. Take care of the stupid old fella and all.

Taashath: I heard that!

***

(After Taashath saves the Chargers)

Asala: Hey, Bull… Don’t look so glum! Remember that time you said the Qun isn’t for everyone? Maybe it wasn’t for you too. It just took you this long to figure out.

Bull: Hmph. And what do you suppose is for me then?

Asala: Maryden put some of my poems to music. She’ll be singing them tonight at the tavern. Krem will come, and the other Chargers. I think if you come too, you’ll understand what is for you.

Bull: Huh, I think you spend too much time round Cole. That cryptic shit is beginning to rub off.

Taashath: Bull, what did I tell you?

Bull: Oh, right, boss - don’t swear in front of the kid! Fuck, I’m sorry!

***

(After Revelations)

Asala: You know, it’s kinda funny.

Blackwall: What is?

Asala: I heard stories about the Grey Wardens plenty of times when I was a kid, with the Blight having recently ended and all. And when I met you, you were just like I imagined the Grey Wardens should be.

Blackwall: And now… I have disappointed you.

Asala: What? No! The Grey Wardens are gonna disappoint me from now on, if they don’t pull off all this amazing noble-warrior-atoning-for-his-past stuff!

Blackwall: You… You don’t know the whole story, do you?

Asala: I know enough to believe that you deserve sticking around with our Inquisition. And you can always tell me the uncensored version when I am eighteen, right?

***

Cassandra: Are you feeling better now? Have you asked Vivienne for a potion?

(If Vivienne is in party) Vivienne: She has indeed, my dear. But such things are generally not discussed in public.

(Otherwise) Asala: Sure! But do we… do we have to discuss my darkspawn week in front of everyone?

Cassandra: I just wanted to make sure you were all right.

Asala: Aww, thanks, mom.

Cassandra: You do not have to call me ’m'am’.

Asala: I wasn’t.

***

(After Last Resort of Good Men)

Asala: Damn, Dorian.

Dorian: Was that expletive a sign of admiration for my good looks?

Asala: I mean… My Da yells at me sometimes, and tries to punish me when I mess up… And this makes me think that he is the meanest person in the world… But it’s nothing like what you went through, is it?

Dorian: Oh, there were plenty of temper tantrums on my part too.

Asala: And for good reason! Me, I’m just a selfish teenager who wants attention - but you… You are amazing and you deserve better!

Dorian: You are not exactly worthless yourself, young lady.

***

(After Bring Me the Heart of Snow White)

Vivienne: Bastien’s family shall be holding a musical salon as a tribute to both himself and his wife. I would very much like it if you attended, my dear.

Asala: Whaa- ? Really?

Vivienne: If your father gives you permission, of course. You have such a wonderful singing voice; it is wasted in the courtyards and bath houses of Skyhold.

Asala: But… Won’t they be scared of me being… me? Unless you give me a mask to wear, I suppose.

Vivienne: It will be a half-face mask only; otherwise how would you sing?

Asala: Oh.

Vivienne: Being who you are ought to be a source of strength, not weakness. Always remember that, darling.

I love these posts

Tauriel’s Sermon on the River Bank (10/34)

Please! For the love of the TITANS! Jack Black, I'm looking at you! You did like three Kung Fu Panda movies and a TV show for it! Now, you gotta go back to Bladehenge, man! What about Ophelia's black tears?! What about a reunion tour?! Make Doviculus have a son! I don't give a fuck! HAVE EDDIE FIGHT ALL THE GENRES THAT TRIED TO KILL THE METAL!!! Just make it epic and worthy of the metal starved FANS! DO IT FOR THE FANS! Do it for Lars, man...

It's been five years. I'm ready for a Brutal Legend sequel.

Dear god! Please! I love this page! I love your writing! If you did a Mass Effect Reaction page I might actually have a heart attack of happiness!

Are there any Shakarian and/or Mass Effect fans out there?

If so, I could really use your help with something, if you wouldn’t mind…?

Thank you.

Yes. Yes, I have. :')

If you know Brutal Legend and/or played it

Reblog/like this post. I want to see how many fans there are on tumblr.

Me going into any uncertain situation from now on: I’M ONE WITH THE FORCE THE FORCE IS WITH ME. I’M ONE WITH THE FORCE THE FORCE IS WITH ME.I’M ONE WITH THE FORCE THE FORCE IS WITH ME.I’M ONE WITH THE FORCE THE FORCE IS WITH ME.

Imagine being a Jedi undercover to hide from the Empire after your parents were killed in Order 66 and deciding to join the rebellion to steal the plans for the Death Star...

And along the way, this knuckle head falls in love with you...

I give that voice an A+++++

Reblog if you find Brynjolf's accent sexy

Imagine being a race similar to humans, but living for a very long time, befriending Anikan as a child, Luke as a physical teen, then falling in love with Ben around the physical age of twenty-five...walking through the dark, back into the light, then becoming a Grey Jedi to save Ben...

HUX: *sniffing in disgust* my god, what is that smell?!

REY: Teen angst and daddy issues.

*Both look at Kylo*

REN: What?

What the actual fuck??

I do!

Reblog this if you think Thranduil should get his own movie.

This is scary accurate. Any fellow Cancers out their?

The Signs as Girlfriends

Aires: The girlfriend who loves to cheat at boardgames and out run their partner, is always attempting to look daring and brave, likes to climb all over their partner and leave little hickies and love bites, will definitely chew out someone for their partner, likes to show their best features in front of their partner at all times

Taurus: The girlfriend that loves to kiss looong goodbyes, is always poking or nudging at their partner at an attempt to get their attention, always knows the smoothest responses to things, neck kisses, likes to sleep holding/being held, dirty jokes, subtle (not so subtle) flirt

Gemini: The girlfriend that is low-key jealous af, likes to wakeup their partner to kisses, pda, holds their partner’s whole arm when walking together, likes to have their hair played with, likes to run their fingers over their partner’s chest/abdomin,hardcore dirty talk, is honestly so happy to be tolerated

Cancer: The girlfriend who protects their precious baby at all costs, loves to listen to the partner’s passions and ambitions, is always looking for things their partner would like/things that remind them, touchy-touchy-touchy all the time, if an awkward tension or disagreement occurs their first instinct is to hug their partner, would actually rip someone to shreds for their partner, likes to feel praised and adored

Virgo: The girlfriend who is low-key concerned for their partner at all times, is always worried when their partner does anything dangerous(physically or otherwise), really soft, likes to pet/rub their partner, gives the cutest little nick names, a bit of a tease, always trying to figure their partner out

Libra: The girlfriend who gives back scratches, lots of giggling, likes to bake for their partner, will kick their partner’s butt in Mario Kart, is attracted to tall people, heavy breathing, likes to touch their partner’s head/hair, likes to be comforted, shower kisses, strange dance moves, secret flirts

Scorpio: The girlfriend who loves to see their partner doing things deemed to be kind traits like playing with kids or dogs(they find sweetness a huge turn on), part of them wants a dominant partner but are drawn to more submissive, gives great massages, the expert on how to turn someone on, secretly really likes the more popular person for a partner, moaners

Leo: The girlfriend who wants all of their friends to love their partner, seeks approval and admiration often, needs someone who is equal to them in status and reputation, like feeling submissive as they are normally alphas, buys expensive and over-the-top gifts, so much PDA, smiling into kisses, up for anything

Sagittarius: The girlfriend who loves to tease and make fun of their partner, likes going on fun and adventurous dates, has really strange(yet cute) nick names for their partner, will definitely steal their partner’s clothes(will not return them), super fun and hot, often ends good relationships on the search for something better, great hair, pillow fights

Capricorn: The girlfriend who is meme AF, wants to shower their partner in affection but doesn’t quite know how, loves a funny guy, wants someone who will draw out their silly side, fantastic lips, shows their affection in cute little moments of excitement with a peck or a random ‘I LOVE YOU’, supper funny, actually really chill, secretly romantic

Aquarius: The girlfriend who loves to just look at how attractive their partner is, likes to be more submissive, always putting their feet on their partner??, hates coming up with date plans, doesn’t dress up often but when they do they look like stars, loves cheek/nose kisses, sleepy makeup sessions, neck stroking

Pisces: The girlfriend who makes cute little crafty/artsy things for their partner, likes a partner that will be a music and movie snob with them, making out in the pool, very sentimental, will keep gifts their partner gives them forever, reading and coming up with stories, little pixies

This is amazing and I love it! Let's go!

Please reblog if you enjoy Marvel and you're a woman

I have been having an argument with a friend and he says that Marvel is for guys, please help me prove to him that there are lots of women who like Marvel!

When you're in a dormant fandom just sittin and watchin other fandoms float on by on the breeze of trash

Coming into a fandom late

Burn...

[ Maccready disliked that ]

~Zevran- love him to death, glad he's a friend. ~Anders- love him, too, but I'll be smacking him upside the head half the time...especially in Kirkwall

some people were complaining the original of this was too easy; so here’s a hard version for nerds and people who are good at wordsearches

all words are up and down, no diagonals, some backwards

knock yourselves out

Is it just me...or are Skywalker men sort of insane?

Because- I mean…Anikan wanted to be a dictator…Luke kissed his sister…and Kylo BEN has more daddy issues than Batman and he ended up killing one of his parents… (I mean they’re all basically the same crazy except Anikan is the only one without a murderous father…and he’s the craziest of all of them)

Y'all motherfuckers just made me cry with this beautifulness! I need a hug... :')

Heaven on (Middle) Earth

    “Oh mama, look at what your grandson found in the attic while we were looking for his pirate costume!”

    Your daughter strode over to you with her child following closely behind. He waddled over and plopped a magnolia colored book on your lap. The cover reminded you of the adventure book Ellie made from “Up,” a movie that you took your grandchildren to see a few years ago. It took you a moment to dig through the overflowing stack of memories that occupied your mind, but you remembered it to be a photo album filled with long ago adventures.

Keep reading

Imagine knowing Geralt of Rivia for many years...but when he finds you again, you've stopped your questing and become a bard...singing with the same voice that entranced him all those years ago...

Geralt stops dead in his tracks as he passes in front of Dandelion’s tavern in Novigrad. He couldn’t believe his own ears…as the sound of a silken voice he hadn’t heard for an age came to his ears. Ciri, Triss and Yennefer who were walking with him gave him a queer look. “Geralt, what on earth are you stopping for?” Triss asked. Geralt weighed his options and took a deep breath. “I-…I need to go see who’s playing.” He said awkwardly, praying in his mind that it was actually you. He hurried into the tavern, listening to the end of your song, smiling faintly as his suspicion was confirmed. The girls just watched him as he ignored the crowd, lowering his hood and walking right up on stage, hugging you tightly just after you set your lute down. After a warm greeting and some explanation, he came to introduce you to the girls and they were all stunned by you. “Ladies, I’d like you to meet Y/n…I’ve known her longer than Vesemir.” He smiled just a bit more warmly. “G-Geralt-” Ciri stammered. “Her eyes and hair- Is she-…a Witcher…?” She asked in shock. “A woman as a Witcher…that’s-…not possible.” Triss said with a breathtaken tone. You just smiled and bowed low. “I stopped hunting years ago…but I like to keep my edge, working with Dandy. It’s wonderful to finally meet the women that he sings about.” You chuckled…it was the first time you had seen Geralt in nearly a hundred years…

My OC Sole Survivor is a lil' somethin' like this...

Name: Christine Shaw (named after her mother) *Goes by “Shaw” after crawling out of 111 Age (Pre-frozen storage): 24 Looks: 5, 9. Walks with purpose. With all of Her running around and hard work, she’s very fit, if even a bit muscular for a woman of her physical age (like, she could carry a grown man in her arms with little difficulty) Her eyes are blue, light with a dark outter ring, (scares people with her intense glare) Shaw’s hair was very long and dirty blonde when she came out of 111, but shaved the sides of her head, having a long warrior’s wolf tail, with a couple thin braids in it, held with turquoise beads and crow feathers, one small bead is wood, carved from one of Shaun’s letter blocks from his destroyed nursery. Her eyebrows are darker than the rest of her hair, naturally, and they’re well kept, only a single scar on her face from an encounter with her first Deathclaw, coming down her forehead, through her left eyebrow and almost reaching her jawline. She doesn’t wear makeup, doesn’t need it. Shaw is very clean about herself, will take a bath or shower whenever she’s in a hotel, inn or in her house at Santuary. Has good teeth. Road outfit: Vault-Suit, fully upgraded, with tan cowboy boots, fingerless leather gloves and a leather harness to hold many small knives and a not-so-small hunting knife hidden in a sheath on the lower part of the sash part of her harness. Over that, she wore a heavy, leather trench coat. Another belt, around her waist, was an ammo belt with nicely polished, brass rounds for the scoped rifle she carried on her back at almost all times. One both hips she carried two revolvers…one of them was Kellogg’s gun, but both were 45 calibers. Those bullets were lined up on her harness over her chest on the sash. Her PipBoy on her left, dominant arm was well taken care of. Where ever she goes, she always wears her favorite, dark brown cowboy hat with silver and turquoise beads strung around the top. *Shaun is her baby half-brother, not her son (cause fuck canon) *Nate was her father that had Christine with her mother when they were still in high school (they were 16). *After her mother passed away during childbirth, Nate named her after her mother. *Nate eventually joined the industrial work force to help give Christine the life she deserved, as it paid well and he didn’t think he could be a good father, then. *Christine was left with her Grandparents and didn’t see Nate much until she was sixteen, but she adored her father and he treasured her. *Her Grandfather got her into old cowboy movies, with Clint Eastwood and John Wayne, because he never had a daughter and didn’t know what to do…but it worked out better than he though. *Hates dresses! *Loves a good fitting pair of jeans and broken in cowboy boots. *Went to a shooting range with Nate and her Grandfather every weekend (getting better than both of them) until Nate met Christine’s stepmother and they moved WAY north to Santuary Hills outside of Concord. *She has the quick draw skills of a wild west legend. *Prefers distance shots with a sniper rifle though, enjoys the precision of a clean shot like that. *Can hunt like nobody’s business! I’m talkin’ tracking, trap setting, blind building…she can do it all! *Plays cards and has a deadly poker face. *Dogmeat is like the Tanto to her Lone Ranger. *Will actually blow your head off if you hurt her wonderful lil’ dickins of a pup. *Has dogs running around Santuary like a pack that only listens to her. *Somehow found wild horses (calls them Radsteeds; they have cat-like eyes, patchy hair and they eat meat sometimes- cause fallout) *Names her horse “Houston,” even though it’s a mare. *Nick is her #1 fan, says: “Watchin’ you in the wastes is like seein’ an old film come to life. It makes an old bot like me proud to walk with you, Shaw.” *Preston low-key loves her, (ever since she ripped through Raiders and then walked into the room like it was no big deal/super concerned about them) but she knows. *She low-key loves being called “General” by the Minutemen. *She saves Danse from himself. Just walks in, takes his pistol from him and smacks him upside the head with it before shouting at him, “The fact that you feel this way makes you more human than most! But killing yourself is the coward’s way out and the Danse I know would nut.up, not crawl in a hold and die!!! If you ever felt anything, for our friends, for me, you will walk out of that door…because feeling means you’re alive.” She then composed herself and turned on heel, walking out. *Danse meets her outside where she stands with two horses and open arms to comfort him…then, they go back to Santuary Hills for a hot meal and sleep. *Kills Elder Maxson; takes his coat and gun as a trophy. *Piper is her best friend. Just needing some girl time sometimes, you know? *Maccready runs with her the most, follows orders. They flirt shamelessly in combat or intense situations, but they’re just friends. *Shaw rarely drinks, but after huge events, like meeting Shaun’s old and young clone self, she can be found in some kind of rutty, Raider bar, drinking heavily and looking for a fight. *Maccready is usually the one to drag her out…after she expresses some rage… *Loves her cowboy hat to death (literally) *Once when she and Maccready had been captured, by Gunners, the leader took her hat. After they escaped, Shaw refused to leave until she got her hat back…the girl ended up killing every last one of them. *Will fight you if you cat call her. Hancock learned that the hard way… *Will shank a bitch if you get in her way while she’s angry. *Once stared down a Super Mutant and won… *Teaches kids in Santuary how to care for things around the village from the animals to the guns. (Extra credit to the kid who can assemble their rifle the fastest, in the form of a cookie) *Will murder you brutally if she catches you making fun of her for being a Vault-Dweller. *Hates going into Vaults. *Says “son of a dick,” “ass-monkey,” and “yuppie.” (yuppie=city folk) along with other odd sayings. *Has a slight twang in her voice from growing up in Pennsylvania, going to rodeos and such all her life. *A child she finds gives her an old, silver sheriff’s badge…she keeps it in her house so she won’t lose it. *Kills Shaun in the end. Says, “You were my little brother once and I loved you…but now…? You’re just a giant bag of dicks.” She said in monotone as she pulled back the hammer on her revolver. Before he could even make a face at the odd expression, she pulled the trigger…and she was done with it… She had a real family to go home to… *Shaw is a Chuck Norris approved badass

An Actual Conversation I Had

Me: Elder Maxson is fucking twenty, you guys. Elder Maxson isn't even through puberty yet. Elder Maxson could not walk into a Jewel Osco and buy beer.

Lawrence: Elder Maxson couldn't buy beer at a convenience store? Jesus christ. Imagine being the person who has to card him. Imagine ANYONE carding him. I wouldn't card him.

Ricky: He looks like a fifty year old man, NO ONE would card him.

Me: As a cashier, I'd have to card him. But picture this- you're working a register at ten o'clock at night, the only other person up front is an eighty year old woman with a hearing problem named Marianne. Elder Maxson walks into your line with a six pack of beer. He hands you his ID when you ask for it; he's twenty, you know he's twenty, he knows you know he's twenty, he knows exactly what he's fucking doing. Would YOU refuse to sell Elder Maxson beer? Would you be the one to call the manager on Elder Maxson? Would you call the authorities on a man who looks like he could supplex you through the floor? If it was me, I'd give him the fucking beer, man. I choose life.

Snape: We already have potions…candy…and magical creatures that do our bidding…so…why not? Turn to page 394 of your Wizard-dex, Mr Ketchum!

Imagine a game like Pokemon Go for every fandom.

A human woman in strange tattered armor sitting at the bar...with a bone plated, reptilian demon in blue armor...

*cries forever*

Provide your own context.

Love these guys

Dangers of working on a set.

That’s what I said.

This made my fucking day!

Granted, nobody in these movies is three-dimensional—but there seems to be a deliberate ban on developing Thranduil.

The Superlatively Superfluous Adventures of Legolas (&Tauriel)

Dateline: Laketown Refugee Camp (14/40)

I like this...like a lot! It's cute!

headcanon that James Vega knows all disney songs ever. Literally all of them, he will challenge you to a duel and he will win.

he puts on his disney station while he’s working out and just goes at it, and any poor sap who comes down to the shuttle bay gets accosted/serenaded.

Steve, on the other hand, did not have every disney song ever memorized, but by the time they got to Sur’kesh, he felt like had a pretty good handle on it.

WHY YOU GOTTA HURT ME, BIOWARE?!? I thought we were friends?!?!

Bioware: “No big Andromeda announcements on N7 day this year ;) ;)”

Fandom:

Bioware: *releases new Andromeda trailer*

Fandom: 

Bioware: “This is Commander Shepard, signing off.”

Fandom: 

(strangled sobs)

We are travelers constantly moving forward and looking back. Alone and as one. 

Good Lord! Commander Cullen with facial hair! Look at it! I can’t. I just can’t. Like uuuuuuuuggghhhhh!!!!

commander.

I have a feeling that Thranduil and his wife had a relationship with bubbly moments, but also enough passion to fill every shelf of romance novels in a book store.

I’m talking tender and hot behind closed doors, but best friends before anything else. Also, the most awesome parents ever when Legolas was born…like Morticia and Gomez awesome!