Latest Posts by nebulus-collective - Page 2

Right? Like wtf lmao.

being a system is so funny like. oh something really shitty happened. well time to not know who i am for like a week lol!!!!!!

Exactly, all systems are different in their own, beautiful ways.

Just like knowing an autistic person means you know one autistic person, knowing a system means you know one system. Systemhood/plurality is an incredibly diverse experience and it's impossible to get the full scope of the lives of every system out there by talking to one system, or even just a handful.

What feels restricting to one system may fit another perfectly. What feels comfortable to one system may make another feel dehumanized. Something that's a common experience in one system may be downright impossible in another. And on and on with many personal preferences and experiences.

This is fine, and normal. We're all unique, whether that's unique as individuals or unique as collectives. Just remember that the way one system works has no bearing on how another works; do not presume you know everything about systems just due to your own experiences or those you've talked to. It all depends on the system/plural/person in question.

NORMALIZE IN-SYS RELATIONSHIPS!!!!

Okay aggressive title aside I wanna talk about romantic headmate relationships

I want expressing them to be more normalized!!! I think it's generally well known at this point that headmates can have relationships with each other. But I never see it talked about much beyond that it's a thing that happens.

I wanna hear about how people experience their relationships. I wanna hear what folks do together and how they express their love.

But something we especially wanna hear is how systems do physical affection.

"Physical affection?! But you only have one body!" THAT DOES NOT STOP US IN FACT IT MAKES IT EXTREMELY INTIMATE

We hold our own hands. We kiss our own body. We wrap our arms around ourself. And we want this to be normalized. Okay sure maybe it looks a little odd at first, but this is normal to us. And we want others to see it as normal and okay too.

(I swear to fucking god if "showing headmate affection on camera" becomes the new thing used to fakeclaim like how switching on camera is I will YELL)

I wanna be able to show our affection in front of someone else and make them uncomfortable NOT BECAUSE IT'S OUR OWN BODY but because they're being a third wheel just like to singlet couples.

at the end of the day youre just never going to be able to convince me that white women talking over men of color is feminist praxis.

it isnt new, it isnt radical, and we arent going to get anywhere until you reckon with the fact that being a woman doesnt mean you cant be racist towards people with "male privilege"

As awareness of plurality continues to spread online, that also means more and more people will realize they are plural. And unfortunately, there will be a response from certain gatekeepy exclusionist types, who will push back against these newfound systems and insist on invalidating them. They’ll insist they’re just hopping on a trend, or just fooling themselves, or whatever other justification they can make up to maintain the idea that being plural is extremely rare and being plural means suffering for it.

Don’t fall for it. Being plural presents challenges and difficulties without question, but being plural also can bring joys and clarity that weren’t possible otherwise. Being plural can be hard, and it can be beautiful.

No two systems present and function exactly the same ways. No two systems are plural for the exact same reasons. So we can’t expect there to be an absolute common trait present in every system. So any attempt to weed out the “fakers” is pointless and malicious.

If someone believes themself to be plural, they have good reason to. No further “proof” needed. If someone comes to us believing themself to be plural, we will help them along without critique or question. And above all we will be happy for them. Even if someday they realize they aren’t plural, that process of being allowed to question and experiment is so important, and they should be allowed to do so regardless of where they end up.

Plurality is a spectrum that encompasses a vast swathe of experiences and outlooks. It can be difficult to reckon with, which is why community is so vital. And as that community online grows and becomes more and more visible, we should all do our part, systems and singlets, to make sure these newfound systems feel safe, seen, and welcome.

btw 'syscourse' and plural infighting isn't accomplishing anything. back in the late 90s and early 2000s, the only communities and resources for plurals that were widely available were for and by non-traumagenic systems. the only people who were advocating for normalizing and accepting plurality on a large scale were non-traumagenic systems. if you did research into plurality 10 - 15 years ago, most of the results that came up would have been experiences written by spiritual and natural plurals.

many people at the time were expressing their dislike of forcing every single plural to identify as if they had trauma- many found this insulting to themselves, and rightfully so! no one should be forced to identify in a way they don't agree with just to rightfully be a part of a community they already occupy. this obsession with "you can only be plural if you have trauma" has only come about extremely recently. i found out about plurality through the otherkin community. i was actually told about DID by someone in the spiritual plurality community. people don't seem to understand that most non-traumagenic systems have respect for traumagenic systems and don't gatekeep their spaces to prevent us from entering.

older plural spaces on the web like healthymultiplicity accepted all plurals. the goal of the community was to show that you can live as plural and not have it be a tragedy or something to "fix". if anything, folks with dissociative disorders owe a LOT to non-traumagenic systems for pushing to normalize plurality without implying that we HAVE to integrate our headmates and try to stop being plural. a huge part of the early online plural community was there to push that plurals can and do live happy lives and shouldn't view their plurality as a bad thing

it's not going to make singlet society see us in a better light. it's not going to get people to understand plurality better. it's not going to get us better mental health resources. it's not going to improve the quality of care for dissociative and traumagenic systems. all you're doing is bullying someone else that you don't understand simply because you don't agree with them.

you're not going to recover from your trauma or understand your own plurality better by denying the existence of other types of plurality. you're not "making the community safer" by gatekeeping. telling other people how their brains work is policing their identities. whether or not you want to accept it, if you forcefully kick endos out of plural spaces, you are the cop you claim to hate.

fighting with people on your own team will never net you a victory. to every other dissociative and traumagenic system: endos are on your side. you are wearing the same jersey. you are made of the same flesh and blood. enough. come together to share your similarities instead of fighting over differences. celebrate the diversity that plurality offers. don't take someone else's identity personally. someone can share the space with you without having to match exactly how you identify. diversity is what makes a community thrive.

Treating your headmates like separate people isn't worsening your condition by default by the way. Treating them with respect isn't making you dissociate more. Final fusion is a fine thing to try and achieve, but people need to understand that functional multiplicity is a thing you can work to achieve in therapy too. Please stop pushing the idea that you need to treat your headmates like a disorder or curse in order to heal. You can be happily multiple if you want that.

Being plural is like

Woah I’m glad that breakdown is over, I hope no one saw that.

The fucking Grinch: Yeah

being plural means a headmate pulling you into headspace to cuddle with you and help you go to sleep because of your& insomnia

being plural means smiling and laughing at a joke one of your headmates made, or having witty banter with them as you make a meal that you'll both be able to enjoy

being plural means a headmate going "its okay, you don't have to do this, i can do it" and you thanking them because yeah, you cant do that, and thats okay

being plural means thinking about your headmates when buying new clothes, or seeing a shirt or pair of pants for sale and going "they'd love that !!"

being plural means making one of your headmate's simplyplural profile, and spending lots of time perfecting it so that it fits them to a T

being plural means knowing you aren't alone

being plural means knowing that your headmates, your friends, your family, are always there for you

being plural means love.

THIS POST IS INCLUSIVE OF SYSTEMS OF ALL ORIGINS !!! DO NOT BRING SYSCOURSE ONTO THIS POST.

Here’s my metaphor for systemhood that I tell my singlet friends.

Imagine you’re playing a first person video game. You have the controller, you control your character. It’s a normal first person game. You are an alter, the character is the body. This is fronting.

Other people live with you. Sometimes, they come into the room and sit and watch while you play. They sometimes try to guide you, give you advice on what to do next. They don’t always agree, and they can argue with each other. Other times they scream at you that you’re doing everything wrong and you suck at this game. This is co-consciousness.

Imagine how distracting it would be for people around you to tell you what to do, or to scream at each other or at you, even if they have good intentions. It wouldn’t be easy to focus on your game, would it?

Then sometimes, something happens in the game that prompts you to hand off the controller to someone else so they can play and you get a break. This is (some types of) switching. This can be good.

Other times, someone rips the controller out of your hand or fights you for it. This is (other types of) switching. And sometimes, six other players hook up their controllers, but there’s only one character to play as. So all of you have your controllers, but you’re all trying to play the same character. This is cofronting.

Imagine how difficult that would be. Imagine how hard it would be to try and play a game while someone is trying to take the controller from you, or while six other people are trying to play too.

There are also times that nobody is playing, or you can’t decide who should play. What’s happening to the character in the game? What are they doing if no one is playing? This is dissociation. The character is doing nothing. They’re stuck.

This is the best metaphor I have come up with for being a system. It’s something a lot of people get because they’ve played games before.

some kid in my art course today said, WITHOUT ANY PROMPTING, "man, i wish there was a way to like, split up your brain... Into like, different people, to handle different tasks..." And i shot up and was like "OH!! ACTUALLY-" And he cut me off with "no like yknow without trauma" And i had to force myself not to infodump tumblr plural culture and to just say "yeah theres a whole community around that, its a thing lol" and another friend told me after class that they saw me start VIBRATING cause i got so excited 😭

Be Openly Scary

Society is scared of a lot of things it shouldn't be. A lot of those things can't be helped, a lot of those things don't hurt anyone, and a lot of those things are not what people even think they truly are.

So you know what?

Talk about your hallucinations, your delusions, your psychotic symptoms. Share things about your gender identity whether it be nonconforming, trans, xenogender or anything else. Scream about your nonhumanity and animal urges. Be open and unwavering about your systems existence, presenting as more-than-one wherever you want. Use and introduce your pronouns, even if people find them weird or offputting. Rock back and forth, pace, twitch and stim in any way you please. Wear things that reflect your identity in public. Get tattoos and body mods to your heart's content. Tell people about your personality disorders.

Don't make yourself small because others can't handle you. Be open where safe. Be you. Be scary.

Tbh the more “weird” a person is, the more I get confused when they don’t support other “weird” people

Like how can you be a system and alterhuman and objectum and autistic and trans and queer and schizophrenic etc etc but then be anti endo or anti “contradictory” labels

Like

Like dude those are our cousins what are you talking about

You’re weird as fuck why are you complaining about other people being weird in different ways tf

being plural is crazy because you do the most mundane shit and have a bunch of people making live commentary on it like they’re streamers making reaction content

- 🦇

Some of us just come pre-labeled idk man lol

“Stop thinking of alters as separate people” this and “alters are each there own different entities that shouldn’t be blended” that

How about we let each system decide what feels best to them and stop policing systems that are already dealing with a very complex and varying disorder

Racism in the plural community is a real problem. Racism in the medical community is a real, dangerous problem.

Pour one out for DID/OSDD systems of color that go undiagnosed or misdiagnosed because the psychiatric institution dismisses them.

Pour one out for all systems of color who feel isolated because the online community often conflates plurality with whiteness.

Pour one out for systems of color who get called racist or appropriative because their systems incorporate aspects of their own culture, but people automatically assume they must be white.

Pour one out for systems of color whose voices are silenced because of their ethnicity.

Uplift non-white systems. Talk to non-white systems, not over them.

"i would notice if you switched, so you must be faking"

bitch I can't even tell if i switched 80% of the time

Undiagnosed systemhood is

Thinking you just have no sense of self, and that's why your "personality" keeps changing.

Feeling like you're watching someone else operate your body, with no idea how or why.

Having strange deja vu moments where you feel like you've done something, but you don't remember any specific details.

Feeling like years of your life weren't actually lived by you, but by someone else that still exists somewhere in you.

Saying things that you can't control or don't agree with and not being able to do anything to fix it.

Feeling like you don't belong in your body, like you aren't actually you.

Litterally so me.

Any other neurodivergent pagans feel like they don't really feel love towards their gods, due to lack of ability to express emotions, and seeming uninterested in prayers?

Cuz i do 😭

practices to bond with your deities

i'm most familiar with Greco-Roman deities so i'll use them for examples, but feel free to ask me about a specific deity! which Greco-Roman deity you should work according to your birth chart indications

communication

say "good morning" / "good night" - this is not only out of respect but developing a habit to include them more and more in day to day life

talk to them - whether you're expressing gratitude, praying, asking for advice, or even just talking to them about your day, this will show you are thinking about them and looking up to them. if you feel uncomfortable or can't talk out loud, a journal works just as well

write to them - speaking or journaling, writing is an art form they will appreciate. make journal entries to them, write them a poem or a song. it doesn't have be a fancy, even just phrases here and there will make a huge difference

document your experiences - after spending time with them, write down how it went. keep track of what they seem to like, what they tell you, even small details that don't seem to stick out because when you go back and look, they might stick out then or you might notice patterns

share your food - giving your deity a small portion of your food each time you eat is a way to communicate your honor and respect to them, and also learn what foods/drinks they enjoy

divination - this is more than just tarot cards! there's other forms of cartomancy, there's dowsing, numerology, etc. i personally use astrology <3

connect with their energy - doing activities that appeal to your deity regularly with strengthen your connection with them. for example, my deities are Diana/Artemis and Luna/Selene, so I spend a lot of time in nature, especially at night under the moonlight

honoring

research them in great detail - to get to know your deity, learn everything there is to know: names and epithets, symbols, attributes (plants trees, stones, animals, planets, week days, etc.) domains, family, popular stories and myths

cook a full meal - you can decide on a meal that is associated with them (like steak for Mars/Ares) but you don't have to, either way just dedicating time and energy to make an entire meal just for them will say a lot

altar - this is probably what you will hear the most, but don't feel heavy pressure. it doesn't have to be huge, fancy, or expensive; you can start out with literally just a candle and some leaves. slowly over time decorate and personalize it to your and your deity's liking

offerings - this is more than just sharing your food with them, it's actually giving something solely to them. have you ever been in the mood for a certain food even though you weren't hungry at all? that might be them hinting that they want it. gifts that you think they'd like or you felt called to get, including crafts you made yourself

share your worship - i want to say this is 100% not a necessity, so don't feel stressed if there is no one you can talk to about your deity work. i have no one to talk to about it, but i share freely on this blog and am trying to make friends online who i can share with! not only is sharing a way to show respect and love for them, but others can give you ideas of devotion and connection

creation/digital

going digital is a great way to worship and connect with your deity, especially if you cannot be open about it

make a playlist - include songs that remind you of them or that you'd think they'd like that involve their domains or stories/myths

art - literally any form of art they will appreciate. music like singing or songwriting, drawing, painting, sculpture, literature like reading books they'd like or writing stories, poems, songs, etc., dancing, theater or acting, or literally anything else. you can get specific, like learning an instrument for Apollo

exploring - exploring areas you think they'd like or just new areas in general. you might find points of interest they'd enjoy (like crossroads for Hecate), or see/hear their sacred animals, or find things that coincide with their stories/attributes/symbols

spending time with them through hobbies - the best way i can describe this is through examples: going to parties/celebrating for Bacchus/Dionysus, cleaning and taking care of your home for Vesta/Hestia, gardening for Ceres/Demeter or Proserpina/Persephone, taking care of the ocean for Neptune/Poseidon, the list goes on and on. anything that involves their domain

pinterest board - kinda self explanatory, making a pinterest board (or a physical picture board/wall if you prefer) with images of your deity and their symbols/attributes.

phone background - setting your phone background as an image or your deity is not only a sign of honor and respect, but will help you develop the habit of thinking of them regularly. can also spark conversation with others without being direct about your worship!

The person who re-blogged this wants you to know that they are open to questions regarding their spiritual path, witchcraft and faith, and in fact, would love to talk about their spiritual path with you and have a casual talk!!

(this applies to me pspspsps HMU , don't hesitate, i am always open to respectful discussion of our spiritual paths and just being friends!!)

I don't know who needs to hear this but...

That thing you're worried about is probably going to work out one way or another. Give it to the Divine and relax.

I see people speak of Dionysus as a women’s god and I propose: Herakles as a woman’s god. Sometimes ladies need a god of masculinity to be for them you know.