Actually So Upset We Didn't Get To See Andrew's Reaction To Neil Going "oh He's Gay? So I Guess Him And

*snaps in enthusiastic agreement*

i think one reason why so many people fail to understand andrew and neil's relationship is because people don't know what it is to be aspec. and obviously the aspec umbrella is wide and varied and no one size fits all, but at the heart of their relationship, neil is demisexual. and i fully believe andrew is some form of aromantic. and obviously their shared history of trauma (of all kinds) colors their relationship and their sexualities and actions. but aspec people (and the people in relationships with those aspec people) develop such different relationships than allo people. they care differently, and it's often the care that becomes most important, rather than (just) the attraction. like yes, i choose you because i see you because i am interested in you because i don't quite understand you but i want to, i need to, and i am committed to sticking around regardless of whether we are a legal partnership or not.

people argue all the time that andreil would grow to say i love you some day, that they'd eventually heal enough to get married, but that isn't healing. that's ignoring a vital part of each of them. not only are they both still learning what love is, but love is not what their relationship is built around. they did not ~FaLl In LoVE~ they built a partnership around taking care of the other person. sure they were attracted to each other in their own ways, but andrew doesn't look at neil like he's his happily ever after romance. neil is the person who wants andrew to live, who wants andrew to be happy, who wants andrew to know that he has value even when he's not a good person. and andrew is the person who wants neil to be safe, who wants neil to be happy, who wants neil to know that he has value even when he isn't playing exy. their "romance" comes from holding each other up, from calling each other on their shit, from being a safe space when the world has proven it is anything but. neil is the one who almost starts to imagine some kind of long-term partnership in such conventional terms and andrew is so unconcerned with what that partnership looks like...he just knows the two of them will continue holding each other up as long as they can. and sure they'll have sex and sleep in the same bed and get cats together and all that "romantic" shit, but it's more than romance. it's a life. it's security. it's a chance to rewrite the trauma of their pasts.

and yeah to an outsider all that is romantic, sure. but i don't think andrew and neil see it like that. their relationships is all facts and truths. they feel safest in these absolutes, in the trust they are building together, in the shared language they are crafting between tentative touches and long stares. but to label it something as banal as ~romance~ undersells just what's happening to them. they don't need to say i love you because they know that all of these pieces that make up their shared life together say that for them, and they wouldn't know what to do with those words anyway. their "love" is not the same as other people's anyway. they don't need to get married because anniversaries and dates and marriages minimize just how long forever is, and they are already joined together by the understanding they share.

if the two of them got married or started "dating" it would send the wrong message to people who will never understand. neil isn't andrew's ~boyfriend~ he's the man who convinced him that life can interesting enough to stick around for. andrew isn't neil's ~lover~ he's the man who refused to let him run away from the life he always wanted. it's not romantic, it's survival. it's selflessness. it's learning how to care for yourself by caring for someone else and letting them care for you.

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK 👏 and thank you, I feel seen 🫶

happy autism awareness day to all the girls who had “ friends” growing up who were actually bullying them . to the girls who always sat alone in the grass and wondered why nobody wanted to talk . to the girls who spoke to animals like they were listening . to the girls who created a little world in their room . to the girls who always felt ashamed for how deeply they love things and how passionately they enjoyed media . to the girls who covered their ears when they were overwhelmed by everything . to the girls who carrying a special thing around to feel safe . to the girls who never understood what they did wrong to feel so lonely . to the girls who were diagnosed later in life because they weren’t little boys who liked trains. you are so special and beautiful and you’re not worse for it, you love deeply and that is so wonderful please never try to push that down . I LOVE YOU !!!!!

Plus Jem and Tessa treated him like their child and they gave him the love and support that he needed and never really had (especially from a parental figure). Similarly in ghosts of the shadow market, Kit told Jem that he didn’t feel like anybody really loved him and I think he would’ve continued feeling like that if he stayed at the Los Angeles institute, he needed Jem and Tessa to show him through time and effort that he was worthy of love and he needed space, patience and a sense of safety to even allow for any internal healing to begin. And to learn about who he was outside of his trauma and his past.

(1) OMG I AM SO GLAD SOMEONE HAS FINALLY ADDRESSED KIT’S NEGLECT AT THE LA INSTITUTE. If it wasn’t for his pov and his friendship with Ty, I wouldn’t have noticed he was there. People only see him as Ty’s friend and confidant, his ‘shadow’. They entrusted Ty’s well-being to him (Mark saying that Kit is the one Ty wants etc) and even Dru ended up defending Ty’s action whereas she scorned Kit for lying to her (‘maybe it’s better he’s gone’). +

(2) Kit was and remained an outsider and there’s that scene in QOAAD where Ty’s climbing the pyre and Kit starts after him but Diana holds him back and says something like ‘no, not YOU’, which, fair, Julian SHOULD be the one who goes after him, but it was also kind of ridiculous because the rest of the time, it was KIT who took care of Ty? That ‘not you’ (why did she have to word it like that!!) very much underlined Kit’s position as an outsider to the Blackthorn family

(3) and that’s only one of many scenes where he’s relegated to the sidelines. Like, you’ve got this kid whose sole remaining relative is off risking his life in Faerie and not a single adult thought hey, maybe we should make him feel more included/pay actual attention to him? There’s one scene in Lord of Shadows where Julian puts a hand on his shoulder to comfort him (and even that was spoiled by ‘what would jace do if I killed his cousin’ like hmmm

(4) hey, what the hell, you’re talking about a 15 yr old child whose entire life was uprooted! This is not even in line with who your character is supposed to be!) but after that scene/visit to the shadow market, he’s defined by his friendship with the twins. I’m sure if things had been different, Jace wouldn’t have hesitated to take him in and care for him at the NY institute, but Jace was absent for most of LOS!

(5) Both the Blackthorn AND fandom expected entirely too much of Kit and I, for one, am glad that he was presented with the chance to leave the LA institute. I’m sad he and Ty ended their friendship on such a bad note but Kit was headed towards complete dependency on Ty and Ty did not understand how immense a power he had over Kit. I doubt their configuration as it was would have ended in a healthy relationship

(6) (not when one party trails in the other’s wake like a shadow and is defined by him/his wants/needs). Anyway, that got long but I am still frustrated by how QOAAD treated Kit and how the fandom reacted to his decision to leave.

—————————————————————————————

OH MY GOD, Anon, I applaud you. YES, every word you said, YES!

And you know who I’m most angry with? Emma. She was the one he came for help, she was the one who was with him when his father died and everything in his life broke to pieces. She was also the one he saved in the end of QOAAD, and did we see a tiny note of regret? Of concern for him after that five seconds with Jem when it was fucking too late? Jem told her again and again that he was important, if only for that and not for the sake of taking care of an abandoned child - be there for him. But she wasn’t.

Every single one of these characters (which I love, don’t get me wrong) are self absorbed in a way that makes me wanna rip my hair off. The only thing that got close to it was how Simon was treated in TMI (something that pissed me off too), but Simon was older, he didn’t suffer what Kit had, he had an objective and different perspective of life, and unlike him - Simon had Clary. Through everything, she always cared for him and saw him for who he was.

Kit got attention from the twins, which was awesome, but think about everything that just happened to him - HE NEEDS MORE THAN JUST FUCKING FRIENDS, ALRIGHT?! He needs support, he needs someone to see beyond his pretense. Sure, he’s a Herondale through and through, he’s brave and stupid and with an unbelievably open heart.. but he’s a 15 years old kid, and the grownups around him - YES DIANA, I’M TALKING TO YOU, should have seen beyond that “I’m good” facade.

I actually didn’t really expect anything from Julian.. he’s amazing, don’t get me wrong, but he’s a difficult character.. His morals are questionable for a reason, and it doesn’t seem like he’s up for caring about someone else at the moment. Just think about it, Christina was there with them for a while, and he only saw her as important because she was dear to Emma. He’s not someone who loves or opens up easily. I’m also angry about how he didn’t push things with Ty enough when he started feeling again and stuff.. but it’s hard to resent him for that, a night before a war and all.. but everything about that situation was so frustrating. It’s like all of them are walking around with their eyes covered and pretend they don’t notice when they fucking trip on shit every ten seconds.

I’m also glad, really glad, that Kit got out of there. They are wonderful people, but it would have taken them a lot of time to start treating him like part of them, or even see him and his needs. He deserves Jem and Tessa. He deserves the best parents, the best possibilities, the best future he could have.

And when it’s time for him and Ty to reunite - HE WILL BE HIS OWN AMAZING PERSON, not anybody’s shadow anymore.. because he was given that chance - to explore and grow into. They will be able to really know each other and work through their past pain in a way that they never could have had if he stayed..

And that, my friend, will blow our minds (and Ty’s. Cause come one.. it’s Kit 💙)

If you have about two mins please read this:

I just want to go ahead and throw this out there: as a fandom, we all are here because at one point or another we picked up AFTG for the first time and could never put it back down again.

We all love Nora. We all respect her. We all are very excited about many things for a multitude of reasons. As we should be because holy shit did we get some news today!

And yet some of us are already bickering over contradicting opinions. Please listen to me:

If you’re not excited for the two books focusing on Kevin, that’s ok. Say your piece and move on. Or! Discuss it with someone. Don’t just sit and argue. We’re years away and you don’t have to commit to those books in the slightest.

Or if you’re in one ship tag and another ship is tagged there that you don’t like— ok. Just scroll or tap away. It is a little frustrating when it isn’t what you’re looking for but no one is making you read it. Especially if you disagree with it.

We got some fantastic news from Nora barely 12 hours ago and I already see posts bashing the people that still like/want kerejean or the people who still think jerejean will get married in the next book, this and that and etc.

People. It takes significantly less effort to just swipe away than it does to call someone else out on what they believe/want. I’m not trying to add to the negativity with this; I’m saying let us all say what we want to say.

We do not have to agree with each other. No fandom does. I don’t have to agree with you and vice versa— neither of us has to agree with person C playing the banjo in the corner, or with the random cat smoking a pipe on the subway. Do you see what I’m trying to say?

We can disagree. And we no doubt will because the next book is probably going to be released in 2026. We have six and a half months until we roll into the next release year. There’s going to be banter and discussions but the point I’m trying to make is we don’t need to argue.

The entire core focus of All For The Game is what? Found family. It’s in the Foxes. And the Trojans. Even the Ravens if you squint hard enough at their shared trauma.

At the end of the day we’re all still fans of the same thing for one reason or another, plus the angsty trauma Nora has inflicted on us over the years. We are our own little found family. On here, and on TikTok, Twitter, Reddit— etc.

Let’s try to spend the next yearish talking and discussing and brainstorming without telling each other that the other person is wrong, or what they say doesn’t make sense— or worst of all that what they’re saying doesn’t matter.

Not saying not to contradict each other. But do it in a way where we’re all still respected. Sing the Barney “I love you” song. Play the ABC game. Whatever it takes to keep us separate as individuals in how we think and what we hope for, but still pulled together as a community.

We have an incredible one and a long time left with each other. And I love you all.

As someone else with autism, I can concur that change is extremely overwhelming and I have definitely equated dealing with change in my life to being in hell.

ty blackthorn and the resurrection arc

Let’s start by the fact that Ty’s childhood was very complicated. He, like Julian and all his siblings, were only kids when his parents died. Not to ignore the fact that he had to watch Julian kill his own father. Ty’s autistic. He doesn’t perceive life as all we do. Ty was different, and not many people (read this like NO ONE outside his family) wanted to understand him. He didn’t have friends (before Kit but that’s something I won't talk about because I don’t want to cry) because no one wanted to be his friend. That had an impact on him and made him rely more on Livia, his twin. They were always together, they knew each other better than anyone else. 

I would dare to say that Livia was the most important person in Ty's life. And sometimes I wonder how people can not comprehend the reasons why he kept going on with the resurrection spell. How many people are ready to judge him only because he is different and they don’t even mind trying to understand how complex his character is.

Autism plays a big role in a person's life. I’m not autistic, I won't pretend that I understand everything perfectly only because I try to teach myself about it. But I'll try to develop my perception about it, and, please, don’t hesitate in correcting me if there’s something that I’ve misunderstood. Based on some experiences I’ve read about, I understand that our minds work differently. For autistics, change feels different. They don’t like change. And their way of expressing emotions and thoughts can vary to non autistic people. Us, neurotypical folk, we really have not a real understanding of how their minds are. How they think, how they feel. We can try to understand and empathise but it's not the same. So, there’s more of Ty Blackthorn than we know and we understand. 

With the resurrection arc. That’s something very complex that many have misunderstood or overlooked only because we are talking about Ty. It’s not the first time we had a resurrection. We had Jace’s and, after Livvy’s, we had Jesse’s. It’s still not logical in my mind how people reacted so badly to Tys resurrection arc when they praised Lucys and Clary’s. Don’t get me wrong. I know the details and context behind each one of them. Each one of them had consequences and the fact that these people decided to do them doesn’t mean it’s correct. What I don’t understand is why people were so fast to crucify Ty when they were very open minded about Clary and Lucy. 

However, I didn’t bring on Clary only to talk about peoples opinion. I brought her because her resurrection arc had an impact on Tys. After the conversation with Magnus, it was evident to me that in Tys mind it was FINE to resurrect people because that was something that had happened before and had no consequences (in front of The Clave). Ty knew that Clary resurrected Jace, and perhaps he ignored deliberately that it was a different situation or saw no difference. The thing is that I don’t think that someone took the time to explain to the younger shadowhunters that resurrection spells were not right. That there were consequences linked to them. You might think that that is something obvious, but, as I mentioned before, we don’t perceive the world in the same way (that’ll be boring anyway) and maybe there’s some kids that didn’t fully understand what happened. Let’s not forget that even Clary and Jace were very young when this happened. If people dying young is something normal, why wouldn't it be, for some of them, resurrecting people seen as something normal as well? 

Ty didn’t see the consequences. He only saw the opportunity to bring back the person that always had been to his side. It is true, as Kit said, that Ty had his family and him. But losing someone is never easy. It was not the first time that Ty had lost a relative but I think this time was more hurtful for him. And I understand with those who get mad about Livia because she did deserve rest. Don’t do all of them deserve it? But something that we some understand is that losing someone really close is not easy. Ty needed his family to be more aware of him after Livia passed away. But the one who was with him was Kit, who, afraid of losing Ty, couldn’t face Ty and talk with the truth before everything escalated so quickly. Lets not forget that they were 15 as well and that barely had adults around to watch their actions. And I can’t blame Julian either because he’s always been so careful of his family and has sacrificed his whole life for them. He also had his own problems and the spell that Magnus did on him to not to have his feelings for Emma didn’t help. Honestly, I think that this situation (as many others) was a product of all the older shadowhunters being neglected. 

This analysis is not to say that I think that Ty’s actions were correct. Because actually I don’t, but I understand the reasons behind them and I empathise with him. Ty, like many shadowhunters, lost more than is acceptable for a person. 

There’s only so many times someone can get burned before they just wanna give up. After a while it’s easier to just stop feeling or try to stop feeling (by suppressing) then to once again open yourself up to people only to be destroyed all over again

HERE'S MY HOT TAKE - Andrew Joseph Minyard does in fact care!

People who say Andrew honestly doesn't care about being included or wanted or appreciated or whatever in my opinion are misunderstanding Andrew.

What "doesn't care" really means for Andrew and people who adopt the same defense mechanism, is that he's actively choosing to take all his cares and wants and shoving them in a box labeled "Warning: Hazardous Emotions - Do Not Engage" and ignoring them with masterful levels of denial and obfuscation. But that doesn't mean the feelings go away. It just means he's suppressing them. Repressing them, even.

And yeah, even if he does start to get accepted and wanted and included by the other Foxes of whomever else (especially for being good at Exy), that doesn't mean Andrew will open the fucking box. He's no fool, he knows what happens when the rug gets pulled out from under you. How devastating that is. How earth shattering. Sure, they include him now. But that shits conditional, and he's never been good fitting into those.

Andrew does care, you guys. Just very very very deep down, and he's still trying to dig that shit deeper (on the off chance there's an endless chasm in there some where for those wantings to shrivel up and die. Alas, emotions don't work that way, but it wont stop him from trying)

It's not genuine lack of caring. It is the active repression of care. Not the same, your honor.

And sure, that level of commitment to Not Wanting and thus Not Caring does translate to steadfast dismissal and rejection of inclusion and whatnot, but that shit stems from not being willing to take a chance. Fool me once, twice, thrice - Never Again. Reject you first and you can't reject me later, checkmate bitches.

Andrew opened that box for Neil, but not wholly intentionally. Word of God (Nora) says that shit was an accident, and he resigned himself to the open box of his Feelings after Baltimore. Word of God also says if Neil had died then That Was It. Tea candle in a dark room blown out, total darkness type shit.

Andrew does care, he just tries really fucking hard not to think about it, and even harder not to act on it, in every case except one.

But the best part? He still fucking fails. Aaron, Nicky, Kevin, Renee, Bee, Wymack? Fuck, even Sir Fat Cat McCatterson and King Fluffkins. Very hard to keep the Box Closed, turns out. Shit keeps leaking. People keep sticking their goddamn fingers in. Turns out he can't fucking read his own signs. Fuck.

Andrew does care. He just does so silently, and with great reluctance, lots of teeth pulling, and deeply rooted denial.

But it's okay. He has a therapist.

I’ve been in burn out since the beginning of march, but it doesn’t matter because I have to finish the semester, so I’m crashing out in small increments 🫠🫠🫠

I still get excited when my friends refer to me as their friend

"My friend said" "this is my friend" "they're my friend"

Im freaking out inside every time

This makes my heart happy

andrews favorite things ((whether or not he wants to admit it))

ice cream

hot cocoa at bee's office

his car

his knives

the friend he stole them from

speaking of, his weekly sparring sessions with renee

the satisfaction of thwarting someones shot on his goal and hearing the crowd go wild

treks to eden's twilight with his family/team after a win

roadtrips with no set destination, just him and neil and the open road

rooftop kisses

the way neil carefully maps out his body bit by bit, only as andrew allows it

unexpectedly, his late-night practices with kevin and neil

neil, who said he never wants this to end

Yes. That’s all.

It's so satisfying to know that Riko, out of all the people that were supposed to be in the perfect court, was the worst player overall (if the others played at full potential).

Like, we know for a fact he was worse than Kevin, that's explicit.

Then we have Neil, who is like... both an amazing striker AND backliner just by having trained for it for the grand total of like...2 years. He knows both roles and plays them top of the line. He is also always the fastest player on the court, and has enough endurance to play full games... he is so well rounded it's scary.

Andrew is just...out of the league when it comes to ability. He is out of any chart canonically. He just never tries -but when he does? To be able to choose how many shots he wants to let go through, to again play full games and letting only what 16 shots in out of HUNDREDS against the ravens?? He is overpowered, nora gave him depression because if he had the passion to play frfr he'd be court by like 19. No college needed.

Jean is able to be one of the best backliners while playing with broken fingers, broken/bruised ribs, being 2 years younger than everyone else, sleep deprived, tortured...the list goes on. He is still out there blowing everyone out of left field. He is big and coordinated, steady on his feet. And unmovable object. In saner and safer conditions he'll shine so hard the fans will need sunglasses. He's harder to point down as objectively better than Riko but like,, you see my point. Even if they were to be equal players he'd still win in the physique department, making him overall better.

Just. I love this.