Rudimentary Fangs Of Fortune Romantic/sexual Relationship Chart Based On The First Seven Episodes.

done with the "came back wrong" trope. what about came back American

a Kat 🐈 rambles post

I apparently have a lot to say about Top Form, but in respect for the limited time I have, I'm here to say:

Jin's redemption is in giving Akin what he needed - even if it wasn't what I, as the audience, wanted.

Discussion of Top Form episode 6 and 7 under the cut. TW for discussion of SA.

I have a whole unwritten post in my head about The Nightmare Jin / Akin Heart Rending Fest at the end of episode 6, and how Jin, who has been a magical unicorn of giving Akin what he needs all along, failed Akin.

I have A LOT of feelings. I wanted groveling. I wanted to see Jin feeling all the shock and horror of understanding what he did. Of how he stomped on Akin in his moment of greatest vulnerability, of how broken and wounded Akin was in the garage, and how Jin - the one person Akin NEEDED to love him and hold him and comfort him - shattered what was left of Akin. I wanted epic level groveling and amends making. I wanted Jin to metaphorically rip his own heart out of his chest and lay it at Akin's feet. After the opening of episode 7 I wanted blood to run in the streets for that man. I was ready to go vengeance demon for Akin.

But what I wanted, is the exact opposite of what Akin needed.

Jin's biggest failure in the series was how he got so caught up in his own feelings in episode 6, that he couldn't SEE Akin and therefor wasn't able to give Akin what he needed. In episode 7, he could have repeated that mistake. I do think Jin was remorseful. I think he -WOULD- have groveled, and would have spent the rest of his life trying to make it up to Akin. I think he would have delivered Johnny's (metaphorical) head on a platter. I think he would have burned down the theater and his career and raged in defense of Akin. That man has shown us, and Akin, repeatedly that he is in it for the long haul.

There is a great irony in that as much as I wanted a bigger and better apology, I think that Jin apologizing in that way would have been another way to fail Akin. Because the big apology would have been about Jin's feelings, about making himself feel better. But I think his true was redemption is that he was able to step out of his own feelings, and once again see Akin and what Akin needed.

Jin apologized, but Akin didn't want it and couldn't tolerate it. Akin didn't need Johnny's head. Akin didn't need Jin to set the world on fire in anger and vengeance. Akin didn't need an apology. It causes me great pain that despite all MY anger and rage, that Akin wasn't angry. Akin didn't blame Jin. Akin wasn't mad. Akin was heartbroken. Akin blamed himself. Akin was full of shame.

Jin gave Akin everything he needed. Jin gave Akin his body back- by giving him the knowledge that he had not been violated in the way he feared most.* Jin gave Akin his innocence back- by giving him the knowledge that he hadn't done anything wrong. Jin gave Akin his heart back - by giving him the knowledge that he was loved and cherished.

So. If I try to talk abt everything this show made me feel at once it would be a whole book. Hence: we’re breaking it down. First stop: Hu-min and Hyeontak.

I’m a big fan of the webtoon and I’m gonna do a little compare/contrast at the end but first I wanna focus on solely material from the show. Slight background for those who don’t know though, Go Hyeontak (Alex/GoGo) and Park Humin (Ben/Big Ben) are THE ultimate BROTP in the webtoon so I did come into this rly pulling for the show to keep that element of their relationship, and I think for the most pert they delivered.

The scene that sets the tone: Their mutual trust.

First instance that made me go “hell yes this is gonna be good” is during Ep. 2 (32:12 ish) where Gotak and Juntae have been fighting and Baku enters. Gotak is curled up in a defensive fetal position on the ground but the *second* he hears Baku’s voice echo through the tunnel he relaxes. Full on slumps down, drops his arms, and just lays there, it almost looks instinctive. He knows as long as Humin is around he’s safe. It’s such a small thing and so far I haven’t seen any reactors point it out which is understandable. But the fact that this is the first scene that they’re in together, essentially their first interaction, albeit slightly indirect, and the camera is purposefully not on the faces of the thugs surrounding Gotak (although we do hear them voice their fear) but on Hyeontak’s absolute relief in Baku’s presence I think not only sets the tone for their relationship (in fact I believe this is arguably the most important scene btw them) but also very demonstrative of how they want us to view Humin’s character. [I have to clue how to do GIFs but I need someone to do this scene PLS TT]

Yes he’s coming in guns blazing, but our immediate focus isn’t supposed to be the terror of his adversaries, but instead the release from his friend. It immediately sets him up as someone who protects those close to him. He isn’t violent for the sake of violence, he has a purpose, and that is preserving the things precious to him. In this case, his platonic male-wife Gotak. This is making me realize I’m gonna do individual character analysis for everybody lol.

But while Baku is concerned for Gotak, he obviously trusts him enough to have handled himself, even though he’s “weaker” than Humin which I really appreciate.

So the second tenant in their relationship: They way they keep each other in check.

At the beginning of ep. 3 we see Hyeontak begin to apologize to Sieun without any prompting, but it’s clearly a bit hesitant and he seems unwilling to fully admit he was in the wrong/crossed the line (haha I’m so funny). Which is when Baku steps in and “forces” him into a bow and begins to “help” Gotak apologize to Sieun while also essentially trying to pull Gotak out of potential hot water by saying ‘ah yk he’s a bit dumb so pls forgive him’. Later after they’re called into the office together we see Baku again prompting an awkward Gotak to give a much more genuine apology to Sieun. The whole interaction very much implied to me that Baku and Gotak had a whole convo abt how he was going to apologize and what he would say which I love. Mom friend Baku said ‘apologize to this nice young man’. They even simultaneously provoke but also regulate one another in the principles office.

While Baku seems to help Hyeontak with his quick temper, Gotak seems to help him reign in his….exuberant social skills. We see this several times: most notably with Sieun. first when Gotak interrupts Baku messing w/ Sieun’s hair, pulling him away and saying “know when to stop” (ep. 3 10:34), and the second in ep. 5 @ 13:40 when Baku slides into Sieun while he’s studying. Gotak comes in behind and actually kicks Baku (who retaliates ofc) to get him off Sieun a bit and then says “You’re bothering Sieun again, you punk”. The fact that it’s clearly a consistent pattern for Gotak to help regulate Baku (someone who clearly gets excited and while being emotionally intelligent, either willfully ignores or misses some social cues) is extremely endearing to me.

In a slightly more serious tone, later in ep. 5 (31:56) during a conversation with Sieun, Hyeontak says that this isn’t the first time Humin has gotten into a fight and “when he gets back, I’ll knock some sense into him”. Of course it’s obvious Gotak could never beat Humin in a true fight yet Gotak is absolutely assured that he’ll be able to get Baku to listen, implying to me that they’ve done this dance before, and Baku truly does hear what Gotak has to say.Hence even small phrases like this really emphasize how much Baku respects and appreciates Gotak. The king of Eunjang High, this incredibly powerful kid, truly listens to his friend.

The most powerful example of this is probably ep 7 starting abt 4 min in, where Baku is choking a Union member who was involved in severely beating Gotak and Juntae. Gotak immediately rushes over and begins pulling on Humin’s arm, yelling at him to stop and that he’s done enough. Unfortunately, Baku is clearly out of it and barely even seems to register Gotak’s presence. This scene may also be the first time we see Hyeontak refer to him as “Humin” rather than Baku. Eventually Baku is snapped out of it by Juntae coming over with news about Sieun, so while Gotak isn’t the one to ultimately get through to Baku, I think the scene is another important sign of their devotion to one another. Baku, when he does notice Hyeontak is clearly angry that he’s trying to stop him, even yelling “let go of me asshole”.

In many shows the characters next move would be to bodily throw their friend away. Yet even in the midst of this rage/disassociation, Baku doesn’t lay a hand on Gotak, proving that Gotak’s blind trust in getting all up in the business of his raging friend was warranted. There is no universe where Baku forgets himself and lays a serious hand on Hyeontak.

The idea of Baku’s hands on Hyeontak brings me to point three: The clinginess

There are way too many example scenes for me to go through and time-stamp all of them, ya’ll will have to look yourselves. But in 9/10 scenes that these two are together, Baku is touching Gotak in some way. Most commonly it’s an arm around the shoulder (see gif above lol). But they’re also shown to be constantly roughhousing, and at one point (ok I am time-stamping this bc it’s so specific: ep. 5 12:50 ish) Gotak almost seems to be playing with Baku’s hand that’s hanging over his shoulder. Now Baku is clearly an affectionate person, he spends a significant amount of time hanging off of Juntae and Sieun as well (don’t even get me started on him gently caressing Juntae’s face during ep 7) it does seem particularly pronounced with Gotak.

In fact, during my watch through notes (it was serious for me y’all) I legit wrote: “The way Humin has an arm around Hyeontak at all times, its rly serious for this man. Must tough beside or die”. And that was only by ep. 3 lol. IDK as someone who is also a very touchy person, specifically w/ my bff, this rly resonated with me. The actors just did such a great job making it feel so natural. Ofc Baku has his arm around Gotak, this is how they always are. Gotak never even stumbles or resists when Baku reaches out for him, he just molds right into him and I love it sm

*Clicks to Powerpoint slide number four*: The way they know everything abt e/o

Alright I admit, this one is a bit of a filler section, but tbh I just rly wanted to talk abt the scene where Gotak recognizes Baku’s underwear (ep 6 23:55) bc what-

Like I ADORE my bestie. We’re essentially married. We have a tally going of people who’ve asked it we’re gay for e/o. And yet. AND YET! I would not recognize her underwear?

Which leaves us with two options: either Gotak is just routinely seeing his bros underwear (and this also means Baku is unironically wearing tiger briefs)? I mean tbf idk how guys do friendship this could be par for the course.

or he bought Humin the underwear as a gag gift, and then Baku proceeds to legit wear them. Both options are absolutely hilarious and I love any and all implications of this scene.

I don’t even wanna know why the hell Baku has his underwear just hanging on the wall

But on a slightly more serious note, earlier in the same episode at around 8:52, Gotak tells the other two boys that Baku used to stay at his house whenever his dad got drunk. Couple that with how completely unsurprised Hyeontak is with his father’s behavior the entire scene, and it becomes obvious that Gotak knows all about Humin’s struggles with his dad. In fact, at another point (I’m not looking for this time-stamp sry) Gotak reveals that he knows Humin and Baekjin were childhood friends, so Baku clearly has no reservations telling Gotak about all the painful parts of his past.

Of course, throughout the plot of the show Baku does hide things from Gotak and even outright lies about where he’s going on a few occasions, but the fact that Hyeontak seems only slightly suspicious and then accepts his answers really seems to affirm the idea that they’re generally completely transparent with one another or maybe im reading too much into this

Yeah no I just love that they seem to know everything about each other, and that their trust goes beyond physical protection, but extends to faith that the other will protect their emotional wounds as well.

Speaking of protectiveness, our fifth discussion point: The way they’d kill for one another

Like they are INSANE about each other. Gotak consistently gets pissed when people imply that he’s Humin’s lackey. In the first confrontation we see Gotak have with Choi Hyoman, it can be easily interpreted as a hot headed kid pissed he’s getting called someone else’s henchman. But as we watch the show and get more and more context about them, I really don’t think that’s the reason he’s so upset. If Gotak is Baku’s lackey, than that means that Baku’s is the same as the Union people he’s fighting so hard against. I truly think that Gotak isn’t offended for himself (or at least not solely, Im sure that does sting the pride a bit), but more so upset about the implications for Baku’s honor. The idea that he would have or even need lackeys is unacceptable to Hyeontak, and he makes sure to set everyone straight.

While of course Hyeontak is protective of Humin and routinely gets into fights on his behalf, the real guard dog in this relationship is clearly Baku. That man does not mess around when it comes to Gotak, and everyone knows it. In fact, Baku’s absolute devotion to Gotak makes him a target for people trying to get at Baku. Unfortunately many of them fail to realize they’ve essentially signed their own death certificate.

In ep 4 during the confrontation btw Seongjae (?) and Gotak we learn (and see briefly in flashback 14:30) that Hyeontak has been greviously injured by him before, more on my opinion of this plot point in a Gotak centric post and at the beginning of ep 5, Baku elaborates on this in conversation with Sieun, explaining that Gotak used to be a taekwondo athlete, but had to quit after his knee was seriously injured “Because of hanging out with me” Baku says, which could mean it was either a targeted attack on Gotak to upset Humin, or simply a casualty of getting in a fight to help his bestie out. Either way, it’s clear that Baku felt, and still feels (by looked like he was abt to cry thinking abt it), responsible for Hyeontak’s injury.

I like to think the reason he showed up with such perfect timing in the underpass during ep. 2 is because he made Gotak download Life360 or some equivalent tracker

The most obvious instance of Baku’s mile wide protective streak for Hyeontak is when Baekjin sends guys to beat him up explicitly to get a reaction out of Humin. And what a reaction it was. I mean look at this:

That is the face of a man who is not messing around with the implication that u hurt his bestie/husband/soulmate etc. Baekjin was abt to become one with the lamp. He doesn’t even have confirmation that anything is wrong atp. All it took was a mere SUGGESTION that someone might have gone after Gotak and *boom*. True cinema right there.

I mean the look on his face in ep. 7 @ 3:50 when he sees Hyeontak (and Juntae) horribly beaten on the ground? A delicious mix of horror, disbelief, and absolute rage. Seriously, big props to the actor for his nuanced facial expressions the whole show. His frustration with the union and Baekjin finally exploding when he learns Hyeontak and Juntae are in danger (ep. 6 28:48 ish)? Like the fact that Hyeontak getting hurt is essentially he proverbial straw that broke his back? Scrumptious. And then ofc I’ve already mentioned how he goes absolutely apeshit on the guys who beat up his babies. I mean he literally takes a crowbar to the back of the head (at speed?!) and then immediately proceeds to punch through a motorcycle helmet. Hulk who? Baku doesn’t play when it comes to avenging his people (and ofc specifically Gotak).

Ofc I have to mention ep. 8 at minute 4:28 when Baku scolds Gotak for jumping rope bc “You’ve got bad knees already man” and then looks away with a face full of resigned guilt and regret. And Hyeontak just glances at him and sighs, with an expression that just so clearly says ‘I’ve told you before it wasn’t your fault, how long till you believe me idiot, I could never blame you for anything, you sweet stupid man stop worrying about me’. maybe that’s a bit much to interpret from his face but I believe in my powers of perception ok

Then we have later on in ep 8 during the big fight at 29:19, where Hyeontak can barely walk, and yet he’s going to challenge Baekjin, because Baku is still vulnerable on the ground, and like hell is he going to let the guy who’s been tormenting *his* Baku win.

Like this devotion just- I can’t handle it they make me wanna scream

We’ll finish of with a lighter idea for our final section: The fact that they fight like an old married couple

I mean seriously. In their first on screen exchange, Gotak asks Baku if he has hot sauce in his hair (ngl I though he pulled the red of nicely TT) and proceeds to crack himself up although that may have been the concussion

If they’re not calling each other names, you know something is wrong. The absolute epitome of “Bastard (affectionate)”. It’s even funnier because while they do occasionally use a playful insult with Juntae or Sieun, it’s much rarer. Like it really is just their version of pet names and I love that for them. I particularly love the scenes at ep 3 starting at minute 7 with the slap fight, the “all grown up? I’ve always been taller” from Gotak (which I find especially funny bc its not like he towers over Baku or anything) the unrelenting headlock from Baku that turns into what’s almost a protective hold when he spots Sieun and Juntae. Now ofc he’s exaggerating and acting over the top as he does, but at this point all he knows about them is the rumors about Sieun, and the fact that he was in a fight with Hyeontak and didn’t seem particularly receptive to the attempted apology. So I’m sure there was just a slight bit of apprehension, and although “are we under attack” sounds like a joke, he was most likely serious in the intention behind it. Idk I just find it sweet that the minute it stopped being a safe little bubble of ‘Baku and Gotak’ and there was a potential outside threat, he gets in this (overdramatic) defensive position *around* Gotak.

The constant jabs at e/o’s intelligence are perfection, and I, like everyone else (including Sieun! the baby smile hdjskfdhg) adore the scene in ep 3 around 16:20 when they’re just getting into it over Baku’s attempt to pick up girls lol

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That’s all I have for an analysis solely using the show, now I’m gonna do a brief compare/contrast with the webtoon bc I’m a huge fan of it. I 100% recommend it to everyone who enjoyed the show. There are some big differences, so it’s not at all like you’re going through the same plot twice, and the friendships are genuinely some of my favorite in all media. And I mean books, movies, tv shows etc. This webtoon manages to do relationships so so well.

Since I’m recommending it and ik a lot of ppl who watched the show haven’t read it yet, I’m not going to be too in depth or spoilery here, just covering things you would already expect to happen after having watched the show, and some panels to emphasize my points.

[reminder that the Eng. translation changed some names, so Baku = Ben and Gotak = Alex]

WEBTOON Analysis:

So in the webtoon Gotak (who gets called GoGo by Baku and the others, one thing I truly mourn lol) and Baku are the ULTIMATE duo. There a a million fantastic friendships in the comic, but they consistently stand out. The show did keep a lot of that feeling, but if you go read the webtoon, expect it to be dialed up to 11. True husbands honestly

They’re also childhood friends, a plot point given to Baekjin and Baku in the show still don’t know how I feel abt that, and are essentially inseparable. The whole “teacher asks one where the other is” gig, except it even extends to their friends lol. One simply does not appear without the other

I mentioned earlier when talking abt the show that these two tend to keep each other in check, both physically and in terms of social blunders. This is also a trait present in the webtoon, with Gotak often apologizing for or managing Baku’s extreme dumbass energy, and Baku in turn curbs Gotak’s intense “fight first ask questions never” tendencies.

Several times while watching the show I thought to myself, “Biblically accurate Baku and GoGo”, specifically in relation to the entire premise of Gotak being Baku’s trigger. In the webtoon, “use Hyeontak to get to Baku” is a strategy employed by the Union several times, and Baku’s reaction is just as good as in the show. In fact I even have it written down in my watch notes: “Biblically accurate Gotak getting beat into a pulp”. Like the poor guy has a giant red target hanging over his head. Just like in the show however, he doesn’t care as long as he gets to stay by Baku and support him.

Baku’s reaction to seeing Gotak injured:

In more serious situations Gotak is Baku’s anchor in a similar way to what’s shown in ep. 7, albeit a bit more successfully lol. In fact, at one point another character narrating literally calls Gotak “Baku’s brakes”. He truly is the only one that can get through to Baku when the rage consumes him, especially if the reason Baku is turning someone into dust is because they went after Gotak.

Gotak is also shown to be a bit more actively supportive in the webtoon. In the show it’s Sieun that really leads the charge to bring Baku back, which I don’t mind in the context of the show, but webtoon!Gotak would never have let him walk away in the first place. The stress and pressure put upon Baku as a result of being the only one standing between the Union and Eunjang is a big focus in the webtoon, and smth Gotak takes seriously.

like in the show, GoGo goes after anyone talking about Baku behind his back, whether that be insults, skepticism about his fighting prowess, or insinuations that Gotak is his “minion”. He’s so serious about being the best possible support for Baku that he takes up boxing in an attempt to get stronger (which is where I assume they pulled the taekwondo background from for the show. I don’t mind at all that they did that, there wasn’t enough time for him to have a training arc in the middle lol).

The best part about them though is that they’re still the same old goofy, antagonistic besties/married couple they are in the show. The writers really did a great job keeping that levity and hope that characterizes the webtoon

There is one aspect of their relationship: Gotak’s knee injury, that is VASTLY different from the webtoon, but I want to keep this post relatively webtoon spoiler free, and also I’ve been working on this for abt 3 and 1/2 hours now….so that’ll be another post

SWMD summarized

Part 1

So... I may or may not be writing a fic...

In the spirit of avoiding my grading papers (the horrors of graduate school), I've begun to toy around with a Fangs of Fortune fic/plot bunny that may or may not come to fruition...So, here is a very very brief snippet from the brain worm that has invaded my thoughts:

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“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”

– Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

Every twitch of his-the wings sends an arc of pain, present but not real, racing up his spine. Fingers desperately strain against the urge to tear them off, to rip the unsightly appendages from their new, still healing joints, where pale skin met sinew and feathers. They were heavy, an unholy weight that unbalanced him, body and soul. He hated it, this nagging, roiling violation, tainting the very core of who Zhou Yichen was- who he would never again be. 

Yichen hadn’t left his chambers for some immeasurable period of time, for the sake of contemplation, or so he very much attempted to convince himself. Really, in some darkened recess of his mind, he knew, hidden, but not wholly, was the aching shame, a sensation that burrowed its way into his very bones, gnawing and taunting at every turn. Each footstep in the corridor, much louder than ever before, every hushed whisper setting his teeth on edge.

Teeth he pointedly didn’t acknowledge had sharpened into fangs. 

—

On his third day of self-ascribed solitude, Zhao Yuanzhou finally makes himself known. 

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Anyway, would love to hear anyone's thoughts!

Captain Chris’ Manipulation of Kant Pt. 1

how the conversations with capt chris and kant influence the approaches that kant takes to play out his mission and some intricacies on how capt. chris makes kant think he has no choice. using references to chadok’s grooming of akk

firstly gonna start by explaining how we got here.

you may ask if kant didn’t want to do this why meet with the captain in the first place?

the first time we get introduced to capt. is at the bowling alley when kant ignores his call which is later explained by how kant was already promised freedom from that work so he was avoiding it at all costs.

next time he calls kant is with style and immediately we can see that he doesn’t want to pick up but leading into this the convo of bison was brought up making style tease that it was him. when kant denies, then style ultimately gets curious and questions then who is it?

and now kant feels pressure that he has to pick it up bc then it would be a bigger conversation that kant isn’t willing to have

next we go to their first meeting

kant immediately brings up the fact that he was promised that the last mission was the last and he was free

also goes back to his talk with style before. style doesn’t question it but from the previous avoidance it’s clear that style doesn’t know abt kant’s involvement with the police)

capt.’s response is to agree with him. yes i did do what i said.

he then introduces another job which kant tries to decline and his response is this. he automatically contradicts himself backtracking and using big words to basically say the same thing.

which kant from his convo before already thought was done. he thought he was totally clean and capt here is basically using his knowledge abt the system against kant.

after kant still showed reluctance, capt. realized that this wasn’t enough anymore and that he would have to use dirty tricks to get kant to agree to it this time

he goes on to threaten to bring back up the crimes that he just said he dropped from his previous missions.

kant picks up on this and realizes that he is stuck with no other option but to help him. which capt. give a smile bc his tactics worked

fuck him btw hate his smug face

he goes on to give kant the mission which kant then realizes that it’s bison and probably not thinking gives info abt his prior sexual history with him.

hears that and gives him this look. a look that says

“you already have something against him. use it”

and here’s where similarities between capt. and teacher chadok comes in. capt. uses this look here as a way to indirectly signal to kant what to do this is equivalent to chadok’s hand on akk’s shoulder.

these are puppeteering tactics that both of them use to get their pawns to do their dirty work. chadok knew that akk was the curse and even praised him for it while touching his shoulder like he did before to encourage him to “take care” of things.

this is when akk starts to realize that he was being manipulated the entire time and it wasn’t just his own decisions

i think this is the same way that capt. is trying to use kant. he’s not giving him a specific course of action but hinting at the ways that would be best.

capt. does the same thing

(continue to part 2 in reposts)

It takes Kant less than five seconds, between a groggy Bison pushing him back down onto the bed and his skull nearly smacking against the headboard, for him to realize that he’s well and truly fucked. In a horrifying instant, all of his bravado, what little there was, is gone, leaving nothing behind but the hollow cavern in his chest where terror can take root. --- Or, a different take on the Kant/Bison scene from the end of episode three, sans the drugging, featuring: introspection, more angst than you can imagine, a sprinkle of trauma and (mostly) responsible, caring Bison.

---

A fic for this lovely fandom! Please, come indulge my traumatized Kant brain worms :)

ZYZ + ZYC (49. …out of necessity)

(asexual-ZYC attempts to make an advance on ZYC, out of what he feels is necessity, hurt/comfort ensues ♥️)

I cannot tell you how much joy this prompt gave me, thank you so much! It took a while to get this story down the way I wanted to, I hope you enjoy 🖤🩶🤍💜

Zhuo Yichen isn't blind. He has long since seen the eyes Zhao Yuanzhou makes at him when he thinks Yichen isn't watching, or even when he is. He has heard the flirtations (the same as directed an Wen Xiao), has heard Yinglong say zhiji, he has noticed the others giving them space to be alone, creating chances for him to confess. 

It's not that he doesn't like Zhao Yuanzhou. Most of the time the demon is sharper, funnier, more interesting, more true to his own nature than anyone Zhuo Yichen has ever seen. He wants to spend time with the demon, he wants to be the one sitting next to him, wants to feel as comfortable around the other as his friends seem to be– as Wen Xiao seems to be, despite the demon's endless stream of flirty comments.

Except…

Love is a confusing thing, to Zhuo Yichen. He loves (present tense, always present tense) his brother, his father, loves his friends. Only that doesn't seem to be the kind of love that makes people do ridiculous things. The kind of love that makes young people foolish and old people feel young, the kind of love that inspires so much art and poetry and song– This kind of love is not something Zhuo Yichen feels. Well, that or he is the most sensible person the world has ever seen.

Regardless, he likes Zhao Yuanzhou. In a way that feels different to the way he cares about his family and friends, he really likes that annoying demon. And the demon seems interested in him. So according to all the great stories, the songs, the poems (he has done his research, thank you very much), if two people like each other then they kiss. And that's how you're sure that it is love, and not just like.

And that's how he ended up here, waiting for everyone else to retire after their dinner on the veranda, hoping Zhao Yuanzhou doesn't go to bed before the others do. It is late, and they've already collectively bullied Bai Jiu into going to bed, with placations and lies that they too are about to sleep. Pei-daren may even have been telling the truth, for she retired soon after. Ying Lei is still talking, going on about this divine feast he was invited to some decades ago and about how he wants to recreate a specific dish. Wen Xiao knows him better than anyone, and winked at him when she left, claiming she had some more studying to do.

Zhao Yuanzhou has been eyeing him all evening, and Zhuo Yichen has never before had cause to wonder if this is what a piece of fruit on a market stall might feel like. He's not sure he likes the feeling of waiting to be picked, of being judged, or perhaps of being assumed to be something delicious– anyway. 

Ying Lei yawns halfway through his meandering description of herbs he'd need to grow, and stands from the table. "I'm heading to bed as well, you two night owls behave yourself!"

"What do you-"

"We always do," Zhao Yuanzhou answers over Zhuo Yichen. The mountain god snorts and shakes his head as if they were children and not an ancient demon and a human more responsible than their little runaway god himself.

With Ying Lei gone this would be the perfect time to make his move. The only thing he needs to do is to turn to Da Yao and… kiss. Just kiss him. Somehow the songs and the stories failed to mention how hard that next step would be. Zhuo Yichen stares at his tea cup, and finds himself wishing for something stronger. The tea stares back at him, growing cold in accusation of his inaction. The silence loudly proclaims his failure to act, the night sky moving inexorably on to morning.

"Zhuo-daren?" Zhao Yuanzhou's questions startles him, and he turns to the demon. "You've been preoccupied all evening, am I really so very distracting?" He knows the smirk the demon will be wearing before he even turns to look at him. When he does it is hard to look away from those lips.

"No," the lie is painfully obvious to Zhuo Yichen, and of course the demon notices too. For the first time Zhuo Yichen can say he is grateful for the fact that Zhao Yuanzhou is such a flirt.

"Did you know demons can sense lies, Xiao Zhuo-daren? Why don't you tell me what's really on your mind-"

"-Can I kiss you?" The words are out of his mouth before he knows it, and he cringes at how silly, how earnest, how innocent he sounds. His cheeks are burning, and he'd give anything to be elsewhere right now. Perhaps the earth can open up to swallow him, perhaps enemies can beset the capital, hordes of demons attack the Bureau, absolutely anything… Anything would be better than sitting under the stars by the light of a few candles as Zhao Yuanzhou stares at him.

Surprise is the first emotion that flashes across Da Yao's face, but amusement follows it swiftly enough. Close behind it is a hunger Zhuo Yichen doesn't have a name for. Is that what love is, or even lust? A hunger? It seems strange, but Yichen doesn't have the time to think about that now. The silence stretches too long, and Zhuo Yichen is about to start making excuses, blame the food, the time of night, even an imaginary fever or poison.

Then the demon is moving, swift as a blade, and Zhuo Yichen almost tries to block and evade until he realizes: he asked for this. Zhao Yuanzhou lunges for him like he is attacking, but grabs him as soft as one would hold a flower, one hand snaking around his waist and the other around his neck. His lips meet Yichen's in a soft greeting, asking without words to touch him and yet being so much more eloquent about it. It's… strange. People do this for fun?

The lips against his own are warm, and while not unpleasant it's a little weird. People use their mouths for eating, and talking, and breathing– and then they also want to touch their mouths together? For extended periods of time? It isn't bad, per se, and Yichen is no poet or artist, but this does not seem like something that inspires such great art.

"Xiao Zhuo?" Oh gods. He's been thinking too much, and Zhao Yuanzhou has noticed while kissing him that he… doesn't care for kissing, apparently. "What's wrong?"

How does one explain to the person you just asked to kiss you that no, thank you for the scientific experiment, I'm not actually interested in doing that. In hindsight Zhuo Yichen realizes how awful his question was. He got the demon's hopes up over nothing, only to disappoint him. Li Lun's words about humanity's cruelty echo in his mind. Zhao Yuanzhou's eyes are searching his face, increasingly concerned with his lack of answer. He is still holding Zhuo Yichen ever so gently, their faces still close enough to feel the demon's breath ghost across his skin.

Zhuo Yichen shrinks back, breaking that gentle hold, trying to hide himself from those kind, concerned eyes. "I'm sorry."

Da Yao reaches for him, this time slowly instead of knife-fast, and lays a careful hand on his arm. The weight of it settles with the weight of a thousand expectations and Zhuo Yichen stares at it like it is something fearful. Whatever Zhao Yuanzhou reads in his gaze makes him retract his hand quick as lightning.

"I'm sorry," Zhuo Yichen repeats. He might be apologizing for either of his actions, or both, or for even waking up and thinking this was a good idea. He's honestly not sure which one it is. Perhaps running away like Ying Lei did is not such a ridiculous action after all. Especially because the ground isn't obligingly opening up and swallowing him whole. He focuses his attention on his abandoned tea cup, because he can feel Zhao Yuanzhou's eyes searching his face.

"I'm not sorry," the demon announces, and it's such a weird thing to say that it makes Zhuo Yichen look back into those dark eyes. "I got to kiss my favourite human, so whatever it is that you've done: I don't mind." His smile is entirely cheerful mischief and is such a 180 from moments before that Zhuo Yichen knows he is acting, and reacts accordingly to roll his eyes.

"There, that's the infamous Zhuo-daren I know," Zhao Yuanzhou drops part of the mischief-mask, but keeps his smile. He returns to his own seat instead of being so terribly close, and waits patiently for Yichen to sit upright and collect his thoughts. "Now, if Zhuo-daren would tell this lowly demon what he has done wrong, perhaps this one can forgive him, hm?" He makes it sound so easy, Zhuo Yichen thinks. He makes it sound so tempting, as well: forgiveness. 

Zhuo Yichen stares at the demon for a long moment before deciding to put away his pride. It's the least he can do for leading the demon on like that. "I… have never kissed anyone," he begins, and resolutely looks away from the smirk Zhao Yuanzhou lips curl into at those words. "All the stories say people kiss, but I've never understood why? It just… has never seemed interesting." 

"And it was interesting enough to ask now?"

"I wasn't sure– so I thought I should check, because kissing seems to be how people tell if they…"

"If they like one another?" Zhao Yuanzhou completes the words that Zhuo Yichen cannot make himself say.

"Yes," he admits, looking firmly at the table.

Laughter is probably the last reaction Zhuo Yichen expected, but Zhao Yuanzhou is laughing. "Ah, Xiao Zhuo, I have good news: there are many more ways to tell a person you like them besides kissing."

When the demon says it it sounds so simple, so obvious. Zhuo Yichen wonders why he hadn't thought of that, why the stories are so full of kissing if there are other ways to show love. Still, he feels the need to check: "You don't mind?"

"Mind? That I was given your first and last kiss? Why, Zhuo-daren I am honoured-oof," Zhuo Yichen punches him in the shoulder for that, but stays to wait while Zhao Yuanzhou gets them the wine he offered earlier. They've got much more to talk about.

Him❤️