THROUGH A RAPIST’S EYES” (PLS TAKE TIME TO READ THIS. It May Save A Life, It May Save Your Life.)

I live here now

✨ I see the vision ✨

I have excellent news for all of you.

Captain Chris’ Manipulation of Kant Pt. 1

how the conversations with capt chris and kant influence the approaches that kant takes to play out his mission and some intricacies on how capt. chris makes kant think he has no choice. using references to chadok’s grooming of akk

firstly gonna start by explaining how we got here.

you may ask if kant didn’t want to do this why meet with the captain in the first place?

the first time we get introduced to capt. is at the bowling alley when kant ignores his call which is later explained by how kant was already promised freedom from that work so he was avoiding it at all costs.

next time he calls kant is with style and immediately we can see that he doesn’t want to pick up but leading into this the convo of bison was brought up making style tease that it was him. when kant denies, then style ultimately gets curious and questions then who is it?

and now kant feels pressure that he has to pick it up bc then it would be a bigger conversation that kant isn’t willing to have

next we go to their first meeting

kant immediately brings up the fact that he was promised that the last mission was the last and he was free

also goes back to his talk with style before. style doesn’t question it but from the previous avoidance it’s clear that style doesn’t know abt kant’s involvement with the police)

capt.’s response is to agree with him. yes i did do what i said.

he then introduces another job which kant tries to decline and his response is this. he automatically contradicts himself backtracking and using big words to basically say the same thing.

which kant from his convo before already thought was done. he thought he was totally clean and capt here is basically using his knowledge abt the system against kant.

after kant still showed reluctance, capt. realized that this wasn’t enough anymore and that he would have to use dirty tricks to get kant to agree to it this time

he goes on to threaten to bring back up the crimes that he just said he dropped from his previous missions.

kant picks up on this and realizes that he is stuck with no other option but to help him. which capt. give a smile bc his tactics worked

fuck him btw hate his smug face

he goes on to give kant the mission which kant then realizes that it’s bison and probably not thinking gives info abt his prior sexual history with him.

hears that and gives him this look. a look that says

“you already have something against him. use it”

and here’s where similarities between capt. and teacher chadok comes in. capt. uses this look here as a way to indirectly signal to kant what to do this is equivalent to chadok’s hand on akk’s shoulder.

these are puppeteering tactics that both of them use to get their pawns to do their dirty work. chadok knew that akk was the curse and even praised him for it while touching his shoulder like he did before to encourage him to “take care” of things.

this is when akk starts to realize that he was being manipulated the entire time and it wasn’t just his own decisions

i think this is the same way that capt. is trying to use kant. he’s not giving him a specific course of action but hinting at the ways that would be best.

capt. does the same thing

(continue to part 2 in reposts)

There’s a foreign blood pumping through his veins, calling out to him in the heavy silence, turning his once warm hands to ice. He wonders if the others can hear it, that harrowingly loud, screaming rush, that withholds sleep from him and chases his every waking moment; no amount of meditation could satiate it, that cloying weight that never ceased.

---

Or, Zhuo Yichen has trouble reconciling his past nature with his present.

---

Soooo.... I finally mustered up the time to finish this little fic!

done with the "came back wrong" trope. what about came back American

hey, it’s me again, your favourite chronically ill writer mutual.

so, my second MRI to help determine whether I have cancer in my spine is this coming monday and I just found out that it’s going to cost me nearly 1500$.

after that, I’m going to have to get a biopsy, and then either have surgery or radiation to knock it out.

I’m currently working three part-time jobs, but I may have to quit one or more in the aftermath of this, I have no idea what recovery is going to look like.

I’m not asking for free money, I want to write for you.

please let me do that.

commission me | tip me

reblogs appreciated, tags under the cut. (fandoms tagged for fic commissions, not spam)

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Ying Lei + ZYC and ZYZ

21. On a place of insecurity

(Ying Lei needs some love in this fandom ♥️)

You're so right, Ying Lei deserves ALL the love!

Seeing Zhao Yuanzhou and Zhou Yichen being disgustingly happy together doesn't get any easier, even with the passage of time. Ying Lei had kind of hoped it would: that he'd get used to them being sappy, and coincidentally going to bed at the same time, and then arriving at breakfast at the same time as well, looking equally sleep-deprived.

It's not that he doesn't want his friends to be happy! They deserve all the happiness after what life has been throwing at them. It's just that Ying Lei kind of wishes he had that, too. He stares into his cup of wine. The others have long gone to bed, and it's really no fun drinking alone, but as long as he doesn't finish this cup he doesn't have to go to bed yet. If he doesn't finish the wine he does not have to finish the empty darkness of his room, and lie awake in the night while his mind fills the emptiness with too many thoughts.

It's trying to do so even now, and Ying Lei has to shake his head to dislodge the thoughts that are trying to drag him down. Perhaps that's why he doesn't notice until it's too late.

Another pair of wine cups appears to his left in a familiar swirl of red energy, and someone sets down a new bottle of wine to his right. Zhou Yichen-daren sits down across the table, and the inevitable demonic presence that follows him elegantly flops down onto the cushion next to Ying Lei. He doesn't even bother to sit upright, and Ying Lei can practically hear his grandfather berating him. Apparently Zhao Yuanzhou cannot, because he leans his shoulder against Ying Lei's and reaches for the wine.

"Drinking alone isn't good for you, little mountain god," he purrs, and pours all three of them a drink. Ying Lei loses his tongue somewhere between feeling the demon's warmth even through his mountain clothes and the way the demon's thin robes are barely being held together by a single ruby-and-gold clasp at his throat.

Ying Lei decides that the sensible thing to do is to ignore him. Across the table Zhou Yichen is staring at him a little too intently, a knowing smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He is dressed at least a little more decently, which is to say: he's not showing any skin. What he is wearing, however, is most definitely a cloak that belongs to a certain great demon, over what appears to be his sleeping clothes… "Xiao Zhuo-daren, I thought you… both of you went to bed earlier. Is there something wrong?"

"Hmm, very wrong," The demon practically purrs as he hands Ying Lei his cup. Ying Lei looks at him and then remembers he was ignoring him and turns back to Zhou Yichen. He is just in time to see him blink away a confused look.

"Our friend seemed lonely," is all the explanation Zhuo-daren offers. "So we decided to make sure you're not," the demon adds. He raises his cup in a toast, and when Zhuo Yichen joins in Ying Lei can't very well leave them hanging.

"To good company," the demon toasts, and they drink deeply. It suddenly occurs to Ying Lei that Zhuo-daren's ... boyfriend? His partner? Zhou Yichen's demon is leaning against Ying Lei, barely dressed, entirely indecent, and Ying Lei is letting it happen. He's also pathetically grateful for the company, and he'd rather the demon didn't move, but he also doesn't want to offend Zhuo-daren–

Someone lightly flicks a finger against his forehead, and Ying Lei is thrown back into the present. "Really, little mountain god, someone like you shouldn't get drunk so easily," the demon teases. He moves to steal Ying Lei's cup as well, but Ying Lei isn't about to let him steal the one thing he can rely on for company. He moves the cup to his far hand and holds it out of the great demon's reach. Zhao Yuanzhou makes a playful grab for it anyway, and for a moment too long Ying Lei is distracted by Zhuo Yichen's smile at their antics. Then he overbalances, and falls over sideways, and the demon leaning against him falls over with him.

The floor is not so far, and there is a cushion left there from when Bai Jiu was sitting on his other side during dinner. He lands softly enough, and even manages to save the wine– and then Zhao Yuanzhou plants an arm on either side of his head, catching himself and looming dangerously close over Ying Lei.

There is an infuriating smile on the demon's face, and he doesn't move at all, so Ying Lei can only lie there, one arm outstretched to hold his cup, the rest of him trapped under the warm weight of a demon. From somewhere above them, Zhou Yichen sighs. "Is this what you meant when you said you wanted to discuss our proposition, you great monkey?" Ying Lei can hear the eye roll that accompanies his words, and he has a front row view of the demon pouting, winking at Ying Lei, and then looking at Zhou Yichen all pouty again– without getting up from where he is practically sitting on top of Ying Lei. Ying Lei wonders what proposition they are talking about.

"Xiao Zhou-daren, sometimes you have to go with the flow! If life gives you an opportunity you should take hold of it with both hands and not let go."

Very carefully, Ying Lei sets down the cup of wine on the floor above his head. With his free hand he starts to lever himself up, fully expecting Zhao Yuanzhou to move out of his way. He should have known better than to expect the demon to behave in any way predictably, for Zhao Yuanzhou does not move an inch. He only smirks wider when Ying Lei tries to sit up and comes to within an inch of those smiling lips before realizing the demon's play.

"O- opportunity?"

"Yes," Ying Lei can feel the breath of that word touch his own lips, and shivers. Zhao Yuanzhou's smile is all teeth now, it is hard to look away. "We thought you seemed… a little too alone. And when we saw you watching us leave this evening we thought: perhaps he could keep us company."

There is something oddly specific about the way he emphasizes that Ying Lei could keep them company. Not his friends coming to drink with him, no: he, Ying Lei, join… them?

"Hah?" the thought refuses to make sense, but the demon only blinks at him, toothy smiley unchanged: dangerous and tempting. "But… aren't you two…?" It seems rude to even say the words, that his friends are sleeping together, living together, practically married except for some paperwork.

"Yes," both of his friends chorus at the same time.

"But then why…"

"Why not?" Zhao Yuanzhou grins. "Only if you're interested, of course," Zhou Yichen adds, ever considerate. "This isn't about us." Ying Lei has so many questions right now, he doesn't even know where to start. He settles for a lame: "I don't' get it," and immediately feels like hiding in a mountain cave for a few years because of how stupid that sounds.

"Allow me to show you," Zhao Yuanzhou grins, and doesn't wait for permission. He closes the small gap between them, and wraps a warm hand around Ying Lei's chin. His lips are hot against his own. Ying Lei gasps, and the great demon uses that invitation to invade his mouth, licking and tasting and stealing his breath–

Then he leans back, and he's still wearing that same smirk. Panic wells up in Ying Lei and he looks towards Zhou Yichen across the table– only he is gone, his seat empty. The warm fingers on his chin turn his face back to Zhao Yuanzhou, and then further to the other side, where Zhou Yichen has sat down next to them. Ying Lei doesn't get the time to worry about kissing Xiao Zhuo-daren's boyfriend-demon-something. Zhao Yuanzhou presents Ying Lei to Zhou Yichen, and Zhou Yichen smiles and wraps a hand around YIng Lei's neck. His hand is cold, or perhaps it only seems that way because Ying Lei must be blushing bright red, and he pulls him close. Zhao Yuanzhou sits back up to allow him space, and Ying Lei moves as if in a dream. Zhou Yichen's kiss is entirely different: gentle and questioning, lips moving together as if partners in a dance. His hand is solid as stone, unwavering and undoubting, and Ying Lei feels like a small stone caught between two great rivers. Xiao Zhuo's kiss steals his breath in an entirely different way, and when he finally comes up for air two pairs of eyes are looking at him expectantly.

Ahhh! Thank you again 🤣

ZYZ + ZYC = 20. Kiss on a scar ♥️

Amazing choice, thank you! This one went a little maudling...

I'm still taking prompts! You can find the full list here, or feel free to make up a fun addition to the list~

Zhao Yuanzhou forgets at times how easily humans scar. How they carry the visual, visceral evidence of their defeats or their victories on their bodies for the entirety of their short lifespans. He shudders at the thought: if one had to wear one's scars for life, at his age he might be covered in scars. It's probably for the best he can heal himself as well as he can.

Next to him on the bed Zhou Yichen sleeps on, unaware he is being watched so carefully. He claims he sleeps better when someone is with him, and to his credit Zhao Yuanzhou hasn't seen him have any nightmares on any of the nights they spent together. If he makes sure to thoroughly exhaust Zhou Yichen before he falls asleep, well, one does what one must to help a friend avoid nightmares.

The sweat they worked up together has since dried on Yichen's skin, but the smell of them still lingers in the room. These quiet moments feel like a luxury, and he would wake Yichen to share the moment, but waking him would break the moment too, and Yichen would not appreciate being woken for anything other than an emergency.

So Zhao Yuanzhou luxuriates in the peace alone, remembering the scars that cross Yichen's shoulders, the one round arrow scar next to his navel, the barely-visible scars on his hands. To say Zhou Yichen isn't self conscious about them would be a lie, but he forgets to hide himself between moans and sighs as they spend an evening in each other's company. It is only afterwards that he remembers, and they both pretend Zhao Yuanzhou hasn't long seen the past Yichen carries with him on his skin, like he didn't kiss the same expanse of flesh moments or hours ago.

Zhou Yichen rolls onto his side, his back now to Zhao Yuanzhou. Normally Zhao Yuanzhou would take this opportunity to lie down beside him, to pull him close, and fit them together in a way that will help him trap Yichen in bed come morning. Tonight, instead, he sits up, leaning on one hand as he reaches out and slides Yichen's shirt off his shoulder.

Lean muscles shrug in response to the cold, but Zhou Yichen doesn't wake. Instead he curls in on himself, pushing his back closer to Zhao Yuanzhou's warmth. In the moonlight the visible scars gleam like pearls, like treasures instead of imperfections.

Zhao Yuanzhou can't help himself– and why should he? He is a demon, after all. He leans in close, running a hand under Yichen's arm and to his chest to hold him in place (to hold him close), and presses a soft trail of kisses along one ridged scar, and down another. Zhou Yichen stirs, but wakes only slowly. Still languid from their earlier efforts, he only moves far enough to open one eye and stare balefully but sleepily and Zhao Yuanzhou.

"What are you doing, you ridiculous demon?"

"Hmm, I'm having my wicked way with you, can't you tell, Xiao Zhuo-daren?" Zhao Yuanzhou teases, lips barely releasing the marked skin under them to form the words.

"Why do you like them so much?" Yichen doesn't even respond to the teasing. It's no fun, except for the fact that Zhao Yuanzhou vividly remembers how he caused his current exhaustion. He finally relents his kisses, and settles down with his chest to Yichen's back, head propped up on one arm to lean over him- to be able to kiss him properly.

"I find it fascinating, the way you humans carry your past with you." 

Judging by his frown, Yichen is not moved by his kiss. "And must you enact this fascination in the middle of the night?"

"Would you prefer I do it during the day instead?" He replies in mock-surprise. They both know the answer to that, and Yichen pulls him into a rough kiss just to shut him up.

"No. Now sleep, you great ape."

even in death, I search for you

𓈒⟡₊⋆∘ Weak Hero Class 2 (2025)

the suhosieun & bakugotak parallels are actually insane if you think about it

maybe it's just me projecting because they're my favourite pairs from the show but there are just too many similarities to brush it off as coincidence!!

1. soulmates to the grave: suho & sieun. baku & gotak. suho & sieun are each other's best friends & soulmates. baku & gotak are the same for each other. they protect each other, they bicker, they laugh together. baku sleeps at gotak's place when he has a fight with his dad.

2. guardian angels: suho has always been the protector. baku is the protector of the whole school. they’re both the unspoken shields of their best friends, always showing up when things go sideways.

3. crippling guilt: sieun’s greatest wound is suho getting hurt because of him. and baku's greatest wound is gotak getting hurt because of him. they both carry the unbearable weight of believing it’s their fault. even if it wasn't.

4. the obsessive third wheels: beomseok's fixation on suho. baekjin’s twisted obsession with baku. they're the reasons suho & gotak actually got hurt.

5. the combat athletes: suho the boxer. gotak the taekwondo prodigy. both reduced to tragedy after a fight. suho ends up in a coma. gotak is forced to quit his taekwondo career.

6. they don’t want to fight—but they will: suho and baku both hate violence. suho's always asking people to stop when the fights get too serious. and baku has a no-fighting policy for eunjang. but when it’s for their friends? they will. suho's calm shatters. baku’s restraint burns. and they fight.

7. crossing the line for love: suho breaking youngbin’s hand because he hurt sieun’s. baku almost choking someone to death with his bare hands because they laid a finger on gotak. when it's them getting hurt, suho & baku — who never the cross the line — actually end up crossing the line.

8. "he only exists for him": jihoon saying “gotak exists because baku exists.” the director saying “suho solely exists for sieun.”

9. their weaknesses: baekjin uses gotak to manipulate baku into joining the union & threatening to harm suho to torment sieun. everyone knows where the soft spot is.

10. the colors say it all: suho & baku often seen wearing red. sieun & gotak usually in greys & blues.

so like, please get on the bakugotak agenda, because they're literally suhosieun adjacent.